Peeking in (ticker warning) xp

JocelynB0911 · February 2014

I'm not sure if this is the place I should be but I'm going to intro anyway.

My husband and I have been married five and a half years and have four wonderful kids. We knew we were done after our twins were born in august '13. Then our of left field we got pregnant again but that ended in a miscarriage.

A close friend of mine has been ttc for three years with no success. They are looking into adoption and she mentioned to me that she'd be open to using a surrogate. That's where I come in.

I offered to be their gestational carrier and it seems like this may be the route we are going to go. I know there is a process to all of this but I'd like to start charting so I have something to bring to their RE should they need it. It's still very early in the process and I'm not sure what to expect.

Anyhow, I'm here (if you'll have me).

Mama-Bear · February 2014

Welcome, there are a few surrogates on here. Their RE won't need charts (they'll manipulate your cycles with meds) but they will need all of your medical records from previous pregnancies and deliveries. Assuming you move forward their RE will review your records and will probably do additional screening before accepting you as their surrogate. You need to check the laws in your state, will need to check your insurance benefits packet to see if there's a surrogacy exclusion (don't call and ask, just look through your benefits and call for the packet if you don't have it). Many have an exclusion if you're the IP, the insurance won't pay for your surrogate, but many will cover a surrogate if she's the policy holder during her pregnancy (it's not to be used until you're released to your OB, don't use it at their RE's office, don't ever even give the RE a copy of your insurance info). You will both need separate attorneys to make sure you're equally protected, doesn't matter if or how much money is involved, money is a very small part of any surrogacy contract, I can't stress the importance of a solid contract enough, it lays out all expectations before anything even gets started so everyone knows what's expected and when. Make sure you agree on the big issues (S/R, termination for specific reasons.

Check out surromomsonline.com and allaboutsurrogacy.com

parker163 · February 2014

I'm in the beginning states of preparing to be a traditional surrogate for a family member. We are working with separate lawyers to draw up the contract and I'm also concerned about my insurance company. Since I'm the genetic mother we are hoping I'll be covered through the pregnancy. Good luck! It's an amazing thing to do. I just knew I didn't want to put my body through the process when I had perfectly good eggs and genetic material to share!!!

lincoln79 · February 2014

Welcome! We are using a GC and are the IPs. There are a great mix of the women on this board who have had different routes to and different roles in TPR.

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