Hello all,
Just a friendly intro. My name is Theresa, from Long Island, NY. I barely made it into my October 2014 Board before heading over to the Miscarriage/Loss Board, and now I am ready to join this board.
It's been exactly one week today that I miscarried- first pregnancy, first MC @ almost 6 weeks. I was rushed to the ER due to hemorrhaging and after 6 1/2 hours there, I found out my baby was gone, but fortunately, my body took care of it all and I didn't need any further procedures.
The physical recuperation was bad enough, but emotionally, it was all too much to handle. After getting home from the ER at 6:30am last Saturday morning, I then slept for 3 hours before heading to my OBGYN at 11am. I barely had any time for RR or grievance before getting thrown into my husband's grandmother's wakes and funerals. I then headed right back to work.
This has been the longest week of my life and the last few weeks have had more ups and downs than I can handle. It's crazy to think back to how much has changed in only 1 week. It's still hard for me grasp it all; it seems surreal-like a horrible dream at times, but then I face reality.
I didn't think I would be ready for this board so fast, but I have come to a realization in the last week. Life is short, things come and go so quickly that you really need to embrace it all while you can. As much as I am still hurting inside, I need support to push me forward and not backwards because I scared.
My fear as we start TTC again (once my cycle regulates again, as per my OB) is that it will happen again. I am so scared because it was such a traumatic experience for me, that I am not sure I can handle it again. I am hoping that this MC doesn't scar me, causing me to be stressed my whole future pregnancies. Is this something you all have gone through? I mean, it scares me to the point that I rethink TTC right now.
Once my body (and OB) says it's ok to start TTC again, will I be emotionally ready?
I appreciate all your support and input in advance. "Loss/Miscarriage" really helped me this past week so I am really looking forward to making bonds here as well. There are some things that my husband just doesn't understand, as much as he tries (poor guy)!
Also, as I mentioned I am brand new here, as well as still very new to the whole Bump community, please feel free to throw me the heads up to anything I've done incorrectly or things I should still do, like add a ticker? I am clueless how to do that!
Thanks girls! Hope you are all having a wonderful Valentine's Day, by the way!
Me-28 DH-37
Together since 02/28/2007
Married since 09/07/2013
BFP 02/01/14 EDD 10/10/14 ...MC 02/08/14 CURRENTLY WAITING FOR AF TO RETURN...
:: TICK TOCK::TICK TOCK::
Re: Newbie Intro- TTC after recent MC
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
Welcome, i'm sorry for your loss.
Unfortunately the worry and stress really doesn't go away when you do get pg again. It's not until you are able to have your baby in your arms, when you finally feel like you can relax and breathe again. I had a loss in between my two living children and while my first pregnancy was filled with excitement and joy, my third pregnancy (after my 1st loss) I felt worried and anxious often. I felt like I couldn't feel complete joy until after my baby was born. Then every BFP after that, all I ever felt was worry. I didn't ever feel like I could let myself be completely happy. It sucks, to be honest. I feel like i've been robbed of that joy that other pregnant women get to experience. It's not fair, at all. Of course we are told to take one day at a time but it's hard to do that once you've had a loss.
Anyway, sorry to be so depressing. This board is full of wonderful ladies who know what you're going through and are a great resource and source of comfort. Hope your stay here is short.
P.S Here is the link for personalized tickers you requested
https://global.thebump.com/tickers/default.aspx
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
TTC #1 since January 2013
BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013
BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014
BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!
What you're feeling is completely normal. I wanted to add that when you're cleared for sex and when you're actively ttc again, don't be surprised if the whole flood of emotions comes back out and you might have crying during/after sex. This is also normal.
As somebody who's a (unsuccessful) multi-loss lady, I don't think the fear ever goes away after experiencing loss with future pg's. It's a completely different level of anxiety/stress/worry.
As for now, try not to focus on the future, instead focus on the present - which includes you healing physically & emotionally.
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart