What is the best/worst thing your MIL or Mom said to you during/after you were pregnant?

ExcitedAunt2b · February 2014

I got an email from the bump today that had "the worst thing your MIL said to you" and some were funny, some were bad! So, what's the wost or best thing you heard while you were pregnant or after you had delivered?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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minervacullen · February 2014

Mil and FIL insisted that inactivity during pregnancy causes the baby to be deformed. #-o
My mom thinks breast feeding is gross and to this day lets me know.

raraavis28 · February 2014

MIL couldn't seem to stop talking about how huge my belly was (yeah, I was carrying two babies, and I was all out front....get over it). That, and after every Dr's apt she would ask how much weight I'd gained....once I had gained 25 lbs by 20 weeks I stopped telling her, but then she teased me about that. :-P She's totally a "stats" person, though...like every time the babies have a checkup she asks how much they weigh too....and then goes on about how N needs to "catch up" to L (but then she'll go on about how "L has a big belly"). Whatever....the weight fixation annoys me, though.

JessAnnJ · February 2014

This was said by my dad, but it is really the only thing that sticks out in my mind so I'll throw it out there. My dad basically commented how lucky my SIL is and how lucky my mom was to be able to SAH. How glad he is about that. It basically made me feel like the reject because I went back to work. My SIL was working part time at a retail store before having her first and my mom was 21 when she had me and started school after I was born but quit when she had my sister. I am an attorney so it's not really the same in terms of deciding if I was going back to work.

jsoubel · February 2014

My MIL made multiple gross comments about how large her breasts got, too, @j3nnyb! I believe melons were mentioned. Sick. And her sister asked me, @JessAnnJ, if I was going to stay home. I had just made partner at my law firm! When I said, No, she was very judgmental about it.

The nicest thing my mom said was that I was doing a good job. I really need to hear that some days.

*LrCg* · February 2014

My mother knowing I battled an eating disorder a decade prior threw it in my face and gave me a hard time that I asked to borrow some of her size 6 pants the day after birth because my maternity pants were too big and my regular jeans didn't fit yet. I was very nervous that I'd have eating issues during and or after my pregnancy and thankfully I did not but that in my opnion was awful for her to do.

SingleMom31 · February 2014

My labor and delivery was horrible (25 hours, then 2 pushing, a vacuum delivery as a last attempt to avoid an emergency c-section, a complicated repair job bc I tore so badly, and them being concerned about baby for a bit when she came out since it was such a tough delivery). After all that, DH took a picture of the hospital certificate that they gave us with her stats and posted it to FB. Long story short, my immediate family decided that that wasn't an okay way of sharing news, so I got a message (while they were still stitching) from my mom about how mad she was that she didn't get a personal phone call. She also threw in something about how she hopes my daughter shows me more respect than I show her. It really made me sad/mad and I don't think I called until the next day. She and I have always had a rocky relationship though.

raraavis28 · February 2014

@*LrCg* Totally wrong! I also dealt w/ an ED before becoming a mom....actually being able to gain enough weight to carry, deliver, and nourish two healthy babies was an enormous victory for me....so that also added to my annoyance at MIL fixating on my weight (though at least she didn't know about my past so I could brush it off more easily). I can't imagine my mom doing that to me.

@SingleMom31... WTAF? Who badgers a woman who just had a baby?? Then again, I recall your mom giving you some grief w/ your wedding planning, so it doesn't seem too out of character. I'm sorry you had to deal w/ that.

Fullcircle06 · February 2014

@singlemom31, my labor and delivery were very similar. It was awful!

I didn't get too much compared to some of your stories, but I do remember my mom telling me to "try not to get too big" at one point and to watch my sodium intake b/c that would make me swell. Oh ok, thanks.

nanabanana06 · February 2014

Ok, I will preface this a bit. My MIL is a bit nuts. She thinks that the sex of babies is something that is passed down. So, she think that since her ex's parents (my SO's grandparents) had a boy first then a girl, then FIL and MIL had a girl then a boy, that myself and my SIL are destined to have a boy and then a girl. So, essentially it's all just coincidence. We'll see if I prove her wrong next time I or SIL have kids.

Anyways, knowing that she thinks this and that I had a miscarriage before my pregnancy. We had a conversation while putting together furniture. We were talking about SIL's baby and her theory on the sex. She literally said "Well, I guess we'll never know it's true since we didn't know what the last baby was". Thanks MIL for being an insensitive twat.

MrsBigTime · February 2014

j3nnyb said:

But why she would assume it would be ok to tell me that she never had a problem with supply and she could've fed a country while I'm desperately trying everything to make sure my newborn DD doesn't starve felt a bit insensitive.

My MIL used different words, but said the same thing!

She came to visit shortly after I had been back at work and I was really struggling with my supply. So, not only was I feeling awful about having to leave my tiny baby all day long, I was dealing with barely having enough milk for her - enter MIL and her incessant stories about how she had so much milk and how she just told my FIL "I'm not going to work" and just like that, didn't. What I wanted to scream at her was that I was only working full-time because I was putting her son through school (even though they promised to pay for it, but never did!)! I've never received any kind of appreciation for working and putting DH through school, all I've ever heard is that she feels sorry for any mom who has to leave her babies and that she tells all new moms that they should quit their jobs to be home with their kids, "because they are only babies for a little while and you don't want to miss anything!" Thanks MIL, got it!

Oh, the icing on the cake was when she icily told me that she WAS going to watch my baby and that I could "leave or go clean." Needless to say, my sweet baby and I spent the afternoon together hiding upstairs, and I neither left nor cleaned anything.

