Have 2, thinking I might want 3. Am I freaking crazy?!

Annie Frannie · February 2014

Long time, no bump. . . . Hello! Alright, so here I am: in the ridiculous thick of kind of, maybe sort of, can't believe I'm thinking I want another baby! 1. The Hubs says 'nope,' but he's said no twice before and caved. 2. Very close in age LOs - 3 & 15 mo. 3. Stress on our lives, and on mine especially. The first year for both (and back to back) were very hard years personally and on my marriage. 4. Am I only having these thoughts because we're kind of coming out of the craziness? (Relatively speaking, of course.) 5. Do I really want one because I like the idea of a big family, or do I reallyw ant one for real with no ulterrior motive? Discuss. And thanks!

Annie Frannie · February 2014

p.s. I missed this place!

stephcarter · February 2014

Do it

Starry Again · February 2014

To me there are a lot of factors here. Your age, whether there is SAHP who plans on returning to work, your general financial picture and other goals.

nealbl · February 2014

I think all marriages take hit the first year of baby but deep down did the hit strengthen your marriage or is it still in a rough place. When we are sleep deprived DH and I def are not at our bests in our marriage but overall having kids has incredibly strengthened our marriage. I think a marriage, is more important than the dream of a big family or the desire to have more babies. With that said where do you feel your marriage is at. Are you in a place where it can take the first year hit and bounce back or do you guys need to focus on yourselves for awhile. I hope that didn't sound preachy!

navyandviolet · February 2014

As a mom of three kids it is rough. Whereas previously with one or two we felt comfortable handing off the kids to each other or a babysitter/grandparent for a break. But it just too much to ask of someone right now. So we both always have a kids, one or two or we sit in the basement with all three. We stare at each other. It has taken its toll. My advice would be to wait a year. One year in the grand scheme of things isn't much and it will give you to a chance to get a breather and see where you stand.

I love having this.big family. And three kids is what we wanted and still want. But it is much harder then going from 0 to 1 and 1 to 2 kids. Way more than we anticipated.

In the mean time get on bc and have fun practicing.

Sillygirl85 · February 2014

I think this is a decision only you and your husband can make. And I agree with previous posters that you need to make sure your husband is 100% on board and not just giving in to you.

Rachelilly23 · February 2014

Who has the link to that So You Want 3 Kids blog post from a while back? OP needs that

BabyCarryingVessel · February 2014

My SIL says 3 is really hard because they are outnumbered and the kids all have different needs. I.e., the 7 year old needs help with his math, the 5 year old is learning to read and the baby wants to be read to. She always feels like someone has to go without attention. She posted this the other day. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2320235/Why-stressful-number-children--BUT-mothers-MORE-relaxed.html

Mrs_Lady · February 2014

Just wanted to say good luck deciding make sure hubby is truly onboard so no bad feelings

LorMor · February 2014

Before kids, did you always imagine/want 2 or 3? Is this desire for a third just because you're broody/wanting a baby again? If so, get a puppy. Enjoy being out of the craziness and think this through very carefully, LISTEN to your husband and his reservations, don't just steamroll him into agreeing to another child.

Sharon&Paul · February 2014

We have three all two years apart. Three 4 yo and under was a handful. The logistic can get complicated. We graduated to a minivan. It is harder to find a nanny for so many little ones without paying a fortune. You don't have as many people volunteering to babysit a night for you like when you had one. My husband and I split kids many times just to get daily chores done.

Would I change anything. No, I would do it all again the same way. You learn how to adopt to each of life's challenges and the rewards are tenfold. As they get older it gets easier.

Sillygirl85 · February 2014

@ Annie Frannie Why haven't you come back to comment on your own post?

Annie Frannie · February 2014

Oh, my goodness. Truly, ALL of your questions, comments, and experiences are awesome and so helpful to think about. I knew when I posted that I truly was feeling a physical urge to be pregnant/have a baby, so I appreciate the thoughtful questions to consider and reflect on as time goes forward. Nothing to report yet, except that I shared my thoughts with DH. I also told him how hard I was trying to NOT want another baby - logically, I totally think I am crazy. So it's been nice to be honest, but not exactly sure what or if anything will happen, and for right now, that's okay. My brain is not in a rush, but my body is. So weird. As for just letting you know, I've always wanted 5, but didn't really and don't really think that is possible. But after having two, I just cannot get over how amazing they both are, and I am fascinated by who else might join our family. We shall see. Thank you again! Sorry for responding so belatedly.*

ThatWasAHoot · February 2014

I think that once baby isn't a newborn anymore and you are remotely wanting another baby at all, it's hard to get rid of those feelings. DW and I want 1 or 2 more, but getting pregnant for a same-sex couple is expensive, among other things. When DD started being more expressive and hit about 14 months, we both got baby fever again. We know it's not an option right now (and we can't have a mistake

but I feel your pain!

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Have 2, thinking I might want 3. Am I freaking crazy?!

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