DH wants a Junior? WWYD?

Kaylee524 · February 2014

Wasn't sure if this needed to be in the baby names board, but I'll try it here first.

So, DH has always wanted our first baby boy to be named after him - both first & middle names. I don't hate his name, but I just really wish that we could come up with our own name for our baby, instead of reusing the name that DH's parents came up with for him. I've tried just about every rational explanation to try and change his mind and made suggestions such as using a different middle name, using DH's first name as LO's middle name, etc. - and he's just not having it. I guess my biggest questions are: How far do I push on this? What would you do in this situation? TIA!

usernewname · February 2014

Hmm. Would this baby be the second then?

I'm not a fan of using the same exact name. But in a lot of families it works. We picked our own middle names to use as this LOs middle name as it's both our grandparents - depending on what gender this little bunny is.

I'm sure there is a compromise you both can find. Or do you have a name you both like and can use his first name or middle name?

Sorry if I'm not much help. Just thinking out loud.

tjkdlhb · February 2014

No way in hell I'd be having a JR.

DH wanted our LO to be named after his brother. Not happening. I'm not having a "little ___" or a "_____ junior".

We fought for 9 months last time over this and it's the entire reason we found out the sex this time, so we'd know if it was till an issue...we've since found an alternate name.

Unknown · February 2014

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Mimaloo · February 2014

I can't stand the junior thing. I just told DH it's not an option and that I wouldn't sign the birth certificate with a junior or II on it. He knows me well enough to not push the issue any further.

ETA: I love DH's name btw. I just don't want two of them.

chillypenguin · February 2014

My husband is a III, so of course both times we got the questions about if there would be a IV.. No way. Luckily, we have 2 girls, but my husband was on board. It's been confusing his whole life to have the same name as his father and grandfather. I think in theory he would like to have a IV, but wouldn't actually do it. Plus, his first name is a little dated (he goes by his middle name), so that plays into it too. I personally don't like juniors, so I would push hard. I think both parents should be happy with the name.

Kaylee524 · February 2014

Carpenter627 said:

Not sure I can give much advice since this was never on the table for us. DH's middle name is Linsey and he's not a fan. You might bring up things like when your son is a teenager and gets phone calls at the house, it could be confusing. (But do people have landlines anymore?) What is it that you don't like about your H's name? Sorry I'm not more help.

I don't *not* like DH's name - I just wanted us to be able to pick our own name, and I think it will be ridiculously confusing to have a son & husband with the same name. His name is Benjamin - most people call him Ben but I call him either - and I just can't think of a good nickname that we could use for LO to keep from confusing the two.

dragossoul84 · February 2014

The Junior thing was really special to my brother and Dad. My mom wasn't a huge fan but it meant a ton to my dad and my brother really appreciated it growing up. Honestly I was a little bummed when DH didnt want a junior after seeing how special it was in my family.

ilovemycarats · February 2014

My husband has the same first name as his father & grandfather - they all have different middle names.
It is so confusing when having a conversation - u always have to use "big" or "little", even their mail is so confusing. We actually got a
Kohls charge statement sent to our house by mistake even though it was his fathers!
Please save yourself the biggest headache and refuse to have your son be named the same as your husband. The same name causes wayyyy to much of an unnecessary headache.

spinsoffresonance · February 2014

Veganlady said:

I think both of you have veto power. If you hate it, you should be able to say so and junior doesn't happen. You don't need a better reason than 'I don't want to."

Exactly this. I can't stand juniors. DH mentioned it once and I shut it down right away. Also vetoed DH's first name as LO's MN. I've also been playing the Jewish card. I told him we don't name babies after living relatives, it's bad luck. We'll be using DH grandpa or grandma's name for our LO's MN.

MrsT2008 · February 2014

What's his middle name? is it an option to call the baby that or some variation of it?

kalette · February 2014

Well... you get to sign the birth certificate.. haha

alphalyrae · February 2014

If you don't want a JR, I'd say the name is off the table. You both should get an equal say in your son's name.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

If you don't want to use the name, he can't make you. It isn't a done deal. Tell him no and to come up with others, if he doesn't have other names he loves before the birth, then you will choose something and sign the birth cert. I think it is crazy for one person to dig their heels in and essentially expect to get their own way by not budging.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

jenna3878 said:

DH shares his dads first name. In order to prevent confusion when he was growing up, his parents always called him by his middle name. It is super confusing now because everyone he works with calls him his first name and everyone he grew up with (and me!!) calls him his middle name. That was off the table when we discussed names. It's a nice tradition, but using dad's name as middle name or some other link would be just as effective without creating confusion or coming up with some other daily use name or nickname anyways.

My BIL is like this. He immediately told my sister he didn't want to do any form of name sharing. lol.

rainydayluck · February 2014

I agree that both parents need to agree.

Also, have you seen the thread on first tri about this? The dad has a twin brother with the same name, the dad's father and uncle (I think) have the same name as the twins and the dad wants the new baby to have the same name too.

ABColeslaw · February 2014

rainydayluck said:

I agree that both parents need to agree.
Also, have you seen the thread on first tri about this? The dad has a twin brother with the same name, the dad's father and uncle (I think) have the same name as the twins and the dad wants the new baby to have the same name too.

