Papa Don't Preach

ReeB83 · February 2014

So after feeling like I got way too lucky with #1, I am waiting to tell my family about #2, at least until I hear a heartbeat or see an ultrasound.

Then I will figure out a cute way to tell them. Maybe prank calls. Or send them something in the mail. Or a cute text. Or just call them, scream I'M PREGNANT and hang up.

There is no cute way to tell my dad. Last time, we weren't speaking so he had to hear it secondhand. Now we are on speaking terms and he loves his grandson, but he is not a fan of DH. I remember being mortified at my wedding when he stepped up after all the poems and heartfelt speeches and said "I guess you're happy now".

Last time I talked to him I didn't know I was pregnant and he kept sneaking in snide comments about DH not making enough money. I commented to him that I wasn't feeling well and he said "oh God, you're not pregnant are you?"

How do I tell the man that definitely won't be thrilled?

ReeB83 · February 2014

DaisyBlinks said:

I would not continue a relationship with someone who couldn't be civil to my husband so it wouldn't be an issue for me.

He's civil TO DH. In fact, DH likes him and thinks the feeling is mutual. He wants to buy him cigars to announce the new baby and invites him to his family functions. That makes me even more PO'd because DH thinks they're all good. Dad directs all his snarky comments to me and I just kinda absorb them for reasons that would be tooooooooo much drama to explain.

cMichelle0423 · February 2014

I'm not on talking terms with my dad right now and I did not personally tell him. I told my mom and let her pass on the news. So maybe you can do that, or give him the news around a lot of people so that he can't really make any unnecessary comments. OR you can tell him the news followed by "and I'd appreciate it if you kept any negative comments to yourself". .

sarisosrWed65535 · February 2014

Well - one thought would be to let DH tell him. Man to man - the great news. If he is only snarky with you, then you secretly avoid the issue. And maybe the gesture of your husband reaching out would be a nice thing?

ReeB83 · February 2014

sarisosrWed65535 said:

Well - one thought would be to let DH tell him. Man to man - the great news. If he is only snarky with you, then you secretly avoid the issue. And maybe the gesture of your husband reaching out would be a nice thing?

DH had the same idea; maybe take him out to a cigar shop and get him good and comfortable, then tell him (it's a disgusting habit, but you gotta get him where he lives, right?)

rainydayluck · February 2014

ReeB83 said:

DaisyBlinks said:

I would not continue a relationship with someone who couldn't be civil to my husband so it wouldn't be an issue for me.

He's civil TO DH. In fact, DH likes him and thinks the feeling is mutual. He wants to buy him cigars to announce the new baby and invites him to his family functions. That makes me even more PO'd because DH thinks they're all good. Dad directs all his snarky comments to me and I just kinda absorb them for reasons that would be tooooooooo much drama to explain.

Wow, your dad is an asshole. No matter how he feels, he shouldn't be talking shit to you about your husband and you should be shutting that down when it happens to make sure he knows it is not acceptable that he speak about your husband like that to you.

ReeB83 · February 2014

Joy2611 said:

Prank calls or screaming "I'm pregnant!" in the phone is not cutesy. It's obnoxious as all hell.

Wow. Mean much?

ReeB83 · February 2014

Joy2611 said:

ReeB83 said:

Joy2611 said:

Prank calls or screaming "I'm pregnant!" in the phone is not cutesy. It's obnoxious as all hell.

Wow. Mean much?

No. I'm honest.

Well the advice I asked for wasn't "what do you think of how I plan on telling the rest of my family?" A. It was a joke. B. I didn't describe the rest of my family so you have no idea whether or not they would think something like that was funny or not .

I am super sick and tired of people acting like mean girls on this site. It's supposed to be a nice place where moms can talk to each other, not put each other down. I see people post things on here that are not exactly my cup a tea all the time and I either figure out something nice to say or keep it moving.

LnR70707 · February 2014

Then I will figure out a cute way to tell them. Maybe prank calls. Or send them something in the mail. Or a cute text. Or just call them, scream I'M PREGNANT and hang up

ReeB83 · February 2014

Wow. Looks like I won't make any friends here. I must be the only nice person left.

ReeB83 · February 2014

Seriously for those of you who actually gave me actual advice, thank you. THAT is what I came to this site for. For those of you who got up this morning and logged on to put people down, I hope it filled whatever hole you needed to fill.

Out.

LnR70707 · February 2014

ReeB83 said:

Wow. Looks like I won't make any friends here. I must be the only nice person left.

