Tell me I'm doing the right thing (tl;dr)

kmm2150 · February 2014

i had a total hip replacement on Friday, came home on Monday. My parents have had DD (2 years old) since the surgery, but she came home last night. Between her being super clingy to me, me having very limited mobility and dh trying to take care of both of us it was miserable.

Basically, dh is off work so if we had to, we could make this work but it's all on him to take care of us both. I have a hard time sitting, doong nothing, and not giving my advice/criticism of whatever he's doing (you didnt cut her waffle up for her, etc) which of course causes tension.

In addition, I'm supposed to be icing/elevating my leg basically half the day which is NOT happening with a toddler under foot.

My parents have offered to keep her through the weekend. They help with her quite regularly, so staying a few nights with them is nothing unusual, except she knows mommy went to the doctor/has an owie etc and is definitely aware that something's going on.

I'm feeling guilty for sending her away for the week when I know we could handle it, and I miss Her like crazy, but tell me it's the right thing to do, ok?

LoveActually4 · February 2014

It's the right thing to do. If you don't rest, ice and take care of yourself you'll wind up with an infection or do harm to your hip and that could wind you back in the hospital (and even more time away from her).

Hope you feel better soon!

aforst · February 2014

I know it's hard b/c you miss her and the guilt doesn't help. That being said, I really think letting your parents take her is probably the best idea. She'll be back home before you know it. There may be a small transition period as things get back to normal, but in the grand scheme of things, she'll never remember this time. You aren't going to be much help to her if you aren't fully recovered b/c you were trying to take care of a toddler.

I hope you feel better soon!

BluepointToasted · February 2014

Do it with zero guilt. She will have a better time over there than with you all laid up, and if you don't let yourself heal properly you will be no good to anyone! Get some rest!

ASmallWonder · February 2014

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her stay with her grandparents but I also don't think there's anything wrong with letting your DH figure out how to take care of her. "Different" isn't always bad so maybe just let him figure out his groove with her. It's actually a great learning experience

But again, if your recovery is going to suffer, no big deal for her to stay with the grandparents and give you guys a rest.

taggiecb · February 2014

Sacrifice your emotional health for the short term in order to ensure your physical health for the long run. It's not easy, not even a little to feel like you cannot care for your own children, but if you do it, looking back, you will know it was the right choice.

RondackHiker · February 2014

Do it. She'll have fun and be loved and you can rest and recover. If you don't do your recovery right it will take longer and this will be harder.

Unknown · February 2014

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angelashly · February 2014

You are doing the right thing. Mom guilt always makes us question and then we don't recover right.

wiggyslilsis · February 2014

Mommy guilt can be intense. I think her staying at her grandparents is a good idea to help with your recovery and she will have fun over there!

studyinpink · February 2014

PP have already covered it but you need to recover properly and rest. She will have fun with her grandparents.

vandelay · February 2014

You are definitely doing the right thing. The most important thing for you to do is rest and recover. Just because you *can* handle having your daughter over the weekend doesn't mean that it's the best thing to do for you and your family. Plus, it's her grandparents and she'll be well cared for -- it's not like you're putting her up in a motel room for the weekend! :-)

RayRay007 · February 2014

Don't feel bad about it. She and the grandparents will probably love it, it will give you time to rest and heal and will probably save you and DH from bickering about waffles.

insertclevername · February 2014

Resting and recovering is essential at this point. If it is not happening with your child at home then it is better for her to be with her grandparents.

Maebb · February 2014

I'm not saying anything new, but another "+1" for the "you're doing the right thing" side.

It sounds like your parents take good care of her, and it will make it easier for your H to focus on taking care of you and easier for you to rest and recover. That sounds like a pretty major surgery, and you don't want to slow down your recovery process by over-exerting yourself. Take them up on the offer, prop your feet up, and focus on relaxing and getting better!

Eleventy11 · February 2014

If you're not 100%, your whole household will suffer. Take the time to recover and get well. I know that's easier said then done though.

Pearls+Oysters · February 2014

You're doing the right thing. No doubt about it. She will have the time of her life while with the grandparents, and you will get to heal enough so that when she's back, you will be too (almost ;-) ).

Hoping for a speedy and complete recovery!

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