Yeah eff that.

Veronika902 · February 2014

Im actually going thru the same exact thing.. My issue is that we used to joke (before i got preg) about a jr and we both kind of agreed on it, but i came across a different name (that i looovee) and every time i bring it up to my husband, he like freaks out and gets really upset about it.. Saying we both agreed you cant go back on it now.. So im kinda stuck like do i do what he wants? Or do i just go with what i want? Idk its a tough decision and of you and your man can come to an agreement that would be awesome...cuz were still stuck! Good luck to you!!

flutepharm87 · February 2014

Jr's in DH's family are like a family tradition. The first born son is always the same first/middle name. So frustrating! But it doesn't really sound like this is the case for your DH's family, so I would ask him why it's so important to him. DH really wanted a junior as well, but when I explained my side (that it would unfair to name our first born twin boy after him and deny the second one that honor by virtue of being born 33 seconds later was unfair) he was willing to drop it.

Maybe when you hear why it's important you'll come around. However, if you don't, I'm of the opinion that the name doesn't get used. The kid is yours and your DH's, so I think you both have to agree for the name to get used.

DH and I had fits over this little guy's middle name (first name is Robert, middle name is Liam). I had pushed for Emil (it's his Opa's middle name and we haven't honored that part of the family yet). He explained that, since he didn't even meet them until he was 23 years old, he felt uncomfortable using the name and giving them that honor. So I dropped it and we settled on Liam. You're going to be using this name for the rest of your lives, so you both need to love it.

Sorry for the rambling!

Y I Oughta · February 2014

I won't do a junior. His parents had the chance to give their son a name they loved. Why should you be denied that chance because he is being hard headed. Tell him you outright refuse just as he outright refuses to consider any other name. He is not allowed to say his parentst get the right to name your son.

If anyone were asking if they should let their DH's parents name their child regardless of the mothers choice I'm sure every single person on this board would tell her to stand her ground and tell them no. To me this is the same thing. It's like your DH is saying it;s ok to let me parents name your child whether you like it or not

whse13kittens · February 2014

without reading the rest of the replies, i'll tell you this: DH is a junior and he HATES it. my stepdad is a junior and he HATES it. my grandfather is a junior and he HATES. IT. they all have had issues with credit reporting and the wrong thing getting put on their credit reports. they have all had important mail (w2s, checks, etc) delivered to the wrong address. and they all wish they had a different name.

i wouldn't ever do it (also, DH threatened to divorce me if i even suggested a third, lol)

Unknown · February 2014

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mirdamae03 · February 2014

I'm not a fan. My dad is a Jr. And he hated it. DH has a great name, but no way in hell would I agree to a jr. For some people it works, but nms for my own children.

Jillzy86 · February 2014

I would never do a junior myself and if you don't like it then put your foot down and go back to the drawing board. It's both your child not just his. Is there a way you could comprimise? My brother wasn't a big fan of having a junior but his wife really wanted to, so they compromised with a name similar to his. My brothers name is Matthew Scott and he named his first son Mateo Scott. Its not a jr. but it gives the same vibe.

Mrsgattis11 · February 2014

My Bil in a junior and hates it. He told me he has never felt like he had his own identy and it's confusing when the whole family is together.

Storrmys · February 2014

My soon to be DH is a III. He doesn't use either his first or middle name.. in fact it was several months into our relationship before I knew his actual name ( he doesn't like it at all ). Everyone calls him Trey.
And I was so glad too since I'm not a fan of his real name.. is that terrible ?

Kaylee524 · February 2014

rainydayluck said:

I agree that both parents need to agree.
Also, have you seen the thread on first tri about this? The dad has a twin brother with the same name, the dad's father and uncle (I think) have the same name as the twins and the dad wants the new baby to have the same name too.

Yeah, I saw that one. That's just nuts. As far as I know, DH is the only Benjamin in his family, but his middle name is a name that's been used as a first name over and over again - currently with his grandfather and his uncle (who I do not get along with). That's why naming LO after DH and calling him by his middle name would be difficult too.

Kaylee524 · February 2014

Thanks everybody for your answers! I think I am going to try my veto power on the same first and middle name and see if we can agree on a different middle name that we can call LO by.

Have a great Tuesday!

Lild09 · February 2014

My DH said and I quote " he will always carry one of my names" meaning his last name! This little guy will forever have the same family name and carry it on

my DH also hates the idea of junior or name sharing lol thank goodness!

ABColeslaw · February 2014

I guess I don't understand why men want another one of themselves so bad. I mean I enjoy my first name and if it wasn't my name I would have considered it for a girl, but it is my name so it if off the damn table.

Mbecker912 · February 2014

Can you do a different middle that's what I'm doing.... And we are calling him DJ I don't love it but it was really important to my H that the baby has his first name and it's his baby too

ArmyMedic7588 · February 2014

I'm not really much help but this made me laugh at when we thought we were having a boy at first... my bf is a Jr, so if we used the name again obviously baby would be a third. I joked that I was afraid baby would end up with a lisp later in life and trying to say "Tommy the third" would come out as "Tommy the Turd".... that shut up the idea of passing on a family name real fast!

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