Just so you know, the flag button is not a "dislike" button, and you will get banned for unnecessary flagging. Flags are only for violations of terms of use and nothing we said was in violation of the TOU.

ETA: You can remove those flags by loving the posts.

I removed the flags. @ReeB83 don't abuse the flag button.

greeneyed_bride · February 2014

ReeB83 said:

DaisyBlinks said:

I would not continue a relationship with someone who couldn't be civil to my husband so it wouldn't be an issue for me.

He's civil TO DH. In fact, DH likes him and thinks the feeling is mutual. He wants to buy him cigars to announce the new baby and invites him to his family functions. That makes me even more PO'd because DH thinks they're all good. Dad directs all his snarky comments to me and I just kinda absorb them for reasons that would be tooooooooo much drama to explain.

I've got to be honest - I feel sad for your husband that you let your dad say nasty things about him without standing up for him. My MIL said some really unkind things to/about me before our wedding because of some random wedding drama (that wasn't our fault at all.) DH basically told her that she could either speak kindly to/about the woman he was spending the rest of his life with or she wasn't invited to the wedding. She has been nice to me ever since. I would've been absolutely crushed if my husband had just let her say nasty things about me without standing up for me just because he wanted to avoid drama. If you love your husband, you owe it to him to stand up for him, even if he doesn't know these things are being said about him.

Honestly, I think your bigger concern should be figuring out how to show loyalty to your husband by refusing to allow your dad to speak badly about him to you. If you don't allow these comments, they won't continue. Worry about how to tell him you're pregnant after you've addressed the bigger issue.

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

ReeB83 said:

Joy2611 said:

ReeB83 said:

Joy2611 said:

Prank calls or screaming "I'm pregnant!" in the phone is not cutesy. It's obnoxious as all hell.

Wow. Mean much?

No. I'm honest.

Well the advice I asked for wasn't "what do you think of how I plan on telling the rest of my family?" A. It was a joke. B. I didn't describe the rest of my family so you have no idea whether or not they would think something like that was funny or not .

I am super sick and tired of people acting like mean girls on this site. It's supposed to be a nice place where moms can talk to each other, not put each other down. I see people post things on here that are not exactly my cup a tea all the time and I either figure out something nice to say or keep it moving.

Dude. Calm yourself. I thought the idea of screaming into the phone was messed up too. I would send Dad a card/letter in the mail. If he chooses to act like an ass then give him the deep freeze treatment.

alysshas · February 2014

Yikes. This place is hostile. Gross.

BlckRoses · February 2014

greeneyed_bride said: ReeB83 said: DaisyBlinks said: I would not continue a relationship with someone who couldn't be civil to my husband so it wouldn't be an issue for me. He's civil TO DH. In fact, DH likes him and thinks the feeling is mutual. He wants to buy him cigars to announce the new baby and invites him to his family functions. That makes me even more PO'd because DH thinks they're all good. Dad directs all his snarky comments to me and I just kinda absorb them for reasons that would be tooooooooo much drama to explain. I've got to be honest - I feel sad for your husband that you let your dad say nasty things about him without standing up for him. My MIL said some really unkind things to/about me before our wedding because of some random wedding drama (that wasn't our fault at all.) DH basically told her that she could either speak kindly to/about the woman he was spending the rest of his life with or she wasn't invited to the wedding. She has been nice to me ever since. I would've been absolutely crushed if my husband had just let her say nasty things about me without standing up for me just because he wanted to avoid drama. If you love your husband, you owe it to him to stand up for him, even if he doesn't know these things are being said about him.
Honestly, I think your bigger concern should be figuring out how to show loyalty to your husband by refusing to allow your dad to speak badly about him to you. If you don't allow these comments, they won't continue. Worry about how to tell him you're pregnant after you've addressed the bigger issue.

________ETA- Quotes are weird
Totally agree! I'd also feel kinda betrayed if my MIL was talking shit about me to DH and DH didn't tell me about it. Then I'd be all friendly with MIL, when in fact she hated me. If anyone in my family said something negative about DH, I'd defend him and tell him what happened so he didn't walk around looking like an idiot.

Pinkmom19 · February 2014

sarisosrWed65535 said:
Well - one thought would be to let DH tell him. Man to man - the great news. If he is only snarky with you, then you secretly avoid the issue. And maybe the gesture of your husband reaching out would be a nice thing?

This. What a great suggestion.

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