Kids say the darndest things

dobbyisfree · February 2014

I love stuff out of the mouths of babes. Anyone else have a kid say something funny to them about their pregnancy? We just told my 7 yr old niece about the baby yesterday, and she immediately started looking in my jacket for the baby. When she felt my phone that was in my pocket she started whooping 'I felt its arm!! Thats so NICE!' Hahaha

jensavicci · February 2014

I posted this a little while back but before he knew I was pregnant, my son said my stomach was big and gushy and accused my DW for buying me too many nachos again lol he's sweet but he's blunt.

lindslalala · February 2014

Nothing about my pregnancy, but DH just got a large tattoo on his forearm. As soon as DS(almost 2) saw it he yelled "oh no! Dada boo boo!!". We cracked up.

seells · February 2014

My DD who is 3 1/2 was sitting on the couch thinking and she looks at me and goes:

"Mommy, the baby is in your tummy right? Where does it poop? (Gets horror stricken look on her face) Is it pooping in there?! Tell it to use my potty!!"

Turtle0806 · February 2014

We told my in laws at Christmas. My SIL told my niece to run up to my tummy and say, "Hi, cousin!" Everyone thought it was adorable. Then my niece got a weird look on her face. I told her that there is a baby in my tummy. As a look of horror came across her face, she whispered, "That's terrible!" Everyone was confused for a split second, then we started laughing. We realized that, being only 3, she thought I had eaten the baby. How else would a baby get in someone's tummy, right?

glitterclaws · February 2014

My pregnancy has forced my sister to have the - where do babies come from - talk. I'm learning that there's the birds and the bees talk, and then there are the follow up questions. And it's the follow up questions that will kill you.

My nephew is 9. Last week it was - well, when people have sex, where do they do it? And after my sister told him in a bedroom, he asked, well, when aunt C and uncle M had sex in their bedroom, where were the dogs? Did they put them outside? And as soon as they were done having sex, is that when they call the doctor to tell them about the baby?

Yeah, I'm so not looking forward to those conversations!

beff12 · February 2014

I'm a FTM, but my kids at school have plenty of wonderful thoughts about pregnancy...

When I announced: "That's great. I think you're going to be in a lot of pain."

A couple weeks ago: "So, when you have your baby, are you going to get it taken out by surgery...or...are you going to do it...the OTHER way?!"

dobbyisfree · February 2014

I don't know how I ever made it through school. I'm trying to do our taxes but I keep wandering to this browser instead. So much more interesting...

bgoodbpar · February 2014

Sorta pregnancy related but sore boobs and a toddler elbow constantly finding its way into them caused me to tell my DS to be careful with mommy's boobies...why did I say "boobies"... Now he says "mommy's boom-butts" .. Even said it, loudly, when we passed the bra department at target ..."look mommy, boom-butts".. Smh...

Buttercup509 · February 2014

Bpargood said:
Sorta pregnancy related but sore boobs and a toddler elbow constantly finding its way into them caused me to tell my DS to be careful with mommy's boobies...why did I say "boobies"... Now he says "mommy's boom-butts" .. Even said it, loudly, when we passed the bra department at target ..."look mommy, boom-butts".. Smh...

This happened to me too, but DD clearly says boobies. She even points and says "boobies!" when we're at the grocery store. It could be worse, right?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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bluejeanbaby1217 · February 2014

My 22 month old lifted up his shirt the other day to show me his belly and then said "Anna" (his new baby sisters name) at least he's starting to understand the idea lol

TallMomma29 · February 2014

I haven't got any pregnancy related comments from kids yet, but I already get "Mommy, that lady is SO BIG!" and "How did you grow so big?!" and "you are way taller than my dad so you must be SUPER OLD!" type comments from kids all. the. time. I can't wait to hear what they have to say when I'm not only super tall but I also have a jumbo baby belly ;-)

Kabee4 · February 2014

My students had great comments.

"Does it hurt when the baby comes out of your belly button?"

"Are you going to have a water birth?" (This second grader knows a little too much)

"I think you should have a girl so she can marry my little brother"

"Can we name it? bobby bobby bobby"
(Apparently if you chant it makes it stick)

littlemissmarla · February 2014

FTM but I teach Pre-k, one of my kids randomly looked at me and said "Miss Marla, my intuition tells me your going to have a girl." I was so creeped out, especially because he's 4 and used the word "intuition" in the right context.

I should ask him what numbers to play in the lottery..

A couple more weeks and ill find out if his intuition was right

littlemissmarla · February 2014

csmith0085 said:
My pregnancy has forced my sister to have the - where do babies come from - talk. I'm learning that there's the birds and the bees talk, and then there are the follow up questions. And it's the follow up questions that will kill you.

My nephew is 9. Last week it was - well, when people have sex, where do they do it? And after my sister told him in a bedroom, he asked, well, when aunt C and uncle M had sex in their bedroom, where were the dogs? Did they put them outside? And as soon as they were done having sex, is that when they call the doctor to tell them about the baby?

