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Update to Heavyish...

hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member
in One & Done: Only child
So, DH and I had a huge discussion over the weekend, which is what prompted my thread in the first place.

After writing the thread I decided to email him as a follow up to this weekend.  I told him I loved him and have loved him since I met him, but that I could feel the romantic feelings disappearing.  I told him I was scared that if we didn't intervene we would end up separated in 5-10 years and that I wanted to intervene while we both still wanted this. I told him that the things in our relationship (my passion, his patience) that made us strong also push us apart.  I told him that I thought he was wonderful, but that he was in a personal rut.

He wrote me the BEST response.    He said he feels similar about the romantic feelings and that he thinks that we are lazy because we really have no real consequence of being not lazy.  When we were younger, we had to try or the other person would find someone else, and now we are (luckily) secure that it breeds indifference.

Then, he went on to discuss some of his personal issues (being in a rut, lack of spontaneity, giving more to DD) and how he was sorry and wanted to try therapy to get back to where we were and that he could not picture his life without me.

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Re: Update to Heavyish...

  • eyenigheyenigh member
    That's great. It's really good that he's willing to do therapy-- a lot of men won't.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • JackoftheBoxJackoftheBox member
    Shut up your going to make my heart hurt. That's wonderful!!! 

    I wish I could email DH. He's not really a techy kind of guy though. 
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  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member
    JackoftheBox said:
    Shut up your going to make my heart hurt. That's wonderful!!! 

    I wish I could email DH. He's not really a techy kind of guy though. 
    It is easier for me to put things in writing.  DH and I are both working now, so it is an easy way to communicate.

    I tend to rile myself up and get bitchy if I talk about emotional relationship stuff in person, so this saves me BIG TIME :)

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Yay! Good news. :)
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  • coastalmainecoastalmaine member
    I am late to read your thread but am so glad you got a positive response from DH. I feel like I could have written your original post...this is the exact situation I am in with DH. He isn't doing anything wrong...things have just gone flat...and it has been like that for awhile. I also wish he emailed but he's a builder and rarely goes online. Whenever we try to talk about it...it ends up in a defensive sort of conversation on both sides. Anyway, it sounds like you have made a step in the right direction!
    Chemical Pregnancy 2001, Married 8/8/09, TTC April 2011, BFP 5/8/11, Missed M/C @ 9wk5d, D&C 6/21/11 BFP 11/13/11 Chase Everett born at 29wks 0 days on 5/7/12 at 2 lbs 14 oz, 14 1/2 inches long.
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