Pity party

abbyful · February 2014

I just want to have another baby, why is that so much to ask?! I want DS to have a sibling close to his age.

I had a miscarriage a few months ago, this was our first month of TTC again and no dice. (Which logically I expected it probably wouldn't happen the first month, but I took it harder than I thought I would.)

I know THREE people that are all due within about 2 weeks of when I should have been. (1 family member & 2 friends.) They are a now finding out their baby's gender, which is a reminder that we should have been doing the same right about now.

And my SIL just found out yesterday that she's pregnant her first month trying. I'm excited and happy for her, but it still stings a little that I'm not.

I just want to freaking get KTFU. I know I'm not the only woman to ever miscarry, and I should count my blessings that the 2 times I've been pregnant happened fairly quickly, but damnit I want it to happen NOW. I originally wanted 2 under 2, I wanted to get KTFU when DS was around 9 months old but AF didn't even return until he was 12 months. Now I'm already 6-9 months behind the timing I thought we would be on.

I'm just feeling extra sad about this tonight. I want another baby.

SJandVA · February 2014

Aww! I'm sorry. I hope you and all the other moms on the board who are trying will get babies soon.

Jeffreysmom24 · February 2014

I am right there with you! I had 2 chemical pregnancies last year and have been seeing a fertility doctor and taking Clomid and other medications but no luck. Ugh it is heartbreaking because I really want Jeffrey to have a sibling.

anyway you are not alone!

abbyful · February 2014

@ginabina11 & @Jeffreysmom24

((hugs)) Fingers crossed we all get our sticky babies soon!

shakinros · February 2014

I'm sorry.

I hope this month is the one!

mindymaske · February 2014

I know you are wanting to have your kiddos close together, but on the bright side... there are some perks to them being a little more spread apart.
Good luck, hope it happens for you soon and you have a sticky baby

Toni79 · February 2014

Can I join your pitty party??? I'll bring some virtual wine!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone! I understand the frustration and heartache every time another month goes by with a BFN!

It took us 3 years to get KU with DD and that was after 3 cycles of clomid, 3 IUIs, and 3 failed IVFs. My AF returned around 9 months PP and we haven't been preventing since ... just hoping that maybe it will happen on its own, and we won't have to go through IVF again. Its been 9 months and no luck. I've been activly charting the last 3 months hoping that will help. But soo far it hasn't. We met with our fertiity doctor about 2 weeks ago, and he wants me to wean completly before we go through another treatment. DD is down to 2-3 times a day. So, I'm struggling with what to do. I want another baby, but I feel bad weaning DD before she and I are ready - espchally if we aren't able to have another LO, I'll regret not letting DD wean on her own.

Its really hard when friends and family announce thier pregnancies. I want to be happy for them, but usually I have alot of resent. Why them? Why not me? Even when I was pregant or when DD was very young and we weren't even trying, I was still upset when people announced thier pregnancies. I guess its something that isn't going to go away overnight.

Good luck! Hey! You drank all my virtual wine!

MoFree · February 2014

I'm very sorry about your m/c and not being pregnant now. However TTC for more than one cycle is the norm since statistically even fertile couples have a 20% chance of success on any cycle. I hope this doesn't sound bitchy but there is a world of difference between infertility, where a couple require medical intervention of varying intensity to conceive or carry to term, and impatience because it didn't happen the first month.
Best wishes to you and your DH.

abbyful · February 2014

MoFree said:

I'm very sorry about your m/c and not being pregnant now. However TTC for more than one cycle is the norm since statistically even fertile couples have a 20% chance of success on any cycle. I hope this doesn't sound bitchy but there is a world of difference between infertility, where a couple require medical intervention of varying intensity to conceive or carry to term, and impatience because it didn't happen the first month. Best wishes to you and your DH.

Oh no, I know there's a huge difference, my heart definitely goes out to those having trouble TTC. And I know even for healthy couples with no fertility problems, 6+ months to concieve is still considered normal. I was just venting about being bummed at all the reminders the past couple weeks. I wasn't trying to have a contest of "who has it worse".

abbyful · February 2014

I just wanted to write an update/apology that my vent could have come off as insensitive to those those struggling with TTC. I wasn't intending this to come off as a vent about not being KTFU our first month trying again, and I was confused at first why @MoFree was talking about infertility when I was trying to talk about miscarriage (and I initially misinterpreted her reply as being about people shouldn't be upset about miscarriage because other people are infertile), but coming back and re-reading what I wrote, I understand how my phrasing could have been better. I was intending to vent about being reminded about my miscarriage by my friends and family that are due the same month I was supposed to be; that it's a real-time reminder of exactly the point in pregnancy I would have been, and I was having a bad day missing the baby we lost. I was blinded by my own emotions how my post was coming off. I'm sorry if this came off wrong and was hurtful to anyone.

Jeffreysmom24 · February 2014

I understood where you were coming from before (and can also see how jt may have been construed differently). I am so sorry for your loss. I agree it is hard not to feel like you are falling behind especially when you have friends or family that announce their pregnancy. Whenever it happens with my circle of friends, of course I feel happy for them but there is also that part of me that wonders why I can't get pregnant too? Anyway, I don't really have any good advice but I hope things get better for you!

002994182 · February 2014

As you can all probably tell, I don't post her often. Or ever. But I wanted to post to let you know I totally understood your post and it didn't seem insensitive or whiny. I miscarried once before my son was born. It happened at 6 weeks. There are lots of things you could say about that situation (It was my first time getting pregnant. Lots of women go through multiple miscarriages or trouble conceiving. It was "only" 6 weeks.) But to be honest, it really messed me up, and it messed up my DH too. It's not easy to go through, no matter the circumstances.

Be gentle with yourself. Try to tell yourself that your timeline can be flexible and that not all things go according to our first plan, but that doesn't mean it's the only "good" plan.

Want a personalized experience?

Pity party

Re: Pity party

Choose Another Board

Search Boards