Opinions on Fundraising

CruisenBride06 · February 2014

We are just getting started in the process and I am quickly realizing just how expensive adoption really is. The idea of fundraising or asking for donations from friends/family makes me kind of uncomfortable... I was just wondering what other people think of fundraising for adoption or what others are doing to help pay for it. We are planning on doing DIA, if that helps... TIA!

Dr.Loretta · February 2014

We were lucky in that we had a rental property we sold in order to fund the upfront fees. After DH's (very generous) company adoption reimbursement, and the adoption tax credit, we got back about 2/3 of our fees. I am torn about fundraising. It is not something that personally makes us feel comfortable, for a variety of reasons.

There are those who say if you can't afford the fees, don't adopt. But there are plenty of people who can afford to actually raise a child, it's just the hump of getting over the fee payments. It can elicit a lot of back and forth and nastiness (not on here fortunately). Some people feel better giving something in return (setting up an Etsy shop, for example, or selling raffle tickets, or having a spaghetti dinner, or a huge yard sale where people donate things). Others feel adoption is a calling not unlike a religious calling, and that people will respond to that call financially.

I believe there is some info in the FAQs about ways to handle adoption fees. They can range from grants, loans, second jobs, to other fundraisers. Some agencies charge on a sliding scale based on income, others have low fees outright. Some people choose independent adoption to cut down on fees, while others use non-agency avenues.

MileHighMaam · February 2014

Fundraising is really a personal choice. I personally am not a fan of it, and we did not start to pursue adoption until we had a sizable chunk set aside to cover the costs. We are doing foster to adopt which does have much lower fees but when we started saving we weren't sure what the actual costs would be.

If you do fundraising are you willing to forgo things like vacations, eating out, new cars, new clothes, etc during the time period. Many will judge people that do fundraising but then continue to spend money on "luxuries" it can be seen as having people fund your lifestyle as opposed to funding your adoption.

I have also heard some say that expenses related to childbirth can be just as much as costs for adoption and people generally don't do fundraising for that.

It will depend on your level of comfort and your social circle.

hey_its_jenn · February 2014

I don't mind fundraising in some of the situations that @Dr.Loretta suggested (etsy store, yard sale, spaghetti dinner, etc). But I would have a very, very hard time asking for money outright. But you have to do what's right.

Friends of ours took our a bank loan for adoption. Seems crazy but it works for them.

maryoosa · February 2014

It's a really personal choice--- that said, It's a choice we did not make. We saved for three years, and took loans out against our retirement. I personally would not contribute to someone's adoption fundraiser.

CruisenBride06 · February 2014

Thanks for the feedback! I have already started an etsy shop, which is picking up (yay!) so I'm definitely going to keep plugging away at that. We were thinking about something along the lines of a spagetti dinner type of thing, if we did decide to go that route. We have a pretty large friend and family base and I do think people would want to come out to support us, I just don't know how comfortable I am with it - my husband is all about it. We are extremely frugle people so not worried about giving up eating out, new clothes etc, since we don't do that anyway! Honestly, its the fertility treatments that have wiped us out (like many people), we were 100% OOP. If I knew then what I know now, I would've just kept the money towards an adoption fund

lorifromwi · February 2014

@CruisenBride06...can you share the link to your etsy shop? (or is that forbidden in the board rules).

mysticl · February 2014

You should also check the laws on fundraising where you live. Some states are pretty strict about who is allowed to "fundraise" and solicit donations. An Etsy shop won't get you in trouble because it is a business but make sure you research other options before you do them.

CruisenBride06 · February 2014

mysticl said:

You should also check the laws on fundraising where you live. Some states are pretty strict about who is allowed to "fundraise" and solicit donations. An Etsy shop won't get you in trouble because it is a business but make sure you research other options before you do them.

Thanks, will do! This would be something we would host in our backyard, so not sure if that matters but I will check it out to be sure

CruisenBride06 · February 2014

lorifromwi said:

@CruisenBride06...can you share the link to your etsy shop? (or is that forbidden in the board rules).

I have no idea... I will PM you just in case

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