~X( ~X(

jsoubel · February 2014

@Nana_Osaki06 - a little off topic, but what is up with that shorty cat in your signature? Don't know why my text is underlined either.....

nanabanana06 · February 2014

@Jsoubel It's a munchkin cat. It's a special breed of cat that has dwarfism. So, essentially the corgi or the cat world. I like them, I want one to match my corgi.

jsoubel · February 2014

Nana_Osaki06 said:

@Jsoubel It's a munchkin cat. It's a special breed of cat that has dwarfism. So, essentially the corgi or the cat world. I like them, I want one to match my corgi.

Too cute! If you get one, you have post pics:)

Addy1227 · February 2014

This is probably the worst thing my fMIL said but it wasn't to me. I might have even vented about it on here but I don't remember. When I was pushing she kept walking back and forth to my door and would try to listen through the door. Then she'd go back and tell my family that she thinks I had the baby but she couldn't hear him or me, completely freaking my family out and then to top it all off, after she's told my family that me or LO aren't making any noise she goes oh I hope Willy is okay as if he had just pushed out a nearly 10 lb baby! My father wanted to kill her and my mom barged in the room shortly after.

Another thing was when we found out the sex. It wasn't my fMIL but my sister. I hadn't told anyone besides one of my sisters and my mom. My sister sent out a mass text and then I get this huge long text from my oldest sister saying how inconsiderate I was that she found out from someone else and that she's felt left out for awhile and she's tired of it and a bunch of other stuff making me feel horrible about the whole situation. It should have been a happy day but by the end of the day both SO and I were in tears over something that happened with family.

nanabanana06 · February 2014

jsoubel said:

Nana_Osaki06 said:

@Jsoubel It's a munchkin cat. It's a special breed of cat that has dwarfism. So, essentially the corgi or the cat world. I like them, I want one to match my corgi.

Too cute! If you get one, you have post pics:)

We won't get one for a while. We have 2 cats already and we got our puppy almost a year ago. I could give you pics of our Corgi though :P.

SingleMom31 · February 2014

@addy1227 - Oh my, it's a good thing that it was your dad instead of mine... Mine would have actually gone off on her.

jac409 · February 2014

My MIL was generally great, until she insisted that I sleep train my three day old LO, letting her cry it out. She insisted that she would learn to sleep in her crib if I trained her to do so. At three days old. We had words about that one. Then she insisted that I start adding cereal to her bottles at three weeks old to get her to sleep through the night. Um, ok. Other than that, she has been very good. I just have to ignore some of the old fashioned advice she likes to give.

kescalera · February 2014

Mine came from my SIL (since we weren't actually speaking with DH's parents during my entire pregnancy - actually the pregnancy was right in the middle of a glorious 3 years of no contact with them *sigh* the good old days...) when I ran into her in the pet store. She asked about my delivery room plans and was furious at me because I told her DH and I didn't want any 'visitors' in the hospital, just the two of us during delivery. She went off on me about how dare I refuse to allow SS(then 10) in the room when "his little brother" was being born. I told her it was ridiculous to think that any 10 year old boy would want to have anything to do with watching his stepmother's hoo-ha push out a baby. She went on to tell me how she & my other SIL had their kids in the room as well as the rest of the family. I said that was nice but for our comfort and family bonding time, we just wanted our close family, SS was going to be the only other person allowed, once DS and I had recovered. She said I was being a horrible wife not forcing DH to invite his parents & family to be there, a horrible person for trying to come between DH and SS, and on and on.

A few days after we brought DS home she & her crazy, demon children came over & she pulled DH aside to tell him a bunch of lies about how I'd emailed my MIL & said she & FIL would never be allowed to see their grandkids & they weren't allowed in my house, blah blah blah. She told DH that I was obviously trying to come between him and the people who 'really' loved him and that he should leave me & take DS.

I have never forgiven her and she keeps doing stupid little two-faced things that make me so glad we have the distance (physically & emotionally) from DH's family that we do. I would be in jail for multiple homicides if I had to put up with their crap.

perfectlove09 · February 2014

Oh my god. Some of these stories are making me cringe! I remember seeing some of them before too, they are horrible.
I hate hearing stories too about not getting support for breast feeding.

My MIL was pretty good. I can't really complain, she does a lot for us. I'm sure there were things that irritated me.

I have a few weird stories from coworkers though... One day my marketing director was introducing me to my bosses 16 year old son. I was 7 months pregnant "She's usually much more trim..." WHAT? My mistake was telling my partner (work partner) because then everyone that walked in the door he would throw that out there as a joke and I had to keep reminding him that they didn't understand why he was saying that and it was making him look like an ass!

Same work partner once said "tell me you're going to breastfeed that baby when you have it!" "yes, of course I am" "Good. Well...just don't do it for years" ..... FU

Same partner asked me twice "So how much have you gained now?" yeah...this guy still has no filter. He also asked me after he met her "when are you going to bring your fat baby back around?" And "IS THAT ALL FROM BREAST MILK?!"

....why is this guy still working here?

SebsMum · February 2014

I have been so lucky! Both my mom and my MIL admitted to me in the first few weeks that they wanted to toss me/DH out the window during the middle of night screaming sessions and to not worry about doing anything while looking after a newborn. Both say how well we're doing and are super supportive.
The only little niggle with my MIL is that she's corrected my accent to DS (she's English) like after I've said tomato, she'll say, "Oh yes, try some tom-ahhhto". I asked her to never do that again and she hasn't (in front of me at least) so I hope that's the end of that!

Oh, and I did have a French friend come up and tickle/flick my outy belly button toward the end of my pregnancy- that felt creepy, like she was playing with my nipple or something!

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