Baby Shower pet peeves

Myanswer true · February 2014

Saw a thread like this while lurking on the June14 board, and thought I'd ask the question to you ladies.

While it is commonly agreed that a shower is a gift to you and you technically get no say, what are some of the things you're desperately hoping NOT to have done for your shower?

Mine (which I've discussed with my mom and aunt, who are all about me helping to "theme" plan my shower) are as little pink as possible if Sprout turns out to be a girl, and to avoid crepe paper anything if possible. I just have this burning hatred of crepe paper for adult parties (which a baby shower barely qualifies as). I still go "grr" when I see the white crepe paper wedding bells in the pic of DH and I cutting the cake at our wedding (only place they used them, thank God), haha.

lindslalala · February 2014

My one and only request for my shower for DS was no melted candy bars in diapers game. I freaking hate that.

allardr · February 2014

My family is very open to discussing the planning of such events. I didn't want to control so I chose to say minimal except for my biggest opinion. I really wanted it at my parents house vs. a venue. We went a day together to check out venue options then sat down to discuss. I appreciated having the input since I hate being center of attention so the more low-key, relaxed the location the better. Games, etc. I was like whatever I can do anything for a couple of hours. And decorations were last thing from my mind.

pantherRN · February 2014

No games. At all.

Soon2BMrsN · February 2014

lindslalala said:

My one and only request for my shower for DS was no melted candy bars in diapers game. I freaking hate that.

+1

jessicalynnmontes · February 2014

I was at a shower once where they numbered every person's seat. They then pulled numbered popsicle sticks to pick the participants of the 100 games they had planned out. We spent the whole time wishing we weren't next for another stupid game. IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Mine will be at a venue with about 100 people. I am not a fan of games myself, so my mom and sister have been tossing around the idea of table-only games/activities. Usually they group you with people that you somewhat know at a table. Might make for more fun.

I just find games so cheesy and you always feel obligated to play. When really I feel like just sitting there and eating as many rolls as i can.

cookieinva · February 2014

pantherRN said:

No games. At all.

Yup, obviously no shower this time but this was definitely my wish last time. Fortunately my sisters know how I feel and feel the same so there were no games.

rattlecanqueen · February 2014

pantherRN said:
No games. At all.

This.

AMcLaws · February 2014

NO GAMES! Fortunately, most of my husbands family feels the same way about games at showers. We always put on the invites "come & go" so people know they don't have to expect to be there for 2 hours watching the person open gifts. We always do TONS of food, and the showers are always lovely

TallMomma29 · February 2014

jessicalynnmontes said:

I was at a shower once where they numbered every person's seat. They then pulled numbered popsicle sticks to pick the participants of the 100 games they had planned out. We spent the whole time wishing we weren't next for another stupid game. IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Mine will be at a venue with about 100 people. I am not a fan of games myself, so my mom and sister have been tossing around the idea of table-only games/activities. Usually they group you with people that you somewhat know at a table. Might make for more fun.

I just find games so cheesy and you always feel obligated to play. When really I feel like just sitting there and eating as many rolls as i can.

Wow that is a big shower! I had no idea people had showers that big... I've only been to showers that were in the 20-30 people range.

TallMomma29 · February 2014

rattlecanqueen said:

No games. At all.
This.

Same here. I hate baby shower games. But the only thing I've specifically said is that I do not want the diaper game!

JayBzo · February 2014

Well, I haven't discussed my shower much but my ideal situation would be very low key, no games, and I really wish I did not have to open gifts, but I doubt that will happen. Pet peeves at others' showers are the games and the formality of the event - I want to celebrate but in a relaxed setting - honestly watching you open 400 socks and bibs is super boring but that doesn't mean I don't love your baby! Maybe I can prevent others from feeling this same pain!

gallifreygirl · February 2014

I completely agree about the games. I'm sure there are one or two out there somewhere in the world that aren't annoying but for the most part I don't like them and don't think anyone else does either. Most of the time I think they just come as interruptions right when you're in the middle of a nice conversation.

