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May 2014 Moms
IBackBevo
member
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Anyone else feeling depressed?
IBackBevo
member
I have been feeling down lately. I am not sure how much is situational and how much is hormonal. Some things with my husband's business (mainly to get him some help before the new baby comes) have not panned out. I feel like I have no good and affordable options for childcare for 2u2. It seems like my choices are to pay to work or have some 18 yo watching my kids. And I have not been overly happy with my job lately...although that is probably more me than anyone else. (And while I really appreciate the thought, I don't really need suggestions for childcare unless you happen to know someone in Houston who is a nanny. Whatever your suggestion, we have probably tried it or looked into it unfortunately. 
)
I don't feel like I have a whole lot of support for after the baby. Unless he gets someone in his business, he will have almost no time off after baby. My in laws are not overly dependable and when they are around tend to insert themselves into our business. Don't get me wrong, they are good people but I still don't want them coming to stay for long periods of time. My mother is ok for about a week, but she also usually tries to give her two cents on things in a different way. Plus, she is not as mentally sharp as she used to be so it is really like having 2/3 of an extra person to help. And my Dad is like having a teenager in the house.
And it has not helped that my entire house has pretty much been sick for months now.
None of these are major issues...not like death or divorce. Yet i feel bummed. Anyone else feeling down? Or is this just hormones?
)I don't feel like I have a whole lot of support for after the baby. Unless he gets someone in his business, he will have almost no time off after baby. My in laws are not overly dependable and when they are around tend to insert themselves into our business. Don't get me wrong, they are good people but I still don't want them coming to stay for long periods of time. My mother is ok for about a week, but she also usually tries to give her two cents on things in a different way. Plus, she is not as mentally sharp as she used to be so it is really like having 2/3 of an extra person to help. And my Dad is like having a teenager in the house.
And it has not helped that my entire house has pretty much been sick for months now.
None of these are major issues...not like death or divorce. Yet i feel bummed. Anyone else feeling down? Or is this just hormones?
IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else feeling depressed?
You have a lot on your plate - understandable that you feel overwhelmed and down. I've been feeling really overwhelmed with having to move to a different state next month, sell our current house, buy a new house, living with the in-laws in the meantime and having been long distance with DH since September - now DH wants to go back to school (he got a great new job and it will help with his upward mobility to finish his degree) but it's just one more thing to add to the list. I found myself being completely unsuppotive which isn't fair to him. I think these situations would be enough to drive anyone crazy, muchless when we have the added stress of pregnancy and the whoremones that come with it. I'm also not taking anxiety meds that I was on pre-preg so I know that doesn't help. Long story short, no advice but you're not alone. Our issues may not be death or divorce (and we're lucky for that) but it doesn't make them any less real or tough. It's easy to get absorbed in all of the bad things going on, but try to focus on any positives you can find ... hopefully everything will work out!!
ETA: wording.
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It sounds like you have a lot going on and it's all completely understandable why you would be feeling depressed about it. I've been feeling down a lot myself lately. I get distracted easily at work and can't focus and I even started crying on my way in this morning. I think the weather isn't helping either...it's cold and dark and snowy and I'm just over it.
I have the same concerns about daycare too. I don't love the place where my son goes, but it's right around the corner from our house and more affordable than having a nanny. I signed up this little guy to start in September and feel guilty about it. My mom is constantly telling me that I should get help because I'm so overwhelmed and I keep reminding her that we just can't afford it. She doesn't get it and makes me feel like I'm a bad mom for not trying to figure something else out for child care. Like you, I've looked into every possible option. This daycare is the most affordable option for us, and having two in the same daycare is still going to leave us a bit strapped each month. I try and remember that it's a relatively short term problem. In two more years DS1 will be going to public school, so I will have to make some sacrifices until then.
Every night after work when I pick up DS it's SO stressful. DH is usually late so I'm on my own dealing with making dinner and keeping him calm and occupied...so I usually throw him in front of the TV. More guilt. I just can't accomplish getting dinner ready while he's screaming and wanting attention....I can't cut myself in half to make dinner AND give him the attention he needs! Then he usually throws a fit when it's bedtime. DH will walk in at the height of a tantrum and I can tell he just wants to turn around and walk back out. Physically it's getting harder and harder for me to do all of the things with DS and when I enlist DH for help he gets bitter about it because he's literally been gone for over 12 hours and had a tough day at work. No one is happy, it's all so hard.
((hugs)) I hope your feelings turn around soon but you're definintely not alone.
BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.
BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.
BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.
BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section
Edit: Honestly, being back on my ADHD meds would probably fix a lot of my problems and if everything else was the same I would probably go back on them. BUT the problem with ADHD meds (i.e. stimulants) is that they tend to make your BP go up. Not a problem when I am not pregnant as I don't normally have high bp, but I had severe pre-e last time and am scared to death of it happening again. Plus, I have already battled some borderline high bp this time earlier on. Plus, I really want a vbac and if I end up with high BP, that will make it less likely. Especially with the prior pre-e and doctors being scared of that. Even if the high BP was just from the meds (and not pre-e), I worry that even it just going up would trigger my healthcare providers to be more concientous (sp?) regarding my care. So I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Like others have said, it definitely isn't "just hormones". You've got an overwhelming amount of stuff on your plate, for sure.
Like others have said, it definitely isn't "just hormones". You've got an overwhelming amount of stuff on your plate, for sure.
Edited to fix quote
This for sure. I'm off my meds, but even while on them, I see a therapist. I can't recall if you work or are a SAHM, but you can check through your employer for EAP (Employee Assistance Plan) services. It's free and confidential. If you don't like the counselor/therapist, don't give up, try a new one. Personally, I have always known at the very first visit if it is a good fit or not. I used to give up for months/year after going to a first session with one I didn't like, because of the effort (emotionally) to make that first appointment. Don't do that!