Calling other parents of 3.5 year old assholes

ASmallWonder · February 2014

I'm just not sure what to do here. He's smart in a way that often translates into manipulation and him being a total smart ass and he has somehow gotten the impression that he can do whatever the fuck he pleases aka he's 3.5 (right? My kid isn't totally unlike his peers, is he?) I just want to parent it the right way. What REALLY bothers me is that daycare told me he's been teasing friends. I clarified that it's not mocking their appearance or intelligence but more that he'll try to upset them. Things like telling a little girl her mom wasn't going to come and get her at the end of the day until the girl cried. Today the note said he spit on a friend. Now, not to sound like I'm defending him but I want to understand if he blew a raspberry in her face (NOT cool) or like SPIT on her, kwim? Am I delusional to think it matters a little? We obviously had a long talk about how that is NEVER ok.

I feel like he's a good kid who pushes his limits and doesn't seem to care much about many consequences. For example, tonight he was not allowed to watch a show when we got home. He dramatically got upset for about a minute but was fine after that. Do I trust that it's resonating with him? We talk constantly about having a great day and what it means to have a great day. He absolutely knows what makes a great day but fails at the execution. Not every day, not even close. I guess I'm just having that "OMG I'm so embarrassed I have the shitty kid" feeling today

nanabanana06 · February 2014

I got nothing. We're also battling the 3 monster. All I know is have all the drinks.

SummerSnow11 · February 2014

I don't have advice, but I do have ((hugs)).

FrickandFrack · February 2014

Yeah, 3 sucks. 4 is a little better and I've heard 5 is much better. ::crosses fingers::

ASmallWonder · February 2014

JerseySprouts said:

I don't have a 3.5 yo yet but I think understanding what they mean by spiting affects how you handle it. I hope it's just a phase. How do they handout at school? Have you talked about the teasing specifically?

Beyond offer hugs and wine.

I only see his regular teacher at drop off so I only have her note to go by until I see her tomorrow (if it doesn't snow), which is part of the issue because I can't always effectively address it the day it happens. Like the teasing thing. The note yesterday just said he was teasing friends so when I asked him if he was making fun of someone, he said no and he was right because I wasn't talking about it in the right context. I think the way the note was written wasn't clear because yes, he was trying to upset her in a teasing way but when I hear "teasing" my mind goes to cruelty about someone's looks or abilities, kwim?

LovestheLou · February 2014

Sounds pretty much like my son. My only advice is put him to bed and drink all the wine. So far we haven't come up with anything that really works.

DreadLoc · February 2014

three year olds are assholes. jerks. threenagers. ugh.

the best we can do is try to steer them away from that direction and you did that by talking with him (but don't expect it to be the last talk).

so go you, elmoali. have a goddamn drink.

Mrs.adambabycakes · February 2014

Here, checking in.

Mrs.adambabycakes · February 2014

@jerseysprouts teaching dogs is way easier.

jorkz821 · February 2014

Mrs.adambabycakes said:
@jerseysprouts teaching dogs is way easier.

Right? At least my almost 3 yo doesn't eat poopsicles though.

taggiecb · February 2014

All I can say is sorry. Mav turned 3 and the switch flipped. He couldn't care less about what any of us says. He's got an "I do what I want" attitude. I think what they feel like doing (your son wanted to spit, mine wanted to dump all his brothers' LEGO on the floor) varies, but the end result is the same. Changing their mind is like moving the great wall of China an inch to the left.

LovestheLou · February 2014

Is it a boy thing? I swear my oldest wasn't this bad. Maybe I just blocked it out.

msdrdg · February 2014

3yos are assholes.
Mine apparently thinks he is the boss of his daycare. The other day he decided that he didn't have to clean up, but the other children did and he was yelling at them about it. When I was trying to talk to him about it later he told me that he yelled at them because "N made me mad, he had to clean up home living and he wasn't doing it." I couldn't make him understand that he was supposed to clean too and that yelling at his friend wasn't nice.

TheBub · February 2014

Three and four are kind of the worst, but five was like a magic switch flipped.

Last night, DD ragey, scream cried for an hour because she wasn't hungry for dinner, just hungry for a poptart. She eventually ate most of a grilled cheese, so I have her a little part of a poptart.