Unknown · February 2014

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ohbaby714 · February 2014

JayBzo said:
Well, I haven't discussed my shower much but my ideal situation would be very low key, no games, and I really wish I did not have to open gifts, but I doubt that will happen. Pet peeves at others' showers are the games and the formality of the event - I want to celebrate but in a relaxed setting - honestly watching you open 400 socks and bibs is super boring but that doesn't mean I don't love your baby! Maybe I can prevent others from feeling this same pain!

Yes. I am not looking forward to opening gifts in front of everyone. I do not want that kind of attention on me. One game I would agree to is a Bingo game during the gift opening. Check items off your Bingo board once they are opened. Takes some of the focus off you, plus you don't have to participate in that game!

Unknown · February 2014

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Unknown · February 2014

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strmbreez · February 2014

I've pretty much handed responsibility over to those planning. That way... um... I'm not responsible for anyone hating the games, food, drinks, etc. And I suck at planning parties anyway.

youreggoispreggo · February 2014

I've only been to one baby shower and we didn't do much there. One of my friends has already asked me if she can throw a shower and I really appreciate that someone wants to do that for me but I'm a little scared that it's going to look like Pinerest threw up and it might be a lot.

JayBzo · February 2014

Bliss+Berry said:

JayBzo said:

Well, I haven't discussed my shower much but my ideal situation would be very low key, no games, and I really wish I did not have to open gifts, but I doubt that will happen. Pet peeves at others' showers are the games and the formality of the event - I want to celebrate but in a relaxed setting - honestly watching you open 400 socks and bibs is super boring but that doesn't mean I don't love your baby! Maybe I can prevent others from feeling this same pain!

Yeah, I would be annoyed if someone didn't open gifts at their shower. I think it's rude. People are taking time out of their day and spending their money on you. Open the gifts.

Have some music playing in the background and maybe have dessert served while you are opening them.

I agree - but doesn't make me hate it any less!! And I do think some people probably don't care. That being said - we follow tradition here and gifts will be opened. Too bad I can't have a few mimosas to numb the pain!

jessicalynnmontes · February 2014

I think people sometimes do a few different ones. One for one side, one for the other, one for friends. We just have so much family that we can't cut anyone out! It is both of our sides together and a huge group of friends.

I wold prefer something much smaller, or really none at all, but no one seems to let that be an option lol.

dobbyisfree · February 2014

I hate people watching me open stuff. Im always so worried Ill have the wrong look on my face and there will be drama. I also employ the small cousin/niece that loves to tear stuff open method. I do like to play games (Im the only one i guess?) Because otherwise it feels too much like people are only there to eat and give me stuff. I like to give prizes back because thats at least a little exciting. But Im with you guys I dont want to be measured thats obnoxious. And a coworker had everyone take play doh and make a model of her son to be penis... I cringed when I saw those pictures.

Oh! And the thing that I found most obnoxious! She took all the invitations and added a 'Door gift' - something you had to bring in addition to a present! To drop off at the door as you came in. Shampoo and diapers and lotion etc etc. Totally obnoxious!!

AutumnBonfire · February 2014

This is my second, so no shower. For my first, my mom threw my shower, but had it at my house because I have more space. It was nice and casual and I didn't have to go anywhere or transport gifts. She doesn't like games at all, so there were none and she is not into decorations. I didn't care one bit. She bought a few balloons and baby shower theme cups/plates. It was a lot of fun. More like a picnic where I had to open presents. DH, my father, and DH's uncle were there too.

The only problem I had with mine is that a lot of friends came that I hadn't seen in a while, some of them traveled, and I felt I didn't get to spend a lot of time with them. Plus I don't like to be center of attention, so the whole experience was a little awkward, but overall it was fun.

cakebatter27 · February 2014

I hate games. My mom also knows we won't be revealing the sex to anyone because although people are entitled to buy what they want, I hate all pink or all blue outfits. I have a very specific taste of baby clothing. If it somehow slips I'll just be gracious and make a pit stop at goodwill before LO is born.

