Can we do one of these? It's been a while and I need to vent a little.
We were doing better for a little bit. I know I'm stressed from all the crap at work and have been bringing it home and I hate that, but he'd been dealing with it alright. It helps that he's been so busy at work I have hardly seen him, it was to the point where he schedule something for Valentine's night and I wouldn't have been able to see him. I asked him to move it and he threw a fit about it, but then did. That's the problem lately, MH is acting like a teenage girl with throwing fits over the most random things. Last night we were cuddling on the big chair and he was trying to bargain to get some of a treat I had (he'd already eaten all of his a few days ago). We'd just noticed the cat had thrown up in the other room and I said he could have some if he cleaned it up and he threw a fit. Like he decided he was going to get his pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch, just for my suggestion, and he did. It went downhill from there, with him saying she's my cat so I should have to clean up everything from her. Well, I do that, and his dog's messes, and everything else in the house, and so I suggested we clean it up together. Apparently that is unacceptable too, and it hit on my stubborn streak that if he's going to be such an ass over a little cat puke, I can do that too. He did end up coming to bed, but he wouldn't talk to me, and this morning only talked enough to me this morning to get Charlie ready for the day. I really think he needs to talk to a psychiatrist because of these freak outs over nothing, but everytime I suggest it he says there's nothing wrong and totally blows it off. I hope it's just stress from buying the house, but I really don't need him to be this way on top of what else is already happening.
Anyone else?
Re: Relationship check-in
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
@bellaxanthe I'm sorry he's being like that still, when they just stop trying it feels like there's not much to be done. Like they have to figure things out and then come to you when they're ready. But it's not fair to us either to be left like that, and makes a miserable household. I'm glad he talked with your ILs though, that's scary when the LOs have access to objects that are so dangerous. And as they get taller they're able to get ahold of more things.
@nesenotes I liked yours because of the manstrating, it made me giggle. LOL Did yours end up going in to bed last night or did he bunk on the couch?
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
Married: 5/21/05 **~** Emery Aylin 6/30/12
BFP#1-11/5/10- Surgery for ectopic pregnancy 11/15/10 BFP#2-11/1/11 Due 7/8/12 Born 6/30/12
Oops we did it again... BFP 03/23/14 Due 12/6/14 Nora Born 11/23/14
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.
Our relationship is better depending on when DSD is around or not. Dh mentioned how he thinks I am not attracted to him anymore as I don't hug and kiss him enough, so since then I ensure I put a bit more effort into affection.
But our big fights come to DSD and the weekends she is with us, as it is hard, like last weekend her and I had a fight as she is trying to get away with having us drive her back to places that we just came from, and I said no, she can come with us and we will drop her off on the way, but she didn't like that, she wanted us to go do what we had to do, come back get her and drive her back to where we just were. She was so mad she unfriended and blocked me on facebook (I just laughed...teenagers).
The thing now is...I know she also went through our closets when we were out of the house this weekend as everything in my closet was not put away neatly and DH even asked if I was looking for something in his closet as his boxes were all opened and letters were sticking out, I told him no, that maybe one of the kids (he first blames it on DS, who I know doesn't have the initiative to do something like that or would have left the stool in the closet as he is too lazy to move it), then I said maybe it was DSD, he is in soo much denial that she could do anything wrong that he quickly turns it to, someone must have been in the house, look to see if anything is stolen. He won't admit it could be her, he is even going as far as making sure my closet door is shut at all time, he put a lock on the outside of the door, and this morning he told he thinks there is someone living in our attic, who else would mess up the closets like that, I mentioned her again, and then he says, why would she do that she has no reason (I just say to myself, yeah she does....like money), I just shook my head when he said he is going to go up there tonight to "check", and that I am going to owe him an apology when he proves it is someone living in our attic, again cue head shake.
Now she wants to do one week on one week off, I am not a fan of that, as it is too much uncertainty for the other kids in the house, plus I like the Zenness we have right now, there is no fighting, nastiness, or miserable hermit living in the 4th bedroom. The 4 of us do alot of things together and have a great time doing so, when she is around, she never wants to do anything and when she does it ends up her calling DS names, giving me dirty looks, tell DH off, telling Becca to shut up, and DH and I fighting over her meanness.
@potatoe6 I can't imagine having an older child in the mix, especially one who is at the point where they aren't recognizing authority. It sounds like YH is trying to see her in the best light, does he feel guilty for the birth mom and him not being together still for the SD? I have no advice for this, but anytime you need to vent or talk we're here. And I'm always open for a PM if you don't want to put it in a public forum.
@Barefoot84 I'm so glad it's going well with you and YH! It's nice to hear people who have reached the light at the end of the tunnel. :-)
Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child's world and thus a world event.