Parenting Check-In — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Parenting Check-In

Good Morning Everyone :-)

Tell us a little about your LO(s).  How was your week?  Any new developments, challenges, accomplishments?

QOTD: Inspired by a post I read over this weekend. How and when do you make quality time for yourself (or you and your spouse). What do you fill this time with?  

Include a PIP if you want :-)

Re: Parenting Check-In

  • skefhail4ythab .dg ... that's all my brain can manage today.  UGH!!!

    S and I went to the JT concert last night (it sounded like a great idea in May/June when the tickets went on sale).  It took forever to get home in the freezing stinking cold, so we got to bed just before 1 and S had to be up for work at 4:30.  There's lack of sleep and then there's lack of sleep!

    Gabe had a great weekend with my Sis who flew in to help out for the weekend because we had tons going on (including the concert).  He's such a neat kid around her.  Very patient and calm.  She can get him to do anything, it's amazing.

    This is ear tubes week.  So I'll likely just spend most of the days worrying about that until it's over with on Friday afternoon.

    QOTD:  Honestly I don't get much/any quality time for myself.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but lately the only me-time I've had is while I'm pumping in the Mothers' room at work!  And I should be working while I'm in there, but I'm so fried right now that I've been allowing myself to bump and also to play freecell.  With no family close, and the fact that we have an aggressive dog (makes having a babysitter damn near impossible), we don't get much quality time just the two of us.  It's not necessarily healthy, and we're both exhausted.  We need to figure out how to do better.

    Thanks for starting the thread @Jazibel!

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

    image

    Jazibel
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  • Good afternoon bumpies!  I have a moment and miraculously all the kids are sleeping.  
    As I had posted previously we finally got placements and they are wonderful!  The toddler M is 2 and the little baby K is 5 months old.  They are adjusting well overall.  M cried last night for her mom and didn't want to go to bed, but I went in her room a few times and reassured her.  She finally went to sleep around 11pm.  The baby seems to wake up about every 4 hours.  We need to figure out how to get her to sleep thru the night.  Being 11 weeks pregnant I already don't sleep well and wake up a million times to pee, now I am waking up to feed a baby too.  I am kind of complaining, though I knew it was going to happen I do love it.  She is a super sweet baby and overall is very easy.
    I think I am just a bit overwhelmed by everything and plus now during the day I have 4 kids under the age of 2.  Today was the first day with all 4 kids and I am just about to fall over.  It could have been worse, so I am trying to stay positive.  I think that 3 kids this age is manageable, but 4 is just a bit challenging.  
    QOTD:  We tend to spent extra time together.  We both kind of have a little "alone" time in the mornings.  My wife gets up at 530 and I used to sleep until 730.  She she would have time before work (at 7) to relax and do her own thing.  Same with me.  Now that I have two little ones all the time, that is going to change for me.  But if she is home she has no problem taking over and letting me go lay down or just relax for awhile.
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



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  • ATXmommasATXmommas member
    edited February 2014
    I have a moment to check in while I'm BF and my parents are preparing dinner.

    Ash did beautifully on the two flights here. I was a bit anxious, but things went really well.

    Ash is getting all sorts of loved on - makes my heart so, so happy. We're missing Z, of course. Sending her lots of pics while we're here.

    A sleep update - had a pretty crappy night on Saturday. But last night, he slept from 8-2:30!!!! Then 2:30 to 6:00!!! Winderful. Of course, I woke up with every peep he made, but that's ok.

    I do have a question about what pumps folks use. I've been renting a hospital grade pump (started once we started having weight problems). It's $55/month. I received an Ameda Purely Yours from my insurance, which I brought to MS and used for the first time since I started using the hospital grade Ameda. It is pretty terrible and is not going to work. So now deciding whether I should continue renting the hospital grade or just buy a new pump. I've heard good things about the Hygeia. If anyone has any input, I'd be interested in hearing it.