Yeah, I'm so not looking forward to those conversations!

Hahaha this had me cracking up.. Yup after sex get on your phone and call the doc

"Hey doc we just banged and I'm prego!"

If only it were that easy lol

Fletch82 · February 2014

My niece is almost 4 yrs and was really hoping for a girl cousin. When I told her the baby is a boy she cried out "Nooo boys are stinky!"

LenaLove · February 2014

My DD really wants a sister. We told her that we don't get to choose, that God decides if it is a boy or a girl. The other day she brought it up again, but told me, "We don't get to choose, God chose, and he chose a girl."

She will not be pleased if this baby is a boy.

She also asked how the baby gets out, so I wold her that it will come out of my vagina, and she looked at me incredulously and said, "No, that is TOO SMALL. A baby can't come out of a vagina. It's going to come out of your leg. Or maybe your belly button."

Okay then.

mdaniels4813 · February 2014

I was on the phone with my step mom today and she was talking to my little brother, who is 3, that I was having a baby and that he was going to be an uncle. He was like, "So Dad's going to be the grandpa?!? And you're going to be the grandma?" It made me crack up. He's the one of the cutest kids I've met, though I might be a bit biased. My dad then called me the devil, to which I had to say at least he was in his 40's and not 27 like his wife. I'm excited to have more of this kid in my life now that they stay in contact because of the baby.

AmericanInOz · February 2014

dd told me yesterday that when the baby is born it can go home with her aunty. I said no, the baby will come to our house. She insisted that will NOT be the case..... yea umm that's so not going to happen ha ha. I think she's torn between being excited / sad about losing her only child status!

Myanswer true · February 2014

Turtle0806 said:

We told my in laws at Christmas. My SIL told my niece to run up to my tummy and say, "Hi, cousin!" Everyone thought it was adorable. Then my niece got a weird look on her face. I told her that there is a baby in my tummy. As a look of horror came across her face, she whispered, "That's terrible!" Everyone was confused for a split second, then we started laughing. We realized that, being only 3, she thought I had eaten the baby. How else would a baby get in someone's tummy, right?

My goddaughter is the same age and had the exact same reaction, lol. She's still acting leery of me.

Athenanolen · February 2014

My nephew told me last night, "you look really full... Like you ate too much." I could not stop laughing!

helloblueeyes · February 2014

My little sis is 6 and is constantly freaking about about the fact that I'm going to "change shape." We told her I would have to get bigger to accommodate the baby and she really doesn't want me to. Though the other she said she can see that I'm changing shape, I looked at my mom and was like kid is calling me fat! Lol.

VTKatie · February 2014

I had a friend tell me that kids have some kind of intuition about babies, and if they are a boy or girl (who knows where that's from!) I asked my 3 year old nephew to say hi to the baby and tell me his thoughts on the matter. He walked up to me, rubbed my boob, and very matter of factly said "it's definitely a girl". He ended up being right!

fmb2011 · February 2014

@VTKatie, I think that's true to a certain extent! My DD was always saying the funniest stuff when she was little. She's used to say grace at dinner time when I was pregnant with DD2 and she always would add "please bless the baby in momma's belly and make it a girl" LOL...she got her wish. Now she says she'll pray it's a boy so her big brother can have a little brother. We'll see in a couple weeks if it works

BW1088 · February 2014

These made me smile!

DD isn't quite 2, so she's still struggling to understand what we're talking about when we say "Mommy's going to have a baby," but she's sure trying! She gets the doppler out and puts the wand on her tummy and says, "Shh, Mama! Wisten to bebe!"

She also randomly pulls my shirt up to proudly show other people the "bebe." We're working on that one...

ashcross · February 2014

I love these!!!

Nichole8787 · February 2014

First of all this is a GREAT thread! I was cracking up the whole time! I have a story that actually happened today. I am a nanny and care for a spunky three year old girl and a very intelligent five year old. Today I told them that their was a baby in my belly. This was the conversation...

3 year old: "Where is the baby?"

5 year old: "It's in her tummy"

3 year old: "How do you know it's in her tummy?"

5 year old: "Because her tummy sticks out like a big bump"

3 year old looks at me and says: " Ohhhh one baby in your tummy. Do you have two babies in your chest?"

I died laughing! I guess she thought that if the "big bump" on my stomach was the baby that the "big bumps ( my breast) on my chest are 2 babies! Children's logic!

jessie55 · February 2014

When I was about 12 weeks, before we told them, 5 yo DS told me that I had a fat belly like there was a baby in there. Hes lucky he was right!

Csltdk · February 2014

My 4 yr old nephew asked me if I have a boy can I pleaaaase name him hulk? And if it's a girl pleaaaase name her black widow?

kwaz01 · February 2014

One of my 5 year old students said "aren't you and your husband scared because they are going to have to cut you open to get the baby out". Another thinks if you push really hard in your stomach the baby comes out. I need to write these down

lnicole82 · February 2014

My 4 year old son loves to kiss my belly. The other day he asked me about the "stripes." Sigh....

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