TTC After a Loss

Newbie Intro- TTC after recent MC

Hello all,

Just a friendly intro. My name is Theresa, from Long Island, NY.  I barely made it into my October 2014 Board before heading over to the Miscarriage/Loss Board, and now I am ready to join this board.
It's been exactly one week today that I miscarried- first pregnancy, first MC @ almost 6 weeks. I was rushed to the ER due to hemorrhaging and after 6 1/2 hours there, I found out my baby was gone, but fortunately, my body took care of it all and I didn't need any further procedures.
The physical recuperation was bad enough, but emotionally, it was all too much to handle.  After getting home from the ER at 6:30am last Saturday morning, I then slept for 3 hours before heading to my OBGYN at 11am.  I barely had any time for RR or grievance before getting thrown into my husband's grandmother's wakes and funerals.  I then headed right back to work. 
This has been the longest week of my life and the last few weeks have had more ups and downs than I can handle.  It's crazy to think back to how much has changed in only 1 week.  It's still hard for me grasp it all; it seems surreal-like a horrible dream at times, but then I face reality.
 I didn't think I would be ready for this board so fast, but I have come to a realization in the last week.  Life is short, things come and go so quickly that you really need to embrace it all while you can.  As much as I am still hurting inside, I need support to push me forward and not backwards because I scared.
My fear as we start TTC again (once my cycle regulates again, as per my OB) is that it will happen again.  I am so scared because it was such a traumatic experience for me, that I am not sure I can handle it again.  I am hoping that this MC doesn't scar me, causing me to be stressed my whole future pregnancies.  Is this something you all have gone through?  I mean, it scares me to the point that I rethink TTC right now. 
Once my body (and OB) says it's ok to start TTC again, will I be emotionally ready? 
I appreciate all your support and input in advance.  "Loss/Miscarriage" really helped me this past week so I am really looking forward to making bonds here as well.  There are some things that my husband just doesn't understand, as much as he tries (poor guy)!

Also, as I mentioned I am brand new here, as well as still very new to the whole Bump community, please feel free to throw me the heads up to anything I've done incorrectly or things I should still do, like add a ticker?  I am clueless how to do that!

Thanks girls!  Hope you are all having a wonderful Valentine's Day, by the way!
Me-28 DH-37
Together since 02/28/2007
Married since 09/07/2013
                                                      
BFP 02/01/14 EDD 10/10/14 ...MC 02/08/14 
CURRENTLY WAITING FOR AF TO RETURN...
:: TICK TOCK::TICK TOCK::

Re: Newbie Intro- TTC after recent MC

  • Welcome.  I am so sorry for your loss ((((hugs)))).  I definitely felt like I was living in a daze with many ups and downs immediately following my miscarriage.  In fact, I don't remember much about anything the following months because I was grieving and withdrawn.  Everyone's experience is different.  Give yourself time to recover emotionally.  Even if you get the green light from your OB, you don't have to start TTC again until you are comfortable doing so.  Sending you more (((hugs))).
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • Loading the player...
  • Welcome to the board and sorry for your loss! I have a similar story, only a year ago. FX your stay here is short and sweet! 
    BFP @ 1/26/13 - Natural M/C @ 2/16/13 
    All AL welcome!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 
  • Welcome. I am sorry for your loss. 

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • *warning: children mentioned*

    Welcome, i'm sorry for your loss.

    Unfortunately the worry and stress really doesn't go away when you do get pg again. It's not until you are able to have your baby in your arms, when you finally feel like you can relax and breathe again. I had a loss in between my two living children and while my first pregnancy was filled with excitement and joy, my third pregnancy (after my 1st loss) I felt worried and anxious often. I felt like I couldn't feel complete joy until after my baby was born. Then every BFP after that, all I ever felt was worry. I didn't ever feel like I could let myself be completely happy. It sucks, to be honest. I feel like i've been robbed of that joy that other pregnant women get to experience. It's not fair, at all. Of course we are told to take one day at a time but it's hard to do that once you've had a loss.

    Anyway, sorry to be so depressing. This board is full of wonderful ladies who know what you're going through and are a great resource and source of comfort. Hope your stay here is short.
    May '15 January siggy challenge:
    image
    * Me: 33, DH: 34 * Married 11.10.06 *
    DS 10.2.07 | DD 7.27.10 | 4 angel babies
    BFP #7 | EDD 5.15.15 | It's a BOY!
     BabyFetus Ticker  
    image  image
  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know I will worry, but I did the first time too even though I had no signs that anything would go wrong. I figure it prepares you for a lifetime of worry that you have as a parent. I will always worry and k think that is going to be my job. I know now with time that I am becoming more and more ready to be pregnant again. I want to get to my end goal so badly. I'm sorry you are still in the raw state of emotions. It will get easier with time...i promise. So many hugs and welcome
      image

     

    image 



  • Sorry for your loss, welcome to the board. As PP's said, your experience is unique to you. We dont know if youll be emotionally ready, but we can be supportive if you are, or if you need more time.... hugs to you, I hope this helps.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm so sorry you are going thru this, hun. I just had my first miscarriage (and hopefully last) on 1/30/2014, too. I hope we can all be of great support to you. ((Hugs))

    P.S Here is the link for personalized tickers you requested
    https://global.thebump.com/tickers/default.aspx

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012

    BFP #2 1.21.2014 EDD 10.1.2014 natural m/c 1.30.2014
    BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
    imageimageimage


  • I'm sorry for your loss, welcome to the board. As others have said, just because the OB clears you doesn't mean you need to TTC immediately. Take all the time you need so you're ready emotionally too.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image  image

    TTC #1 since January 2013

    BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013

    BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014

    BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I'm sorry for your loss & finding yourself here.

    What you're feeling is completely normal. I wanted to add that when you're cleared for sex and when you're actively ttc again, don't be surprised if the whole flood of emotions comes back out and you might have crying during/after sex. This is also normal.

    As somebody who's a (unsuccessful) multi-loss lady, I don't think the fear ever goes away after experiencing loss with future pg's. It's a completely different level of anxiety/stress/worry.

    As for now, try not to focus on the future, instead focus on the present - which includes you healing physically & emotionally.

    BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!

    DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart

    image    image


     
     

     

     

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"