Never going to STTN...

spainy17 · February 2014

I seriously have no idea how any baby STTN, ever. My DD is just one of those babies where if ANYTHING is off (overtired, teething, cold, too wet, too much day sleep, etc) it impacts her sleep. I should not be surprised, I was heavily medicated for sleep for a DECADE before getting pregnant so it's safe to say it is not my strong suit.

We had 3 weeks there not that long ago where it was starting to look promising again, sleeping from 7pm to 4am, up for a quick feed (10 minutes) and back down until 530 or 6. I felt amazing, angels were singing, etc. Then the wonder week hit, then the stomach flu, and now we are getting molars number 3 and 4. Sigh. Back to up twice a night for nursing and numerous hours of just chatting/playing/kicking in her crib. UGH.

She has slept through the night TWICE, ever, and both were aided... once was her last night in the swing before I switched her to the crib and once was after 3 horrible nights of sleep where I gave her a dose of Benadryl at the pedi's recommendation. Boo. I swear, I have NO IDEA how you all are going and getting knocked up again when I still feel exhausted most of the time. No one tells you that babies don't all sleep through the night at 4 months. Or that you would have to do seriously sleep training to get them to do so. I mean, she goes down fine, she can settle herself, she just doesn't make it the whole night, ever.

Sorry, vent over. I just hate teeth this week.

Little Dawson · February 2014

I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

spainy17 · February 2014

Yeah, I think the sucking feels good on her teeth because she always wants to nurse more when teething and she does not take a pacifier. She was literally stuffing her security blanket in her mouth and chewing on it, poor baby. I have not done true sleep training because every time that everything settles down she sleeps way better on her own and there always seems to be something. We were early teethers (she has 9 teeth plus one other molar half in and another super swollen) so i am praying that once they are in we will finally get some respite...

spainy17 · February 2014

Thanks Little Dawson, it feels good to vent even if it doesn't change anything.

portentosa · February 2014

I feel the same way. I can't even imagine the heaven that DS STTN would be. I hate it even more because now I'm in the thick of 1st tri exhaustion and morning sickness. I still comfort nurse DS to sleep and if he's not immediately tired he will kick me right in my nauseous stomach. I'm so so tired. No help from me, just commiserating.

martha919 · February 2014

Girl, I'm wondering the same thing. I'm about ready to just turn off the damn monitor, shut the doors, put in earplugs, and let DH handle it until she STTN. She has never done it once ever and I'm DONE.

But I won't do that, so here we are.

Little Dawson · February 2014

@spainy17 - I actually had a bit more to say than that lol. But I was on a device other than my computer and it was giving me some severe issues, and refused to let me edit. SO I shut it off and took a nap

I really hope you get some much needed rest soon. Just remember you're giving your baby some much needed comfort with the pain she's having. You're a good mom, she will eventually STTN.

URMySunshine77 · February 2014

@spainy17.

I feel your pain! DS nursed at 4:30 a.m. this morning and then refused to go back to sleep. I don't mind nursing throughout the night, but please babies go back to sleep.

SarahBBowers · February 2014

I am right there with you!!!!!!!!!!!!! DD has only once STTN. She still wakes up 3 times!!! And for the last half of the night shes in our bed cuz I'm too tired to fight the crib situation.

aklawrence1 · February 2014

I'm with you OP. DD doesn't STTN either... But I think @michieu79 is right, one day it will click. I feel like i might be competely gray by then lol, but I know it will come sometime. When they're all teenagers, we'll complain that they sleep too much haha!

spainy17 · February 2014

You guys are seriously fabulous.

I stand by my choice to comfort my little person and every now and again when I am feeling hopeless it is so nice to know that I am not alone and to hear stories of hope from you other lucky bastards who have peanuts that have decided to give sleep a try! It makes me feel so much better just to have a place that can be a sounding board, especially since you are all in the same boat and can give real perspective. Thank you. And for those of you that wrote that have sleepers, you were so sweet and polite, just so cute. And you can bet that when DD decided to do the same I will be on here shouting it from the hilltops.

bubble520 · February 2014

Im with the bigfoot therory... the longest ds has slept ever, five hours, that happened once .. other than the the longest is a3.5 to 4 but most nights its stretches of 2.5 to 3... "everyone" says he doesnt need to nurse and should be able to gp back to sleep on his own, he strongly disagrees... I wont be withholding nursing at night for awhile, against what seems to be the better judgement if the whole world... when the joyous days of sleep return im sure ill miss our nightly cuddle times :-)

spainy17 · February 2014

Holy crap @bubble520, I feel like a turd whining when the losgest you have ever had is 5 hours. We get longer than that sometimes and the longest ever was 10 hours (ONE TIME) but man, if I ever find bigfoot I'll let you know. I think a bunch of us are looking for him, that dodgy bastard...

rockyrollgirl · February 2014

I am sorry you are exhausted.

When they say STTN at 4 months, they really mean 5-6 hours and even then, it is perfectly normal for some babies not to.

They also go through periods of sleep regression. So, a baby that can usually sleep 6+hours will be getting up every 2-3 hours. C has been through this several times and it is frustrating when she had been sleeping great just a couple days before.

