MIL Confused about LOs Name

nortiz03 · February 2014

Okay, so at Christmas me and my sister in law noticed that there were gifts from the grandparents (my in laws) that read to "Gabriella". LOs Name is Graciella. So I kind of thought it was just a mistake or FIL trying to be funny. Well fast forward to earlier this week, DH was on the phone with MIL and put it to LOs ear so she could talk to her. We both heard MIL calling LO Gabriella. DH didn't say anything until he hung up and that's when I mentioned the whole thing about the Christmas presents (he didn't know or notice at Christmas). I put LO to bed and he said he was going to call his mom. So I hear him getting onto his mom and telling her Lo's name is Graciella not Gabriella and mentions the incident at Christmas. Then after LOs down I ask him what MIL said and he just says- She got confused! I don't know it kind of made me mad because I really think that they thought that's what her name was!

They really don't see LO that often and when they do they call her Princess or Baby but I never heard them call her by name. But I swear they've heard us call her by name before. I'm just not gonna to mention it anymore and hope LO keeps crying everytime MIL gets in her face and baby talks to her!

Blueyed228 · February 2014

Seems like an honest mistake. Graciella isnt a well known name. I can see how it would be easily confused, especially by that generation.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. If she does it again, correct her and ask her whats up, but it sounds like she honestly didnt know

Boo0512 · February 2014

I would correct her the next time she says the wrong name.

ETA: that's just me I couldn't deal with my kid's grandparents not knowing her name. Even if they didn't see her often it would drive me crazy lol.

Lolalipsy · February 2014

Sounds like an honest mistake. My nanna calls Eliza Alisha by mistake. It's nbd, I just laugh it off. It's weird though considering she's named after her.

Blueyed228 · February 2014

My grandfather used to call Julia "Julie".

Not a big deal to me

surpriseaddition · February 2014

My MIL always called my oldest daughter "Samantha" instead of Amanda. She's an older women and it was an honest mistake. She eventually got it right, and hasn't confused it since. Just give it time.

coffeeandbooks · February 2014

hmmm..I know everyone is saying it is just a mistake and its no big deal..but I understand why you would be upset. It is their grandchild they should know her name.

emmy236 · February 2014

I guess I'm in the no big deal category. my one grandma who had 22 grand kids and 13 great grand kids, she never got my name right. My other grandparents had a German accent so if they did call me by my name it was slightly off. Also, older people seem to get names wrong a lot. I got called my sisters name a lot by my grandparents. Even my dad calls me by my sisters name frequently. I figure as long as it's not my brothers name or an expletive it's no big deal. But they did actually know my name, if your MIL actually didn't know her name vs having an old person moment than I'd be upset. My dad is 70 and he called R the wrong name before. They have the same name, I mean you can't get worse than that.

fancefpp · February 2014

She's never seen the name in writing?

CarolineEmma · February 2014

I know everyone is saying this is no big deal but I would be pretty pissed if my parents didn't know my kid's name

snowgirl427 · February 2014

I would give them a chance (now that they've officially been corrected)... But I would be super annoyed if they don't get it right going forward.

Boo0512 · February 2014

linegirl313 said:
I'd consider it an honest mistake if a distant relative or acquaintance made it. From a grandparent, I'd be pissed.

Please don't be offended by this, but I have to ask: could there be a dementia issue?

That's where I'm at too. A relative that close should know my kid's name.

fancefpp · February 2014

I'd consider it an honest mistake if a distant relative or acquaintance made it. From a grandparent, I'd be pissed. Please don't be offended by this, but I have to ask: could there be a dementia issue?
That's where I'm at too. A relative that close should know my kid's name.

Either this or maybe being passive aggressive? Maybe she doesn't like non traditional names.

watuzzigal · February 2014

The thing is, depending on culture, Graciela/Graciella is not an uncommon name. So that shouldn't be an issue, and if it were uncommon, it's still not the issue.

This comes from a person whose ILs (FIL, MIL, and SIL) argued (not badly) with me about A's made-up middle name at Christmas. I didn't even pick it; my H did. They didn't believe me until my H walked in and told them.

Either way, you ILs could have made an honest mistake, but they should also know her name this far into her life. Give them another chance; maybe they won't do it again?