    QOTW: Not much at this point. I did manage to get a facial and go for a run while Z watched Ash, but those separations always start with trying to time a nursing session right before and right after. Will be a while longer before even short separations from baby are more relaxing. I do think it us super important to have me-time and me-and-Z time. Just not quite there yet.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    [Deleted User]JazibelJGY[Deleted User]
  • I didn't get much (any?) alone time for the first 6y or so (except my commute.) I think they were 4-5y when I was first in the house by myself for longer than 20-30m! :) Like a PP, we couldn't have a sitter for the first 2+ years due to an aggressive dog. And once the dog died, DP was fully immersed in her dissertation and from 4-6y  and was gone writing most weekends and when she was home, I wanted to spend time as a family. But since she finished last spring, she often takes the kids on the weekends and gives me time at home alone or time to shop/run errands solo. Divine! :)

    Since the kids turned 4y, we take them to Parents Night Out at our gym once a month. It gives us time to have a kid-free dinner/see a non-kid movie/or even go to the grocery store sans kids and stroll around! :) And we've been doing a lot better hiring sitters so we can go out. Unfortunately, paying $12-$15/hr for a sitter isn't something that can happen too often! It stinks when just going to dinner and a movie costs over $100 (with over half of that going the sitter!)
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    JazibelJGY
  • Hello all!
    We have a big week this week since I go back to work on Friday. Today we had a "practice" day where @lifebylauren gave Oliver bottles all day and I pumped to get an idea of how much he eats and how much I can pump. Overall it went pretty well. He did nurse for 30 minutes at bedtime... Not sure if he was really thar hungry or enjoyed the comfort of having the boob. :) My mom is coming into town Friday to help with me transition back to work. Sleep is still hit and miss for us here. Some nights are great (we will get a 5 or 6 hour stretch) other nights he is up every 1-2 hours. We see the pediatrician tomorrow for more shots and I am curious to see how big he is now. He is only 2.5 months and I had to pull out 9 month pajamas today because the 6 month PJs were getting tight. ;) Sometimes I feel like I am growing a toddler!

    QOTD: @lifebylauren and I usually find time to connect during naps and after he first goes down for bedtime. We are often too tired to do much more than watch some TV and chat. Tonight we chatted while having some wine and vegan cake from Chicago Diner (they sell it at our Whole Foods down here). Yum!

    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
    Jazibel
  • @mwagner25 - good luck on your first day back! I'm right behind you - starting on the 18th. Good idea to have a practice day of pumping. Will be thinking about you!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    mwagner25
  • Thank you everyone for the kuddos.  I sometimes put too much pressure on myself and wouldn't ask for help, I am learning to get over that pretty quickly these days.  I am not superwoman, but I am trying to be for sure!  :-)  All of your encouragement (along with the positive, sweet words from my wonderful wife) keep me going each day.
    Everyone's life is relative to their experiences, so feel free to complain about your problems :-)  
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



  • adding another Question - tell me about your pediatrician.  When you go in do they know your name, your child's name? (even if they only know it b/c they looked at the chart?)  Do they play with your kid a little first to relax them? Like, M was not having any part of the stethoscope touching her. If I was the doc in that situation I would smile at her, talk to her, let her touch it and see what it is, and then try to do it.  Instead she pretty much told me to hold her hands back (she was on my lap) and she just did it. I have no idea how she could hear anything with the screaming!  I dont know, I would think she would be just a little more interested in interacting with the cutest baby in the world (fact) when she is in her office. And she's telling me how the next few visits might be hard because of the whole stranger thing - but later I'm thinking, well if you approached her a little slower and playfully she'd probably be fine.

    She also told us to just let her scream in her crib for as long as it takes in order to get her to sleep better. And the office is a PITA to get to in the morning.  So we are probably going to switch.  But maybe my expectations are too high? She's perfectly "nice" but...

    Every single Dr. in our office (Family Practice, not Peds specific) is gentle and playful with our guy.  I would have a huge problem if they told me to just hold his arms back.  I would say that you should follow your instincts on this one.  Especially given their sleeping advice.  There's such a range of opinions and methods out there, at least throw out the names of some books that give alternative solutions, right?

