The Office Baby Factory

on42 · February 2014

I know, that is kind of mean to say, but... I found out this morning that a 21-year-old, unmarried nursing student who works in our office (her mother is a colleague) is pregnant with her third kid. It's your classic baby-factory situation: She gets wrapped up with the wrong boys (yet attends our well-respected university?!), gets pregnant, they bail/don't pay child support, and and she's in school full-time already and working three jobs. Why does she do this?

I'm pretty upset about it. Her oldest is five and her youngest is 9 months old. Just six months ago, we brought over a crib for her baby. Nate said this morning when I told him, "Instead of a crib, we should have brought a box of condoms."

I am so angry. She's a nursing student. She knows how conception works. She knows about birth control. She and I have talked about this many, many times. I'm sure there's all kinds of psychology wrapped up in why she keeps getting pregnant.

I started to cry when I found out this morning (another colleague told me, thank god). Part of it was anger, and part of it was having to be happy for her YET AGAIN. But I'm just not going to do it. I don't think anyone in our office is going to do it again - throw her a shower, or congratulate her. Everyone feels like it's absolutely ridiculous.

And yes, she's having the baby.

Samuelismomma · February 2014

i know what you mean you look at some women and think to yourself WHY,WHY!! Does your colleague say anything about her daughter? I wouldn't support her either, unless it's to support her keeping her legs together! Sorry so mad for you, LOL;)..My SIL I was saying got pregnant when I miscarried and I now I find out due same month. She was not wanting this baby at all:(...this whole process sucks most of the time.

Davie813 · February 2014

Ugh--what an icky situation. It definitely isn't fair. There have been so many times I've felt sad, angry, envious, and just completely mad at the world when confronted with people who just seemed to produce babies with no effort and not under the greatest circumstances. (I come from a state with a LOT of teenage pregnancy; per Facebook, quite a few of my HS classmates are grandparents, and I'm 39.) When you're wondering if you'll ever get to have a family, it just feels like a slap in the face. I'm pretty sure everyone on this board can identify.

I think you're right that there's a lot going on there psychologically. I don't think she's probably in a good place, repeatedly choosing men who run out on her and so on. Her situation doesn't sound like a lot of fun, FWIW. :-<

Not trying to be preachy. /end sermon.

Try to hang in there--you'll be an amazing mother! Hugs to you.

BTW, are baby showers for a third baby a thing? I wouldn't participate either!

on42 · February 2014

It was the first time I cried hearing someone was pregnant. My friends get pregnant (many, it's their first), and I am always happy for them. But this is downright irresponsible. Her mother is beyond furious - and probably humiliated; she doesn't know what to do with this gal. But what can you do?

I think I'm just angry because she knows better, and it's blatant irresponsibility and drama - between the pregnancies and the men. I'm tired of it.

Samuelismomma · February 2014

Unless she grew up with a dad who ran out, or a mother with a revolving door of men, it might be psychological. If this isn't the case then I would say it's what I would call the reality show effect. The person with most irresponsibility and drama in their lives win and are cool.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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Davie813 · February 2014

on42 · February 2014

Her parents (my co-worker) support her; they've been married 39 years, are Lutheran, very family oriented. Who knows what goes on behind the door of the family dynamic, though. I think this girl is just overloaded, selfish, and making very, very poor decisions (to say the very least). The parents want to pull the plug on their support, but then what happens to the kids/babies?

I think I get upset because I've been a foster parent. I've dealt with the mothers who can't care for their kids, who are careless with their reproductive health and education, who make horrible, selfish decisions, etc. It is maddening.

It feels like a slap in the face. I'm just very upset with her. Everyone in the office is basically disappointed in her. She's like one of the family - been working here since she was 18, etc.

Anyway, I'm not looking for sympathy. I guess just looking for a place to vent about it. I want to shake her! [-X

Davie813 · February 2014

Vent away--we're here to listen!

BeckyP005 · February 2014

Ugh. I have no words for that person. Unreal. I'm sorry

Vent away.

tlc35 · February 2014

So frustrating. Come here to vent any time.

KirstenAlecia · February 2014

Its certainly a cruel world where people who shouldn't be having so many babies are popping em out one after another and there are women like many hear who are struggling.

I can relate to this on a few levels. i think Im just getting to the point where its hard to hear about babies on the way…..

MARISAV77 · February 2014

I am an L&D RN and see young single moms everyday at work who are on their 3rd, 4th, 5th kid with multiple fathers and who obviously can't afford to have more kids. It makes me mad all the time that these moms are living off the system and just keep on having children. And then I know there are a lot of women who are in stable, loving relationships who can afford to support having children, but can't get pregnant. I know life isn't fair sometimes, but these situations just make me so sad and mad at the same time!

hooligans4 · February 2014

Just sending you some (((hugs)))) lady

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