Babies on the Brain

Trying but not planning...

Hello! My husband and I have been married for one and a half years. I have been on the pill for awhile and we decided that after the next package is gone, that will be my last. So we will basically be off of it in about one month. I am really excited about not being on the pill anymore, but we are not going to chart, temp, or anything like that. We are just going to act normally and when it happens, it happens. I just feel like sometimes people get so crazed with planning and then get really upset when it doesn't happen as quickly as they want it to. I think it will be a nice surprise for us when it does finally happen. Just wondering other people's experience with trying, but not really trying. Thank you!

Re: Trying but not planning...

  • Welcome.

    I am also "trying". But I use ovulation prediction kits. And sex lol. So far we are going on the 4th month. Fyi: I am assuming it is because I just got off birth control pills and everything is out of whack. Holefully it will happen soon.I really do not see myself going too crazy with the tempimg and other things.
  • sadeathesadeathe member
    edited February 2014
    For my first pregnancy, this was our plan, too.  I signed up for fertility friend right before I found out I was pregnant.  It took us three cycles to get pregnant.  I hope that you can enjoy this time because I was all nerves during each two week wait. :)
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  • Glad to hear all of your stories! I'm thinking if after 9 to 12 months nothing happens then maybe I would start charting or something, my obgyn told me that women under 35 that try for one year and don't get pregnant to seek fertility advice and for those over 35 yrs old trying 6 months and don't get pregnant to then seek help. I am 30 years old.
  • shaina925shaina925 member
    edited February 2014
    Sounds like you all had pretty good luck, too :)
  • As long as you're well aware that more likely than not your cycle will not be "normal" after coming off of BCP for a few months, so you won't have any idea when your 2 week wait is actually happening because you aren't temping and charting, then there's no problem with the route you're going.  With our first, we went this route (I didn't know anything about charting, etc... at that point).  We were lucky and did get pregnant within 3 months of coming off BCP, but was actually our first month of NTNP.  Second time around I chose to chart simply because I wanted to know when to expect my period.  It had nothing to do with trying for #2, though it was a benefit to know when my fertile window was.
  • :( I don't think the rest of us are crazy because we want to give ourselves the best chance of conceiving. I enjoy temping and also used it as birth control before ttc. We could avoid my fertile window without the use of hormones. We will continue using it in the future as well. I've loved learning about my body through fertility awareness.

    Everyone is different - if actively trying would stress you out then that is understandable. But on the other side, I would be stressed out to get a BFN and not know if we could have done something differently to help our chances. I like knowing that I ovulated, knowing how our timing was, and also looking for my temp to drop the day AF is coming. It is reassuring to me, not the other way around. :) It literally takes 1 minute a day and gives me a wealth of information to show my OB if we get pregnant or if it takes a while to conceive. 
  • Kimbus22 said:
    This time around I just stopped taking the pill and didn't do anything different and was pregnant in 3 months.  It took a year the first time around when I was actually trying to time everything.
    This.
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  • Sounds like you are in the same boat that I am!  I was on BCPs for over ten years.  Decided to not refill my script in September and just 'see what happens'.  I will say that it was hard... bc as soon as i was off of the pill, I started paying attention and wanting to know what was going on.  Then I started wanting to have sex during certain times of the month.  So I guess, I was trying a little bit subconsciously :)  Still doing the same thing but we are in no hurry.  We would be thrilled if it happens now and still okay if it's a bit out.  But yes, if we hit next September with no luck, we will start temping, OPKs, and talk to the OB. 

    As everyone has said, don't expect your cycle to go back to normal immediately.  Everyone is different. My cycles have been 26,29,30,36,30.  Currently on day 28.  Goodluck!

  • This is what we did.  Our plan was to just go off the pill for a few months and not stress over timing and if we still weren't pregnant by our anniversary (which gave us about 5 cycles of TTC), then I'd start charting.  We ended up getting pregnant on our 4th cycle off the pill, so I ended up not needing to, but I still found it helpful to read TCOYF just to have a little more in depth knowledge of my cycles.
  • That's exactly what I'm doing. I stopped my pills a little while ago and won't start charting or anything.  Honestly, we are followers of /God and are trusting that he will give us a baby when eh thinks we are ready.  
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  • We were also not tempting. I tried it for about a week and I just couldn't make it work with my stupid work/sleep schedule. We just had a loss and I don't plan to start temping this time around. That being said if I start to have anxiety about it taking too long I may try it again and be a little more dedicated to making it work.
  • I am doing the same thing. More for my DH's sanity but the two week wait is killing me!!! 
  • us too :) i am glad i am not the only one. it seems like a lot of people are doing charts, which is their choice of course, but it is nice to be able to relate to other couples. i am only 22 (23 in may) and my husband and i have been married for a year and a half now. I have been off BC pills for 4 and a half months now and we are just riding along. i am actually just enjoying not being on hormones because i think that the pills really effected my libido so now its back!! ;)
    we also believe God will give us the blessing when we are ready, whether it is through charting or not. if we are trying for more than a year and nothing happens, then i think we are going to try charting. then if that takes a year, time for fertility tests. But for now, just waiting (semi-patiently) and enjoying each other <3
  • tvgirl102 said:

    us too :) i am glad i am not the only one. it seems like a lot of people are doing charts, which is their choice of course, but it is nice to be able to relate to other couples. i am only 22 (23 in may) and my husband and i have been married for a year and a half now. I have been off BC pills for 4 and a half months now and we are just riding along. i am actually just enjoying not being on hormones because i think that the pills really effected my libido so now its back!! ;)
    we also believe God will give us the blessing when we are ready, whether it is through charting or not. if we are trying for more than a year and nothing happens, then i think we are going to try charting. then if that takes a year, time for fertility tests. But for now, just waiting (semi-patiently) and enjoying each other <3

    So you trust God will give you a baby when you're ready unless it takes more than a year?

    I think God gave us brains to learn about science and the bodies he gave us.
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  • Not saying that AT ALL!   

    We wanted a baby but weren't sure we were ready, so we decide to leave it God to decide when we are.  I'm all for tracking and charting and stuff if that's your thing, but I'm too lazy, so I'm not doing it.
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