Have you tried CIO at all? I usually wait to see if C will fall back to sleep before going in there. Sometimes she falls back to sleep and sometimes she just screams louder.

Try to hang in there, soon you will not be able to get her out of bed.

spainy17 · February 2014

Yeah, I did light CIO for naps and I wait at night because sometimes she will fuss a bit and settle right back. She had a totally different sounding cry that just escalates once she decides that she wants help. As we get closer to morning I'm faster about going in because at that point I try to keep her settled otherwise she sometimes has a rougher time getting back to sleep.

Sep5Bride · February 2014

My daughter started sleeping through the night around 7 months, but not until we did some sleep training. I know that not everybody wants to do sleep training, so I'm definitely not pushing it, but there were other things in Dr. Ferber's book that I thought were very helpful too. It may be worth a read, just to see if there are components that you like and feel comfortable implementing.

For example, if DD woke up when it was a time I didn't think she actually needed to eat, DH would go in to comfort her instead of me. She had been nursing 3 times a night, so we used this method to gradually back up her nighttime feedings until she was able to go all night without nursing.

I also learned that it is normal for all of us to wake up multiple times a night between sleep cycles, we just normally go back to sleep right away without remembering it. My daughter cries or wimpers between sleep cycles, and I realized that by responding every time I thought she "woke up," I was actually waking her more and getting her riled up. Now if she cries during the night I check the video monitor first. If she's standing up I know she actually awake and I go in there, but if she's still laying down I leave her alone and she falls back sleep within a minute or two.

I still nurse DD at bedtime, but I put her down in her crib and leave the room before she's fully asleep. I've noticed if I linger too long she'll start to cry, making me think she needs to be picked back up, but if I don't linger she will settle down almost instantly once I close the door. I think this is helpful too, because if she falls asleep in my arms, and then wakes up a couple hours later and she's now in her crib alone she'll be upset. If she falls asleep alone, it's not as startling to wake up alone.

I truly hope all of you mamas get some uninterrupted sleep soon, however it ends up happening. Good luck!

spainy17 · February 2014

PP, all of the points you said are good. I have actually read Ferber's book and another early on to make sure she was getting quality sleep and it really helped turn her into a 5x a day 30 minute napper to a 2x a day 90 minue napper. And the reason I have not done formal sleep training with her is for the reason you mentioned - she does often wake during those sleep cycle changes at night and during naps (i can hear her whimper or talk to herself, sometimes she turns on her crib soother music) and is able to self-soothe back to sleep. This tells me that when she is up crying and not self soothing it means she actually wants me for something (even if it is just cuddles) not just using me as a crutch to get back to sleep. If she was doing it every sleep cycle then it would be time to intervene but I know she can do it so it is hard for me emotionally to wrap my head around "training" her not to at this point. I know every baby and situation is different and I absolutely know that this is why she is still waking 1-2x a night but I come here to see if there are others out there like me or that were like me that the babies eventually "got it" without sleep training. I know it will take longer, my fragile heart just cannot do anything else just yet.

Sep5Bride · February 2014

Good luck, @spainy17. Please know my comments were only meant to be helpful in case they were things you hadn't thought of yet, not to say that you should sleep train. It sounds like you know what you are doing, and your daughter is getting what she needs.

spainy17 · February 2014

@Sep5bride, I didn't think that at all I just wanted to explain my choices up until this point and what you said is really good advice! Every situation is different and the reason I love our board so much is that people not only care enough to give advice but we give it nicely and listen to individual situations. I was just giving more information on what we were doing and why. Thank you for helping, that's why I post! :-)

ReeceFamily · February 2014

I just wanted to add that recent studies are showing that, if your LO sleeps through the night, it's luck/genetics and not anything you are or aren't doing.

https://www.babble.com/baby/genetics-to-blame-for-babys-night-time-sleep-habits/

DD has literally never slept through the night and at this point I don't really expect her to, I guess (and I secretly think that people who say their LO sleeps through the night are lying to make the rest of us feel bad

). Her pattern is to sleep for 3-5 hours starting at around 7 p.m., and then she wakes hourly from about midnight to 3 or 4 a.m.; at which points she gets another block of 2-4 or so hours of sleep. The only reason I get sufficient sleep is that we bedshare, so I can doze on and off during her more wakeful period.

You are definitely not alone, and sounds like you are doing an awesome job!

SarahBBowers · February 2014

Privacy-did you have to stop breastfeeding overnight to get pregnant again? I am curious about this because DD just turned a year and I haven't had my cycle back yet! DD still nurses a couple of times overnight and I wonder if thats why?

I want to get KU again lol!

SarahBBowers · February 2014

ok thanks!

URMySunshine77 · February 2014

SarahBBowers said:

Privacy-did you have to stop breastfeeding overnight to get pregnant again? I am curious about this because DD just turned a year and I haven't had my cycle back yet! DD still nurses a couple of times overnight and I wonder if thats why?
I want to get KU again lol!

Me too, @SarahBBowers!

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