ASmallWonder · February 2014

As usual, you've helped me realize that I'm not ruining my kid and he's pretty much just 3.5. But you all know how much it sucks to feel like your kid is fucking up the whole daycare and they think you're failing at parenting lol

seahorse102410 · February 2014

Yes mine embarrassed me SO bad at daycare the other day! He hit me and the director saw and said something to him. So he yelled at her to "stop it!" I died of embarrassment and cried on the way to work. I am hoping that they just grow out of this and it won't get any worse if we stay on top of it.

nancy30005 · February 2014

Ugh. I'm with y'all. You have my sympathies and I'll share my booze. I keep hearing four is better.
(((hugs)))

angelashly · February 2014

3 is making the newborn stage seem easy to me. All my sorries mama

EVA116 · February 2014

My soon to be 3 year decided that hitting is a cool thing to do now. WTF! If you head butt me or hit me one more time. She thinks because she does it soft that it is okay.

EVA116 · February 2014

and the repeating is driving me nuts.

flyingsaucer · February 2014

It all sounds normal to me! I have to tell you, my now 6 year old was tough at 3. He was a hitter, biter, pincher and spitter at preschool! I am happy to report that he is in Kindergarten and doing really well. He is a sweet kid and has learned to control himself, most of the time (he is still total high energy and we have found that sports really help him channel his energy). Hang in there. Set limits, be consistent. But he is 3. Remind his teachers that while you are working on this at home, it IS still developmentally appropriate. GL

ASmallWonder · February 2014

Jesus fucking Christ. He was only there 7-12:30 today and had two timeouts. One for wrecking a kid's puzzle and another for punching a kid in the stomach. WTAF?

I want to cry. That kid is actually one of his very best friends (not that if he wasn't it would be ok but I REALLY don't understand what's motivating him to behave this way). I feel like I want to crawl in a hole.

FalconCrest · February 2014

My 3.5 year old is also being a total asshole lately. I dread picking him up fro school because they always have something negative to say about his day. Hugs to you. You are not alone.

EVA116 · February 2014

My kid refused to participate in the Valentine's Day activites. She just wanted to play and kept saying "All done" "NO thank you!"

Geeze kid the whole reason you went was to have fun at the party. She was all excited about it last night.

LoveActually4 · February 2014

I keep typing out responses and deleting them because my 3 year old can be so frustrating lately it's hard to talk about.

Then, sometimes out of nowhere, he's back to his normal self. I start feeling good and when I least expect it he goes crazy again.

Madness ::shakes head::

EMOmamma · February 2014

I'm pretty sure my kid is the Incredible Hulk. One minute smart and normal, the next is like 'roid rage. He will hug me then pinch my arm, just to see what'll happen. And lately he's even been trying to lie.

Unknown · February 2014

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ASmallWonder · February 2014

EMOmamma said:

I'm pretty sure my kid is the Incredible Hulk. One minute smart and normal, the next is like 'roid rage. He will hug me then pinch my arm, just to see what'll happen. And lately he's even been trying to lie.

Do you mean the younger one or the older one? If it's the older one, you're lucky. Mine mastered lying months ago :-/

TunaTown · February 2014

elmoali

But I did travel to the future and found your LO acting Like A Boss

TunaTown · February 2014

TunaTown · February 2014

Bump Burp

ASmallWonder · February 2014

TunaTown said:

elmoali
But I did travel to the future and found your LO acting Like A Boss

Please baby Jesus NOOO!

EMOmamma · February 2014

elmoali said:

EMOmamma said:

I'm pretty sure my kid is the Incredible Hulk. One minute smart and normal, the next is like 'roid rage. He will hug me then pinch my arm, just to see what'll happen. And lately he's even been trying to lie.

Do you mean the younger one or the older one? If it's the older one, you're lucky. Mine mastered lying months ago :-/

The older one, I think he's a bit younger than yours (3&3months)
But the 21month old is so dramatic already, I'm dreading her 3's.

lildevil968 · February 2014

No advice here, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. DS is almost 4, and there still is no light at the end of our tunnel ~X(

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