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One toddler twin not sleeping well

alindtalindt member
in Multiples
One of my 2-year-old girls has trouble self-soothing. She wakes up once, twice, sometimes 3x a night and just cries out. She usually has everything she needs (her snuggle bear, binky, water), but it's like she can't just go back to sleep until either DH or I go in there and give her a hug and lay her back down. She shares a room with her sister, but they sleep in different cribs. Her sister is a GREAT sleeper and usually sleeps right through her crying. Our parent educator suggested that we need to break her habit, and let her cry it out, because she now thinks of it as her routine -- wake up in the middle of the night, cry, and mommy or daddy will come to put me back to sleep. The reason we started going in there in the first place was that we were afraid the whole household would wake up (her sister in the same room, plus big brother, who is 3 1/2, in the room next door). I have tried CIO to some degree, like when she does a crying fit when being put to bed, but after 15, 20 minutes have to go in there because she is so upset she is gasping and is shaking by the time I go in there. And her sister in the crib next to her is sitting there going "Loud, sissy, stop!" or she is sound asleep sometimes. I am afraid that if I truly let her CIO she won't ever stop! 20 minutes is a long time, IMO, I never had to do that long with DS.

I want to try CIO (and really commit to it), but our physician said it is just a phase and we should go to her, give her a hug and lay her down. She did not recommend CIO.

Anyone have a similar experience with one twin not sleeping well in the same room as the other? We don't have another bedroom so I can't separate them. This is really getting ridiculous, like we have newborns all over again. We need some good sleep and right now it's rare that we get a night where she doesn't wake us up at least once!

Should I try CIO in the same room? Or should I ride it out and see if she gets over this phase. 

TIA!
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Re: One toddler twin not sleeping well

  • YlvelillYlvelill member
    My advise is always to check after 5 min, they won't feel abandoned but don't engage. Just go in, tuck them back into bed and remind them it is time to sleep.

    You have to stick it out though, it might take a few nights of fighting but if she knows she won't get cuddle time or a midnight party she will start to sleep longer.

    I am not a fan of just letting them. Ru until they stop, I want them to know I am still there if they need me, that I will come if they call.
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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member
    edited February 2014
    Yes, we've dealt with that off and on (right down to the soundly sleeping sister and the big brother next door). I generally am a proponent of controlled CIO, but it truly didn't work for my difficult sleeper. Like your daughter, she would get so worked up and not be able to calm herself down. I never did long periods of CIO with her, because it would've just made things worse.

    I agree with your doctor. It is likely just a phase and if she goes back to sleep after a quick hug, keep doing that. We did the same and she's been sleeping very well for the past few months. Hang in there, I know it's tough. Hopefully this phase is a short one.
    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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