Prenups/Marriage/ Cheating

britvahok · February 2014

SO and I finally set a date to get married in November. We've discussed getting a prenup because we have financial investments with our parents that we wouldn't want to involve the other person in if something were to go wrong. Neither of us are anywhere near being millionaires but we just want to make sure our families are protected.

1. What's your stance on Prenups??? Do you have one why or why not?

2. Are there any circumstances that would cause you to get a divorce??

3. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Would that be an automatic dealbreaker??

Let's hear it ladies!!

britvahok · February 2014

1. Do you have one why or why not? I'm open to the idea of getting a prenup. SO and I have been together for 6 years, I'm not entering this marriage with the thought of ever getting divorced but I can't predict the future and what to make sure my family isn't affected if SO and I divorce.

2. I think you never know what you'd do in a situation until you're actually in it. I can't say that if SO cheated I would 100% pack my bags and immediately leave. Regardless of the situation, I think marriage counseling should be required before a couple with children divorces (how's that for controversy!)

3. I haven't cheated in a serious relationship. I found some shady texts between SO and his ex when we'd only been dating for a few months.

vic8504 · February 2014

1. Prenups - if you have assets that you think are worth making sure they stay yours and only yours no matter what than go for it. DH and I didn't have much to begin with. We were both young and pretty much just out of college when we got married.

2. Cheating or if he does something illegal, ask me this a couple of months ago and I would have added MIL to the list. I have told DH if he cheated he is gone, can take the bed and some other things that we used his money for and leave. And there is no way I am standing next to him if he would do something illegal. I had a friend that was trying to stay with her husband after he got busted for having a meth lab in their basement and some heavy duty drug dealing. DH would be gone. Not being that wife...

3. I have never been cheated on. It would be a deal breaker and this is where a prenup would of benefited DH. I told him if he ever does it and I find out, I am taking as much as I can get. House, boat and a nice monthly child support payment! You don't get all the nice things if you can't keep your pants on outside of the marriage.

NeneCakies · February 2014

Ooh juicy!

Eta: crap I wrote a whole response that disappeared. Poo.

Toni79 · February 2014

1. What's your stance on Prenups??? Do you have one why or why not? We don't have one. We got married right out of college and didn't have any assests! I think if one or both of us had something, we would have considered it.

2. Are there any circumstances that would cause you to get a divorce?? I think the only thing that would lead to that is either cheating or something illegal. I've pretty much told DH he's stuck with me unless he cheats. I could not deal with that! We joke that he is only staying with me out of fear (that I'd kill him if he left). Geeze, this sounds horrible when written out.

3. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Would that be an automatic dealbreaker?? I have never cheated on anyone. But, I had an boyfriend that I was with for 4 years who cheated on me "more times than he could count". Yes, those were his exact words when the truth came out. I was devistated. There was talk of marrage before that. We tried for almost a year to work it out, but it was a dealbreaker for me. I couldn't trust him any more and I deserved better. Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I ever did. I had a very hard time time trusting guys after that. I carried alot of baggage for a long time. When I met DH he had to deal with my baggage for a while. Thankfully that is all my past.

CoUnTryBB1 · February 2014

1. What's your stance on Prenups??? Do you have one why or why not? I am for pre-nups when you have assets that you would want to protect. We are not married so no issue for us. I doubt we will get one becuase I am the only one with assets and they are not big enough for me to stress about at all.

2. Are there any circumstances that would cause you to get a divorce?? I think if he ever did anything to hurt our children then I would have a really hard time with that. That would be worse to me than cheating.

3. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Would that be an automatic dealbreaker?? Yes and yes (both when I was much younger and less mature) It would not but it would be hard to get past and would involve some counseling.

sadeathe · February 2014

1. What's your stance on Prenups??? Do you have one why or why not?

I don't believe in prenups. I think if a person goes into a marriage thinking that a divorce is even a remote possibility that it can undermine the marriage. My husband and I do not have a prenup.

2. Are there any circumstances that would cause you to get a divorce??

Cheating and abuse are two reasons I would get a divorce, but not before we went through major counseling to determine what went wrong.

3. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Would that be an automatic dealbreaker??

I have never cheated or been cheated on. Yes, it would be a definite dealbreaker.

austenfan919 · February 2014

sadeathe said:

1. What's your stance on Prenups??? Do you have one why or why not?

I don't believe in prenups. I think if a person goes into a marriage thinking that a divorce is even a remote possibility that it can undermine the marriage. My husband and I do not have a prenup.

2. Are there any circumstances that would cause you to get a divorce??

Cheating and abuse are two reasons I would get a divorce, but not before we went through major counseling to determine what went wrong.

3. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on? Would that be an automatic dealbreaker??

I have never cheated or been cheated on. Yes, it would be a definite dealbreaker.

Pretty much agree with 1 & 2. Though maybe if I was rich or had important assets, I would have a different perspective on prenups. But it seems bad luck to me to plan a possible future divorce before you even get married.

And #2, cheating and abuse (of me or the kids) are the only reasons I can think of that I would get divorced, but it wouldn't be automatic for either. I would do counseling and try everything I could do get the marriage back on track. That doesn't mean we would live together through all of that, but I would try.

3. Never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of). And it wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker. I think if it was a like years-long affair that came to light, that would be much harder to work through than a one-night thing. But I hope I would try to work on things either way.

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