Idiot friend vent

FloridaSun82 · February 2014

Let me start by saying that I was in a sorority in college and my best friends today are sorority sisters (graduated in 2004). However, as with every group of friends, there is always that one idiot. There is one girl that I would never hang out with one-on-one, but we're part of the same social circle and see each other about once a month in a group. She is the type of person that needs to be better then everyone, puts people down to be "funny," and still thinks that it's funny and cool to get obnoxiously drunk and she'll be 32 in April. Everyone knows that she's obnoxious and just accepts it because we've all been friends for so long.

However... We went out for lunch on Sunday, as one of our friends is in town with her husband and baby. We were all chatting and then someone mentioned that another sorority sister is pregnant. The obnoxious girl immediately laughed and goes, "that took a while (4 years), was it natural or did she have help?" Everyone kind of looked dumb-founded and then someone said, "I'm pretty sure it was natural, she's been working on her PhD, so wasn't in a rush." To which she responded, "I don't know, I bet she had help. You know, so-and-so (another sorority sister) had help, too. Twins aren't natural." FORTUNATELY, our friends baby started crying and the focus/topic was immediately changed.

So... To reiterate, this girl is an IDIOT and I would bet any sum of money that her questions were meant to be funny OR just meant to bring attention back to her because heaven forbid we share happy news about someone else and she can't be the center of attention.

However, I can not stop thinking about it and am REALLY tempted to send her an e-mail letting her know that infertility is a DISEASE affecting 1 in 8 couples and people's reproductive health is really none of her business nor should it be open for discussion when they aren't around. Granted, all that will do is let her know that mine is "unnatural" when she finds out.

Thoughts?

Ylvelill · February 2014

It seems like it would depend in how you feel about being open about it. I agree she is totally insensitive to the issue and i would probably say something, but then again most people I know already know about our struggles.

FloridaSun82 · February 2014

Ultimately, I would like to say something, but don't really think it would do anything. She also talks very openly about how she and her husband don't want kids, so she'll never be able to even imagine what IF is like. I guess I'll just leave it alone.

twistsandturnsto2 · February 2014

Guess that makes me "unnatural" being a twin and all. 8-|

Some people will never learn, even if they are approached about their bad behavior. Sorry you have to deal with her.

auntjessy · February 2014

I have a pretty direct approach. Next time we were out in public and she made a stupid comment, no matter who about or what the topic, I'd say, "Wow, that's pretty rude and insensitive." She doesn't seem like the type of person who would respond to an email, but if she has an "it's all about me attitude," then realizing how bad she looks when she says that crap might make her stop. Like everyone else, sorry you have to deal with rude people. There are a lot more of them out there. LOL. People would maybe say that crap around me, too - but I'm so open about our journey from the beginning that everyone knows what it took to get here.

BTW - Strangers in the store all the time ask me if these twins were conceived naturally, and I tell them about our IVF, my many surgeries, and the 5 years it took to get here. Most people just seem really touched that we finally got our miracle. I feel that more I discuss IF, the better people will understand that 1 in 10 women has to deal with IF. That's a lot of us - that means if you're sitting around a table with 10 women making jokes about IF, you're most likely hurting someone.

marnief · February 2014

Oh, I like @auntjessy's approach! Just straight-up call her out on it. Gah, people are so sucky and insensitive sometimes. Sorry you had to deal with that kind of hurtful ignorance...

brittneyandadam · February 2014

I'm a glutton for punishment...so I would have asked straight out, "What's wrong with getting a little help?" Sounds like this chick needs a reality check. Not to mention that twins aren't unnatural...they run in my family. Ugh, I agree with PPs...call her out on it.

tryingyetagain · February 2014

Al of my friends and family pretty much know about our struggles and losses. I am an open book if anyone asks, although I don't really talk much about it unless it's relevant to the conversation. With a "friend" like that, I would probably have piped up with the statistics, and then said "and unfortunately I happen to be one of them. You are very fortunate to not have to worry about it, because it's been pretty hard to deal with at times" or something to that effect. But I totally get that many women would rather be private about it. I would just relish shutting her up too much to pass on the opportunity! Stupid, insensitive people really suck! I'm sorry you were subjected to that!

LSN8308 · February 2014

she sounds very ignorant...and the only headache bigger than hearing her crap is gonna be trying to explain to her that what she said was insensitive. you'll be talking to a brick wall and she'll just label you as being "extra sensitive" about the subject especially when/if she finds out you've gone thru IF. i agree with other PP and just give her a reality check when shes in the middle of saying something else stupid.

Allison7 · February 2014

I doubt she would get it if you did say something, but is personally would have called her out on it. I was pretty open with our struggles because I want people to know it is more common than you would think! I am so sorry you have to deal with such an idiot!

Ylvelill · February 2014

@auntjessy - I want to be you when I grow up

auntjessy · February 2014

Ylvelill said:

@auntjessy - I want to be you when I grow up

$:\$ "> LOL

HeatherHam10 · February 2014

If it was me I wouldnt have been able to bite my tongue and wouldve mentioned everything she said and I would have wanted her to know that mine was "unnatural" to make her feel even more stupid. I really dislike some ppl.

Want a personalized experience?

Idiot friend vent

Re: Idiot friend vent

Choose Another Board

Search Boards