Parenting after a Loss

First u/s - not great, a little down

4legsRbest4legsRbest member
edited February 2014 in Parenting after a Loss

Well, a lot down, truth be told.

I went in for my 1st u/s yesterday at 6w0d an my RE saw 2 sacs but couldn't tell if there was anything in them and I was measuring behind at 5w1d. They re-did my beta which was 35,000 and my p4 was over 300 so I am almost double the average for both of those at this point (25dp3dt) and had a 35 hr doubling time still - multiples would be 19,000 hcg and p4 at about 150. I guess this is good, but it doesn't really make me feel that much better as I know the higher the levels go, the less they mean.

He was also using a new machine (the sales person was there - weird) he didn't really seem to like and said he may have seen something in the sac but wasn't sure, yada, yada, yada - he kept complaining about the logarithms and such on the machine the whole time and was frustrated with the sales/tech person. He told me and DH that it isn't uncommon at all for IVF babies to be a bit behind and to not see anything at this point. He isn't worried at all - and he really isn't touchy feely so I believe him when he says that - he is a very dry guy, but is good at what he does, which is all that matters to me. I prefer honesty over being coddled. DH isn't either, because you know how guys are...

Thing is - I am worried enough for all of us. I go between a slight feeling of being hopeful that at least 1 will make it to sobbing like a child in the bathroom at work preparing myself for another miscarriage and yet another IVF cycle. Why does this have to be so hard? I just want to crawl under a rock.

I have another scan in one week so see if there are any changes. Ugh, I can't tell if I have m/s or if  am sick to my stomach over this. Thanks for listening, ladies, I don't know what I would do without this community.

And Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!


Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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Re: First u/s - not great, a little down

  • I am so sorry you are left feeling this way.  Uncertainty is the worst.  As is sobbing in the work bathroom.  I've been there. 

    Remember that it is not over until it's over. You are still very much in the game at this point.  Hanging around these parts for 2.5 years I feel like I have seen many stories about bad early beta, u/s, bleeding that went on to be rainbow babies.  I'm not trying to give you false hope, but that's because I really believe there is hope here.

     

    Huge ((hugs)), hon.  I really hope the next week sails by.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic View Full Size Image
    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
    BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12 
    BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13






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  • ((HUGS)) I am sorry. I hope the week goes by quickly and you see plenty of growth at your next US.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • Thanks ladies, your support means a lot!
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • This sounds so frustrating.  I'm sorry you're feeling so worried.  It sounds good so far, but I totally understand your fears.  ((HUGS))  I hope the day gets better for you, and you have a restful weekend.  I'll be keeping an eye out for your update next week.  Best of luck!

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

    image

    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

    imageimage
  • What a rollercoaster. IVF is so hard anyway and adding the uncertainty too\ it makes it almost unbearable. I've been there - with an IVF cycle that ended in a miscarriage but was up and down for 2 weeks - betas are too low, betas are doubling, betas aren't doubling, etc. etc. I hope your situation is different though! Stay positive and try to stay calm, though I know that's almost impossible. What will happen, will happen. All you can do is wait. :-/
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • Mmm79 said:

    I am so sorry you are left feeling this way.  Uncertainty is the worst.  As is sobbing in the work bathroom.  I've been there. 

    Remember that it is not over until it's over. You are still very much in the game at this point.  Hanging around these parts for 2.5 years I feel like I have seen many stories about bad early beta, u/s, bleeding that went on to be rainbow babies.  I'm not trying to give you false hope, but that's because I really believe there is hope here.

     

    Huge ((hugs)), hon.  I really hope the next week sails by.

    All of this. So sorry hon. Lots and lots of T&P for you!
    PAL JULY SIGGY CHALLENGE: CAKE WRECKS
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     Lilypie - (KAFM)

  • ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry you didn't get to see more today. I'll be keeping you in my T&Ps for clear fetal poles and nice strong heart beats for next week. 
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
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    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • I'm so sorry you had such a bad appointment. I'm holding out hope for you, 6 weeks is right on the line for seeing a HB so it could just be a little early. And the fact that it was a new machine that the Dr wasn't used to as well. A millimeter can make there dates be off by days. I hope you have better news next week! 
    BFP #1: 12/26/11, EDD 09/05/12; m/c discovered: 02/22/12 @ 12w u/s,
    D&C: 03/08/12 Waited for AF for 146 long days!
    Hysteroscopy/D&C on July 10th to fix blocked cervix (DX: Cervical Stenosis)
    BFP #2 12/8/12, EDD 08/21/13 Our rainbow arrived 08/24/13!
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  • Oh, the unknown is the worst. I am so sorry you are having to go through it. Lots of hugs to you as you wait it out one more week. I am hoping for great results for you next week.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. I pray that your next appointment goes absolutely perfectly!
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  • Thinking of you and hoping everything looks perfect at your next appointment.
    About me:AMA 41 BFP 8/1/12 EDD 4/8/12 Found no Heartbeat 9/5/12 D&C 9/12/12

    BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13

    http://lb1f.lilypie.com/zdSMm7.png
  • Thank you ladies, it means the world to me that I have you!
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I just wanted to send you some T&Ps that next weeks scan goes well and you see yourself some double rainbows! :)  Until then, deep breaths.
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  • I'm so sorry you're dealing with uncertainty. Thinking of you and hoping for good news at your next appointment.
    image


  • Many T&P for a great next u/s and 2 healthy LOs. HUGS

    TTC since 7/10, BFP#1~6/28/11(4wks2d)~EDD 3/4/12, missed m/c(8wks)~8/12/11, D&C~8/16/11
    BFP#2~12/15/11~EDD 8/25/12, Hannah born 8/22/12~ 7lbs 10oz & 21 in. long. :)

    BFP#3~1/12/14~EDD 9/23/14, Found out baby is a girl!~4/18/14 :)

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  • 4legsRbest4legsRbest member
    edited February 2014

    Big hugs lady. When's your next appt?

    Thanks! Next Thursday, I wanted to wait a whole week. I can't stand that every 2 day stuff!
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Lots of hugs. I am so sorry things are so uncertain, but I'm thinking lots of positive thoughts for you.
    image

    imageimageimageTTC since 07/11 | natural m/c 08/11 | BFP 12/6/2011 | Elinor Anna born 8/18/2012 | BFP #2 1/16/2014
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Sending lots of T&Ps for a great update next week!! Hang in there, Momma.. uncertainty is the worst.. but, it's really a great sign that your doc has said he's not worried at all!! Hang on to that hope that he knows what he's talking about.. it's why you pay him the big bucks!!
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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    My blog about raising 2U2!
  • Sending lots of positive thoughts your way, hope the time flies by!
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • ((Hugs)) Thinking of you and I hope you get to see two beautiful heartbeats next time. 

    FWIW, I also had an u/s with a salesperson and it was so awkward. Like you said, the Dr. was more worried about navigating the machine and such that I felt like I didn't get an accurate read. It will be much better next time. 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • I'm so sorry things did not go better! Lots of prayers that the next ultrasound is more reassuring and shows lots of growth!

    Also, I keep wanting to tell you how much I love  the pic of your LO and dogs in your sig. It is too cute! What beautiful dogs... the kid is pretty cute too. :) Am I remembering correctly that you foster dogs, or are they all yours?

    Thanks! 2 were fosters. We have 2 Weims and a Dalmatian ;)
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
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