baby sitter issues

kkrolik3399 · February 2014

So i Have a 14 week old. She is generally a pretty good baby but like all normal babies she has her fussy days/moments. I work full time.....she is with my mom 3 days a week and a babysitter 2 days a week. I have been back towork for 4 weeks so she has been at the sitters a total of 6 days so far. 4 of those times I show up to get her and the sitter tells me how she cries all day long and wont nap. Monday when I picked her up she said that she refused to eat screaming thru her bottle and for 3 hours after that.she had only drank 2 ounces from her in a 9 hour period I brought her home concerned maybe she was sick Let her sleep a bit more and then woke her up. When she woke up she drank 8 ounces of formula in literally 5 minutes (she normally only drinks 5 at a time) and she was as cheer as can be. She does not have any of these problems with me or My mom. Im not saying my child is perfect but I feel uneasy that most of the time I get horrible reports. She also has 3 boys of her own at home with the youngest bieng just a few monthes older then my daughter. I dont know if maybe she isnt paying as much attention because she has her kids there? with it bieng my first Im not sure what to think. My husband thinks something doesnt add up and wants to look in to other sitters but I honestly dont know If I should do that or if I am just jumping the gun. Any opinions welcome

Helenahhandbasket · February 2014

A 14 week old is still really getting used to the world, and it may take some time for your LO to get used to the new schedule (regardless of the sitter). 4 weeks is not a lot of time to get used to a new routine, and TBH, my DD had lots of issues napping at that age. She couldn't nap unless someone was holding her, actually.

That being said, it might not sound like this is not the right fit for you. I would probably also be worried that the woman has 3 kids at home with her (all young, I assume?) and might not be giving your LO her full attention or have a ton of patience.

I think it can hurt to look around for other help. Ask around -- friends, co-workers and relatives can be all good people to ask for reccomendations.

Good luck-- I know it's hard and confusing the first weeks back to work.

jf198400 · February 2014

I wouldn't be too concerned about her not napping, b/c most daycare babies have trouble napping too. With 3 other kids there it's probably too exciting for her to sleep. I don't know about her not eating though. BF babies can be difficult with bottles, but she takes formula, so to me I would feel like the sitter isn't doing enough to get her to eat. I would probably be looking for a new sitter b/c it just doesn't feel like the best fit.

sillygirlio · February 2014

I am a daycare provider. I think it's really important that children have a solid routine, meaning it would be best for her to be in the same place every day. I think that would solve your issue. Your baby is probably unhappy going, seemingly at random, from a quiet house with full attention to a house with another baby and two big kids.

Also, I just want to say that it irks me when people assume that providers aren't "doing enough" to get a child to eat/sleep/what have you. You can not *make* another person eat, that's called abuse. Trust me, no one wants to spend the day with a baby who has not eaten in hours. It's miserable. That poor woman has probably tried everything she can think of to get your baby to eat.

On the topic of how she tells you about the day, it sounds to me like she's only doing this as a way to stay home with the kids and if that's the case you are probably going to hear some whining. People seem to think that anyone can work in child care, but the truth is it's an EXTREMELY difficult job and I suspect she is learning that the hard way. If you don't like that you should look for something else.

Finally, as a professional, it's possible you're taking her comments too personally. I always tell the parents if we're having issues like that, and I don't sugar coat. If your child is being a major brat or super clingy, I'm going to tell you! It's not because I want to blame you, it's because a child's behavior is likely a symptom of something else and it's your job to work on those issues at home. To be clear, obviously babies are not capable of being "brats" but if my child screamed for hours and didn't eat I would want to know.

shannm · February 2014

I think it is normal that an infant may have a hard time adjusting. However, I think that the right person for the job (i.e. in a partnership with you) would be able to make you feel like they were on top of it, perhaps demonstrating things that she tried, or making suggestions for you to discuss. Kind of put you at ease despite the issue.

After six days of having a person tell me that my baby was crying all day, I would feel unnerved too. If the sitter's way of communicating with you is giving you the impression that she is not the best caregiver (whether that is true or not), then it is time for you to look elsewhere for something that clicks with you better.

fitmom82 · February 2014

I disagree about it being normal for an infant to have trouble adjusting. When I left both my kids with a sitter/DC for the 1st time at 6 months they were fine. It wasn't until around 1 1/2 that separation anxiety hit. Babies that young are usually pretty easy going. We used a SAHM w/ our 1st one. I loved that her kids were in school and she only had 1 other kid to watch. If she was watching 3 of her own kids I wouldn't have felt comfortable with my LO there, that's pretty overwhelming, plus if it's only your LO the 2 days, they have their own family routine going 5 days a week, I doubt they're adjusting well to another infant the other 2 days.

thedash · February 2014

That sounds like too many kids and I wonder if she is overwhelmed and not able to give your LO enough time and attention. How old are her other 2?

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