considering leaving my job

Re: considering leaving my job

• aglenn member

  February 2014

  For me, these feelings come and go.  I am feeling kind of blah about my job right now and with DD getting ready to start kindergarten our whole logistics/routine will be changing, and it's got me thinking again.  In the long run I still see keeping my job as the best option for us, but I get what you are saying because I never expected to even consider quitting but the truth is that I do consider it, over and over again.
  
  My advice is to take your time, so I am glad you're working toward a future date.  Circumstances will change, your feelings about work will change, and you don't want to jump into any major decisions (especially in the first year after having a kid, when everything in your life feels kind of turned on its head).  Consider all the implications, financial, emotional, how your DH feels (this is extremely important), the impact on your relationship with your DH, etc.  Make sure you are accounting for all the hidden financial impacts like retirement benefits, future earnings potential, and a realistic assessment of the likelihood of returning to work later.  Whether it ultimately makes sense for your family will be a decision only you and your DH can make, but take the time to consider it carefully and resist the temptation to jump into a choice out of an emotional reaction.  Good luck with whatever you choose!
  

  

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• HisChamaoleGirl member

  February 2014

  Thank you for the great advice.

  While I know that LO is most definitely affecting the way I feel now, I also know that when I extended my contract in 2011 I was having these same feelings and thought they would go away. I felt pressure from DH to extend as he extended the same time. We both now have the same "get out of the army" date though I know he is planning to stay until retirement. And because of the pressure I felt from him then is what is making me think he wont be entirely supportive of me leaving work to return to school even though I will be bringing in some sort of "income" still.

  BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

  BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

  

   

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• jf198400 member

  February 2014

  I have always wanted to SAH but can honestly say it gets much easier being a WM over time. My oldest is 3.5 now and I would not be considering leaving my job if I wasn't planning to have another baby. 2017 is far away so you may change your mind by then or maybe you will have another baby and be even more set on SAH. There's no way of knowing now. I think you are doing the right thing now by planning to payoff debt. If you do decide to SAH later it will definitely put you in a better spot financially.
  
  As for convincing your DH that it would be good for you to SAH, I think that it takes time for them to realize how much work it is to keep a household running with 2 FT working parents. Make sure you are splitting childcare and housework 50-50 so he doesn't take for granted all the work that you do.

  
  
  
  
  

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• HisChamaoleGirl member

  February 2014

  It may help to mention we aren't working in a corporate setting. We are both active duty military so deployments and training are also considerations in my thoughts of leaving the military. I don't plan to be a stay at home mom as much as I would consider it to be a fulltime student.

   

  I do appreciate the advice. I thought adding what type of job I have may influence the answers. I should have included it in the beginning.

  BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

  BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

  

   

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• thedash member

  February 2014

  I can definitely understand leaving active duty for either school or a civilian job. I had a very demanding high stress job (nothing compared to military service though) and I chose to leave it just before DS turned one. I was barely keeping my head above water at home and at work. I honestly couldn't fathom having more kids while working there. Now I have my own law practice and my schedule is very flexible and my cases are generally lower stress than before. It was definitely the right choice for our family. DH was nervous but I just couldn't take it anymore and it really has worked out well.

  DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13

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• MommaP12 member

  February 2014

  I'm not in the military, but I feel the exact same way as you and have pretty much the exact same plan.  I'm glad I'm not alone in these feelings/plan.  I've felt this way for about a year now.

  
  

  I'm the breadwinner and insurance carrier with DH owning his own small (but successful!) business so this is where it gets tricky for us. He is growing by leaps and bounds as well so I know we'll be okay there, but we need to have insurance.

  
  

  I dream daily of not working - and I used to be a major ladder climber and have an MBA!  Things change.  I see my children growing before my eyes and feel like I need to slow down and enjoy these years that they actually need me and want to be with me because they are flying by.  But we need to have insurance and I make into 6 figures which is hard to walk away from.

  
  

  I am putting together a plan much like you.   Daycare is killer - it's more than our mortgage!  It will go down dramatically this fall when DS starts Kindergarten.  We paid off our car and rarely drive it so I'm praying it lasts at least 5 more years.   We are in the process of paying off the very little credit card debt we have and the last thing to tackle is my student loans from my 2 degrees.   My plan/goal is to get that all paid off within the next year (I get a bonus from work that should tackle most if not all of my student loans) and go to part time here.    I know my salary could be slashed by 60% or more, but to only work 2-3 days a week with lower stress/more time with my kids, it's worth it to me.   I'm really working hard to make sure this plan can come to fruition by living frugally now and networking within my company so I'm aware of any PT opportunities that come up in a year.

  

  
  

  
  

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• sweetsunnyc member

  February 2014

  I feel the same way as you do and I have considered leaving my job for well over a year now. We were considering moving in to a bigger home, but we have decided to refinance the home that we have and just make due for now. We also just paid off most of our credit card debt, so we are just down to auto and student loan debts. My point is that we are trying to get closer to me being able to stay at home more. I would still have to bring in some income, but not the full time schedule.

  It's a hard decision to make and I have a lot of fear about making the leap sometimes, but I feel like it's what my family needs right now. My department has recently gone under new management and there has been talk of allowing us to work more flexible schedules or three quarters time. I am hanging out a little longer to see if this would be a possibility for me. If not, I plan on transitioning in to something else by the end of the summer.

  Good luck!

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• mommaoftrips member

  February 2014

  I can understand where you are coming from. I would really like to pursue some more higher education, and the those programs are only full-time, so I would have to leave my job. The way I figure, the sooner I do this, the better it is for our family. As the kids get older, more activities and more pressures. While they are really little I am hoping they won't remember that mommy was busy with school sometimes. However, this is not much different than a full-time working mom. Good luck with your decision, you still have a lot of time to make a final decision but do start talking to DH about this, most men need some time to come around with drastic life/family altering decisions.

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