    Also, thanks @stringy813 for the well-wishes.  Friday can't get here soon enough for me.


     

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

    image

  • @Jazibel - thanks for the good thoughts!

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

    image

    Jazibel
  • @ATXmommas, I had a Medela.  I never had any problems with it at all!  I got mine free through insurance.

    @jrtmom, We did BLW only because N hated all pureed baby food.  So I was insanely scared about choking since I wasn't prepared for "real people feed".  Avocados went over really well and mashed potatoes have always been a hit :)  Also, I'm very jealous that Henry is clapping already.  N didn't start clapping until like 9 months.  B and I just looked like crazy people cheering and clapping EVERY TIME she did anything that she finally caught on.  lol I'm sure people thought we were nuts!

    @stringy813, the only time I have to hold down N is when they are looking in her ears and that's because we've learned she likes to rip the looker thing (what is this called?!) out of the doctor's hands and then laugh.  The doctor always talks to her and tries to befriend her before doing anything.  I'd be worried if they didn't try to be nice to N first. 



    This week is going ok.  N is one tomorrow!  I can't believe that she's already one!!  She's at R's house tonight and I'm incredibly sad that I don't get to tell her happy birthday when she wakes up.  For the past week or so I've been feeling incredibly sad about N being at R's house and not with me. As I try to describe how sad I've been I can't even find words to show how bad it's been.  I feel like it's constantly on my mind and I can't enjoy anything else.  I've been turning down events even when N isn't home because I just feel too sad to even be around happy people.  I'm afraid I'm missing out on so much.  I really thought by the time we got to a year old that I would be in a better place with the custody and I'm just not getting there.  I'm really thinking that I should see or talk to someone about this because it's not getting any better.  :(

    N's birthday party is this weekend and I still have TONS of things to do for it.  I normally love everything about party planning but have been procrastinating starting the planning for this party.  It's a joint party with R, B and my families.  I hope everything goes well and there's no drama.

    QOTW:  B and I typically do the grocery shopping and only plan "us" time for when R has N.  

  • @stringy813 I absolutely think you'd be doing the right thing by leaving. Our pediatricians, even the one I don't like that much, always take the time to make A comfortable. They look into his eyes, smile and even high five or play peekaboo. This person shouldn't be working with children.
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


  • @stringy813 - I have to agree with PP.  I would want to feel 100% comfortable with my pediatrician. So far we've had two male doctors that were both funny and engaging and "warm" to Kaden.  I also appreciate it if the staff have a friendly demeanor, etc. too.

    Good luck finding a great fit.  I've relied on Yelp reviews and asking other parents in my area who they see.





  • ATXmommasATXmommas member
    edited February 2014
    So many things I want to respond to, but I'm mobile and it's a bit of a PITA. Argh.

    Thank you for the pump feedback. I've heard great things about Medela pumps. I was leaning towards the Hygeia because it is more green in that it is a closed system and the warranty covers multi-use vs the Medela warranty that is only valid for one year/one child. I'm glad to hear that @jrtmom has a good experience. Still debating on whether I should continue renting or buy a new pump.

    Regarding the pediatrician - I agree with PPs. You would think a pediatrician would have good "bedside" manners with children. I can't imagine why in the world you would want to be a pediatrician otherwise. Our pediatrician seems to remember us and him and is pretty good with him. Haven't had any concerns in that regard. It's too important of a relationship to invest more time in if you are that concerned.

    @newmompeanut - I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. It sounds you and B have an incredible co-parenting relationship with R, but that doesn't take the sting away when N is gone. I hope you are able to find some peace. N is a lucky girl to have three loving parents who all want to spend time with her! ETA: Happy Birthday to N!!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    newmompeanut
  • Thanks for the support!  I really don't mean to complain... I guess I just need to focus on cherishing those moments when she is with me!

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