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June 2013 Moms
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Family annoyance

ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
in June 2013 Moms
I'll apologize now for this shitty vent that probably doesn't even make sense to anyone else lol

My ILs have a 3BR house and our family (me, DH DS1&2) and BIL's family (BIL, SIL, toddler, baby) are all going up for the grandmother's funeral this weekend.  One of the bedrooms has a convertible crib set up as a toddler bed.  Technically it's for all the grandchildren but, petty as this sounds, it's pretty much my older son's bed because we visit often and BIL's family has only visited twice in three years.  It's a point of contention with my ILs for sure.

Trying to be proactive, I called my SIL to talk about the sleeping arrangements and mentioned that I could maybe get DS1 a toddler air mattress but, not to make him sound bratty, I was really worried if he were forced to give up the bed he believes is his.  BIL and SIL don't commit to anything so the conversation ended with them saying maybe the kids wouldn't come, maybe they'd get a hotel.  Basically a shoulder shrug and no resolution.  

We're going up there for three nights, them for one.  So today we told them we'd take the room with the toddler bed because we can fit all four of us in there and they could have the other room.  The responded that they can't fit in one room.  WTF.  So did they think they were getting BOTH rooms and making my whole family sleep in the basement?  How is that fair?  Plus, I didn't order the air mattress because it sounded like it was likely we weren't all going to end up at the house anyway (either them leaving their kids with family or staying in a hotel).  So apparently now we look like the bad guys because for whatever reason, they think they're entitled to, never mind the toddler bed, but in fact, both real bedrooms.  Basically, they made zero decisions except in their minds, communicated nothing assumed they were getting everything they wanted even though I went out of my way to try and find a solution that worked for everyone.

I'm sure this sounds petty as shit and I may DD later but I needed to let loose my emotional tirade lol
Formerly known as elmoali :)

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Re: Family annoyance

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    NikkiP15 said:
    RIDICULOUS! 

    WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY THINK THEY GET 2 BEDROOMS & Y'ALL GET ZERO BEDROOMS?

    Sorry I needed to yell for you ;) 
    See, they were careful to not come right out and say this but what else could one infer when hearing "We can't fit in one bedroom."  Well, there are two bedrooms so if you can't fit in one, do you think you're getting both?  Cripes.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • lioness13lioness13 member
    What's the basement like?
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    lioness13 said:
    What's the basement like?
    It's finished and has carpet but we'd have Aiden on the floor and DH and I sharing an air mattress with Quinn in the pack n play.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • HeartLikeMine3HeartLikeMine3 member
    That's ridiculous, you were obviously trying to plan so things would go smoothly. Like OP said each family gets a room fair is fair.
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  • daffy2kdaffy2k member
    edited February 2014
    Super late to the party, but i agree with all PPs. You've done your best to make it work for everyone. If they can't deal, they can seek other accommodations. I can completely commiserate with your situation though. One of DH's uncles (and his family) are exactly like that and we deal with it every time we attend a family gathering at his grandma's. Their family of 4 somehow thinks they get all 3 of the spare bedrooms while our family of 9 apparently gets no beds???
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  • megaroo64megaroo64 member
    I say do whatever you want.  Sounds like they are beefing up their argument to get a hotel room anyway.  And it sounds like everyone else sees that they are being loons too. 

    Though if this was happening to me, I too would be completely annoyed.  I also have a SIL who is a non-planner.  Drives me f-ing batty!

    Good luck!!
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  • SummerSnow11SummerSnow11 member
    34blondie said:

    If there is one thing I have learned when dealing with THAT kind of family, it is this: they will be pissed no matter how you handle a situation. Might as well make yourself comfortable and stop catering to the crazy. Wishing you the best of luck this weekend!

    I'm going to start using this as my mantra in certain situations "stop catering to the crazy". I'm way too much of a people pleaser. Thanks @34blondie

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