TRH - Fostering

dliz87 · February 2014

The first in a series of random thoughts and discussions in the Train Ride Home (TRH) series.

There's a service dog on my train. He's gorgeous and so sweet. He's still in training, so his "owner" will eventually give him away.

Could you see yourself fostering? Animal or child (and I'm not trying to put them in the same boat, just trying to cover the spectrum)? I believe that we could open our hearts and our home to a child who needed us, but I can't imagine being able to do that for a definite rather than indefinite amount of time. What about you?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

I've thought about both and I don't think I'm strong enough to give either away after bonding. That makes me sound weak and selfish but whatever.

Bmore721 · February 2014

I have always wanted to foster a child, but DH is not on board.

Erinm278 · February 2014

I don't know if is be able to foster but I would live to adoot..a child and a pet!

DH and I actually discussed adoption today. We'd love to have another biological child and then look into adoption. It sounds cheesy but I feel drawn to adoption, like it's something I'm meant to do.

dliz87 · February 2014

Asbromle said:
I've thought about both and I don't think I'm strong enough to give either away after bonding. That makes me sound weak and selfish but whatever.

Same exact feelings. And I don't think you are weak. I think you're honest and that shows strength.

fabk · February 2014

As much as I would love to do either there is no way. I wouldn't be able to give them up.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

@Erinm278 we're considering adoption, too

LauraB1016 · February 2014

First PSA if you are interested in learning some more about being a foster or adoptive parent (for children) I would be more then happy to discuss with someone some aspects of it! That is what I do!

Personally, I think that I would have the ability to be able to be emotionally attached and then be able to separate when a child returned home or went to a biological home. I would probably only do it once my own children are a bit older teens or young adults. Though my husband is not on board and will probably never be.

MRads · February 2014

I have no desire to foster pets and I don't think I could foster a kid. Close family friends fostered kids. We grew up with their foster kids. It broke my heart when the foster kids left. I can't imagine how it felt for the foster parents.

I would like to adopt.

Erinm278 · February 2014

Asbromle said:
@Erinm278 we're considering adoption, too

DH has always wanted to adoot. We have decided to start researching it and start the application process. I know it can take quite a long time, but I feel like the child that's meant for us will find us if we have our application in place.

Stina2012 · February 2014

Can I ask, why would foster kids leave? I'm not familiar with the system so I don't know the circumstances.

If we did anything pet wise, we'd adopt. I love, love dogs and we got our sweet pup from a rescue. If we tried to foster I know we'd just keep them!

I haven't thought about adopting children. A former co worker just adopted and I was sooooo happy for her. But I'm also not ready to think about more kids! I have so much respect for those who can muster the patience and faith for the adoption process.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

Erinm278 said:

@Erinm278 we're considering adoption, too
DH has always wanted to adoot. We have decided to start researching it and start the application process. I know it can take quite a long time, but I feel like the child that's meant for us will find us if we have our application in place.

We've talked about it since we met but only seriously started discussing it recently. I'm not quite ready to raise 3 children

my SO has always wanted to adopt, too.

LauraB1016 · February 2014

@stina2012 foster care is meant to be a temporary safe placement for child while there parents work on some of the barriers and issues that brought the children into care (housing, employment, drug use etc). Children can leave for various reasons one could be to return to the care of the biological parents, or to the care of a relative (a lot of states are pushing for more foster care placements to be with relatives) or a child could leave who is being adopted (if you were not able or interested in adoption)

Eta. My first post did actually post.

yelyah4826 · February 2014

Stina2012 said:
Can I ask, why would foster kids leave? I'm not familiar with the system so I don't know the circumstances.

If we did anything pet wise, we'd adopt. I love, love dogs and we got our sweet pup from a rescue. If we tried to foster I know we'd just keep them!

I haven't thought about adopting children. A former co worker just adopted and I was sooooo happy for her. But I'm also not ready to think about more kids! I have so much respect for those who can muster the patience and faith for the adoption process.

Sometimes kids are put in temporary foster care while their family is figuring things out (ie they were taken from them say due to drugs or domestic violence) I'm not sure on the exact ins and outs but If the parent gets themselves together the court can grant them custody of the child again. Or sometimes kids are fostered out until they find adoptive parents.

martyn17 · February 2014

When I was little my parents let our cat have kittens and we kept the kittens until we found them good homes. The cat we adopted but in retrospect it could be considered irresponsible to let the cat have kittens. However it's a cherished childhood memory. I would love to adopt a young pregnant cat and foster it's kittens until they find homes. Maybe when T is around 4 years old so she's old enough to remember it.

I have thought a lot about fostering or adopting a child. I think I'd like to have another biological child and then someday foster or adopt an older child. I was doubtful I'd be able to get pregnant and definitely wanted to adopt if I wasn't able to get pregnant.

queenbone · February 2014

I was thinking about fostering children just this morning! I would want to wait until DD was in school full time. My main concerns are 1) how hard would that be for my permanent children when the foster sister/brother gets reunited with family OR someone else gets to adopt them? 2) My children don't go to public school. Would their school offer scholarships/tuition assistance to a child in the foster care system? I would think it would feel pretty awful to go to a different school than your foster siblings. 3) Can I really handle saying goodbye to a child?

I have zero interest in fostering animals.

MagickalNarwhal · February 2014

We fostered dogs for a breed-specific rescue for a few years. We actually just ended up with another foster dog on New Year's Eve but it wasn't through a formal rescue and we didn't realize the scope of it so she went to another foster family this weekend.

Definitely would like to foster kids too. After we had our son we decided not to pursue infant adoption again but to foster and, well, if one stuck around, great

Now with 2 kids we feel we have reached the max number of perm family members but we are both very interested in fostering once the kids are in school if it works out.

Stacey099 · February 2014

I've done a ton of cat and some dog fostering ovrr the years. Once we own a home I'd love to do it again.
Fostering children would be difficult but I'd love to learn more some day.

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