Parenting

S/O vacationing without kids

DH and I have been on one overnight trip without DS when he was about 8 months old and then one more night when he stayed at the grandparents' and we stayed at home, but that's it so far.

We're thinking about going to Thailand for 4-6 nights in April, and we haven't decided whether to take him or not. It would just really change the dynamic of the trip. My parents and ILs are good at watching him, and they enjoy it. He will be about 17 months in April.

For your vacations, how often do you take the kids vs. leaving them with someone? DH and I would have a really hard time leaving him for that long, but it would be nice to have an "adult" vacation where we can go to nicer restaurants, not have to worry about nap times, etc.

Re: S/O vacationing without kids

  • Oh, I forgot. The other post was a "business" trip. But whatever.
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  • A week at 17 months is fine I think. I am not quite there yet, but I know ds would be happy with my mom. I'm comfortable at about 3 nights now, but the opportunity really hasn't presented itself for longer yet
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  • I haven't gone anywhere by myself since my first was born except to take the bar exam.  They do spend the night at grandparents' houses sometimes and that's fun, but we just stay home.

    DH and I are hoping to take a 4-5 day trip by ourselves for our tenth anniversary next year.  The littlest one will be about 18 months by then.

    I think Thailand would be a lot more fun without a lo.  If you have someone to watch him, that's what I would do.
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  • I guess I'm just curious for people who have older kids (like 8 or 12 years old), do you always take whole family vacations, or how often do you go on vacation with just you and SO? Because I love DS and would miss him and wouldn't want him to feel left out, but some adult time trips would be fun too.
  • I think it would be ok at that age but that seems like a really long way to go for only 4-6 nights, no? I also don't think it would be fun to take a toddler on that long a flight, deal with major time changes, and not really be able to relax with the kiddo running around.
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  • We lived in Thailand for 2 years, so we'd probably mostly be seeing friends, eating, and going to the beach. I don't know if we'll go to any temples.
  • We have an 8 yo and a 3 yo and I would say for us it's 50/50. They love their grandparents and I don't think they feel like they are missing out I think they feel like they won the lottery.
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  • Are you saying I'm fucking nuts or the other OP, @lisajay09?
  • edited February 2014
    DH and I are leaving DD for 6 days to go to Hawaii. She will turn 18 months while we're gone. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm super excited for a vacation and some alone time with DH, yet extremely nervous about being so far away for so long. I've never been away from her for more than 8 hours.
  • DD has only been away from us two nights (when I had DS at 14 mo), and she's 23 months. She would totally be fine with my mom though. DS is eight months and doesn't STTN. I feel guilty leaving him with anyone. We are actually headed home from a wedding right now. I plan to leave DD at my moms and just get little man.
  • I believe adult alone time is very necessary.  It helps you to reconnect with each other.  When away from DD do I miss her? Yes, like crazy.  Do I feel guilty about it? No.  We went to Europe last year without the kids.  Next year we'll go again with them.  Do it. 
  • We actually went away more when the kids were younger.  Now that they are older we hardly vacation at all.  We prefer the more childless vacations, and it's easier to justify them when they think they are getting the treat of staying at their grandparents or aunts for a few days, as opposed to them being upset that we are going to do a fun getaway and they are stuck home.  

    If we could afford to do family vacations AND couple vacations it would be wonderful.  But we can't, so we usually just do family day trips, and a couple over nights, and then do a few couple day trips, and a few overnights.  
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  • I think it is fine... I would not do it though. Our only child care would be my mom and I think it is unfair for us to leave both kids at this age with her for a along period of time (ILs and my dad live far away). We always take family vacations (we also bring 11 yo step son) and we usually "treat" my mom to the trip! She comes with us, gets her own room, etc but is available to come babysit at night or whatever. That arrangement works for us. (We just went to Disney and brought my mom. She relaxed at the pool by day and at night watched the kids while DH and I went out. She had a studio. Right next to our 2 bedroom suite). If you have appropriate child care, I say go for it
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  • never been on vacation without the kiddo, but then again most of the time our vacation is visiting family. (oh the joys of the military life, and leaving out of state away from families) 

    So we honestly don't really take vacations..
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  • The plane ride alone is enough for me to say leave him.  
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  • We did 4 nights in Vegas last year, just H and I. I would have gone to Thailand sans kid if H would fly that far (he hates long plane rides.)
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  • fredalina said:

    The only bad part of your plan is that you will go so far away for such a short time. Hardly worth the time on the plane, kid or not.

    @Fredalina, we are flying for free and will most likely get first class, so we don't mind the long plane ride. But if we take DS, we're not allowed to be in first class, so that's another reason not to take him.

    We don't get much vacation time, but we really miss Thailand and our friends there, so it's worth it to us to go.
  • Go for it honey !
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