Edit: pardon my vague antecedent.

watuzzigal · February 2014

^^that's not in reply to Shank, just a general statement.

blush64 · February 2014

I wouldn't care if she got the name wrong. If she heard it as Gabriella and no one corrected her it makes sense she would keep believing that was her name.

My father is not a name guy. He had to be reminded of A's name for months and we see him almost every day. He has no issues and is not even old. (Not yet 60 years old)

She has been corrected now. Hopefully she will remember but if not don't let it get you upset or angry.

Kissimi21 · February 2014

I'd wait to see if they continued making the mistake before getting angry. They might have not heard it correctly and assumed it was Gabriella.

My grandmother called my stepfather Max for years. Someone said,, "It's Matt's." and she thought they said, "It's Max." The name just stuck in her head despite my mother explaining to her that it was Matt, short for Mathias, not Max.

Oohgurl · February 2014

Honest mistake. They obviously 'think' they know her name, which they don't. I

flyliceandcoffee · February 2014

Late to the game here, but names are hard sometimes, especially if it's not the most common of names. Not trying to justify it by any means and I don't know your family history/background or anything, but if Graciella is more of an ethnically common name and your ILs are not of that same ethnicity, I could see them maybe getting confused, even more so if they don't see her very often and weren't corrected. I still have to correct my family when they pronounce S's name because half the time they get it right and half the time they don't. It used to bother me, but then when I thought about it, it's not a common name/spelling, I can't just expect them to know how to say her name and I should give them the benefit of the doubt.

D&S724 · February 2014

coffeeandbooks said:

hmmm..I know everyone is saying it is just a mistake and its no big deal..but I understand why you would be upset. It is their grandchild they should know her name.

I totally agree. I'd be kind of shocked and insulted if my ILs didn't know my LO's name 8 months after the fact. If it were my grandparents making the mistake, it would be no big deal at all, but ILs should know better.

nortiz03 · February 2014

I guess what gets me is that they are the grandparents and I feel like they should know her name by now. It is a very common name in our culture so I would totally understand (I think) if we had given LO an uncommon name.

Also, it may be a number of things and this just tops everything. IL's live 10 minutes from us and they've seen LO once since New Year's Day. I understand we are all busy with work and all and I feel like that is just how DHs family is they aren't really open to sharing or showing their feelings.

We are the last ones out of the family to have kids. So when I was pregnant everyone was so excited for us. One thing that didn't really bother me when it happened but looking back now makes me mad- LO was in NICU for a week after she was born which was an hour away from home. So DH and I were up there for a week away from home just waiting to bring LO home. During that week no one offered to take the ILs up to see us (MIL does not drive and FIL would probably get lost). I feel like if they really wanted to see LO or even be there for support especially for DH they would've tried to find a way up there.

So MIL getting the name wrong really just pissed me off. The next time I hear MIL or anyone call LO by the wrong name I will politely correct and do so until they get it right.

nortiz03 · February 2014

CarolineEmma said:

I know everyone is saying this is no big deal but I would be pretty pissed if my parents didn't know my kid's name

DH rarely lets anything get to him, I mean he is pretty laid back about anything. I could tell he wasn't happy about this and I'm glad he called his mom back to correct her.

Oohgurl · February 2014

I am sorry. I think this is ridiculous. They don't know that they don't know the name. They THINK they know her name. They should know the name, yes, but you should have corrected them already or realized that they didn't know it. Your mad at them for something they don't even realize that they are wrong about.

Blueyed228 · February 2014

Oohgurl said:
I am sorry. I think this is ridiculous. They don't know that they don't know the name. They THINK they know her name. They should know the name, yes, but you should have corrected them already or realized that they didn't know it. Your mad at them for something they don't even realize that they are wrong about.

I agree.

Sounds like there is more to it than just a name.

Schell2013 · February 2014

I am an awful speller and have probably made many mistakes on people's name on accident. I sure didn't do it on purpose, just an honest mistake. I have a weird name, spelt weird and it gets spelled an pronounced wrong ALL the time. It doesn't bother me one bit.

HZ2012 · February 2014

coffeeandbooks said:
hmmm..I know everyone is saying it is just a mistake and its no big deal..but I understand why you would be upset. It is their grandchild they should know her name.

Agreed.

nortiz03 · February 2014

HZ2012 said:

hmmm..I know everyone is saying it is just a mistake and its no big deal..but I understand why you would be upset. It is their grandchild they should know her name.
Agreed.

Thanks, I still feel the same way!

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