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Nursing homes

shella923shella923 member
in Parenting
We might have to put my grandmother in one in a few weeks. Had femur surgery and has homemaker but the falls were getting more frequent. It's a lot for my mom who works. This will NOT go over well... Anyone have a loved one in a nursing home and what is your experience ? Thank you.
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Re: Nursing homes

  • flyingsaucerflyingsaucer member
    Sorry to hear this. We went through this with my grandmother (several years ago). After several falls and broken bones, we could no longer meet her needs at home. My advice is to visit several places to find what you like best. Some are better than others and you can get a feel for cleanliness/atmosphere by going in person. Try to make it as home like as possible. Decorate the room, bring her furniture. Visit often, make sure the staff know you well. Maybe you can talk up all of the social stuff to your grandma ... My grandparents enjoyed happy hour, evening socials, playing cards, etc. have your grandma be a part of the decision making process as much as possible so she feels involved. It's a tough transition. I wish you all luck
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  • missyisheremissyishere member
    If you want, you could see if the state of your grandma's residence has an elderly waiver program. Such programs could help keep her in her home by giving her services like home care and nursing services to visit her. If nursing home is inevitable, make sure they have the requirements you're looking for to help her needs best.


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  • BluepointToastedBluepointToasted member
    We had to do this with my grandmother. She was in and out of "rehab", so based on bed availability she was in a few different places over the course of a couple of years. One takeaway I had from the experience is that a nicer facility doesn't mean much, it's the staff that matters. The "nicest" place my grandma was in had the worst staff ever, no one would answer her call light for at least a half hour. The grimiest place, which ended up going under for a $7,000 electric bill, had the nicest, sweetest, most responsive staff of all.

    Also, visit often.  It is hard.  I spent the last year and a half of my grandmothers life in a hospital or nursing home almost every day.  It was awful, but I felt better knowing she wasn't alone.  Luckily I have a huge family so we took shifts.
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  • Mags748Mags748 member
    edited February 2014
    I am an RN case manager for a program like @missyishere is describing. Depending on where you live, there should be other "less restrictive" places than nursing homes such as assisted living, group homes, CBRFs etc (different states often have different names for such places). The staff ratios are typically better there, they feel more home-like and less institutional and are typically much less expensive than nursing homes. 

    The point of our program is to keep people in their homes as long as possible. Nursing homes are the last resort. In my experience, when we have someone who is falling a lot in the home, we try to find the cause and fix it if we can. Do they not have the right equipment (walkers, wheelchair, bathroom equipment, lift chair, bed assist rail, etc), have there been medication changes, do they have an underlying infection, are they just deconditioned and need some physical therapy etc. If we cant make it work in the home after we exhaust other options, then we try to find placement in assisted living or group home. We really only move people to nursing homes when they are very medically or behaviorally complicated or are very limited in mobility (needing hoyer lifts, bed bound).

    My personal experience is that trying to get a loved one into a nursing home or other assisted living is not easy and usually doesn't go over well. However, you really need to tour lots of places and make sure they are a good fit. I would say I wouldn't put my loved ones in at least 90% of the nursing homes I visit and 65% of assisted living and group homes. Its harder to find a good one than a bad one unless you are privately paying with infinite sums of money.
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  • shella923shella923 member
    Thank you so much everyone. This was very helpful. I will let you know what happens. Four weeks of rehab first......
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