I also hate venues. One shower will be at my in laws with lots of booze and one will be a back yard baby que here at our house with plenty of alcohol as well. If anyone has to suffer through an adult opening gifts I think they're entitled to a drink or two.

Lola825 · February 2014

Bliss+Berry said:
I have another. I really don't understand the importance some people place on showers. It seems like some use it as an excuse to be the special pretty princess for a day. It's not a wedding or a graduation or some other life changing event. It's just a party with punch and cake where people bring you presents. Nothing more. MTB who feel like they have to control every.single.thing about their showers are Pregzilla's in my book. Also, abnormally large showers (more than 40 guests) because again, it's not a wedding. Showers are for your nearest and dearest, not every one you know.

I read this at first and took it as you saying having a baby isn't as life changing as a graduation or wedding. Good thing I read it again before I made a huge ass of myself disagreeing with you!

My only request ever given for my shower is the presents started getting opened or tissue paper removed at least as theyre handed to me. I actually love seeing gifts at showers but after 2 or 3 hours it's enough already. It sped up the process drastically at my wedding shower.

alohababy14 · February 2014

lindslalala said:

My one and only request for my shower for DS was no melted candy bars in diapers game. I freaking hate that.

My friend who is planning my shower swears we're doing this. I think (hope) she's just messing with me.

fmb2011 · February 2014

Well I'm on #4 so no shower here either and my pet peeve is probably going to sound a bit selfish but I can't stand when people buy nothing but clothes for the baby. And really I'm only saying that because when I had my first I was young and could have really used more practical gifts and I just received a ton of green and yellow clothes (I was team green). Maybe I should have saved this for a FFFC?

knitsandgiggles · February 2014

I've never participated in half of the games mentioned here at the showers I've attended. (Thankfully) I've only ever done gift opening bingo which hasn't been awful. It gives guests something to do while gifts are being opened besides raiding the dessert table or refilling a drink.

MstoMrstoMom851214 · February 2014

Got a little carried away with my response...sorry if this is AW-ish!!

I always prefer showers that feel more like a party or barbecue then a choreographed shower with a set schedule! This is exactly why my parents/MOH threw us a Jack & Jill bridal shower, it was much more like a casual wedding reception: no gift opening or schedules...just food, booze, music and fun! We got a lot of compliments, people were basically shocked that they were actually having fun at a shower!

My baby shower is split up due to location/family situations so as of now I am having three...my mom and her side are throwing me one, my MIL/SIL are throwing me another, and my best friends are throwing me a third. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful but I am also dreading the attention. I hate opening presents in front of everyone, but it's the polite, gracious thing to do so I will suck it up!

My friends shower is likely to be more like a get-together (probably co-ed, or at least including my gay male friends), with food and alcohol for the lucky non-pregnant people and non-traditional games/catching up. My mom and her family tend to throw barbecues with mostly socializing, and maybe a few baby shower-ish activities throw in. My MIL will definitely throw me a snooze-worthy traditional shower, but to be honest that's pretty typical of any gathering involving my in-laws!

sxymamakat · February 2014

I'll join in with liking the gift bingo- it's a happy distraction. Otherwise, I don't really care for the games, and I REALLY don't want to do the stupid candy bar-diaper thing. I'm not sure how big my shower is going to end up- my BF has a HUGE family and his sister-in-law's shower had 90-ish people. I'd CRY if there were that many people, I'd prefer much smaller, but I know they're inviting the "usual" group and that adds up VERY quickly.

redhotmama7 · February 2014

Bliss+Berry said:
I have another. I really don't understand the importance some people place on showers. It seems like some use it as an excuse to be the special pretty princess for a day. It's not a wedding or a graduation or some other life changing event. It's just a party with punch and cake where people bring you presents. Nothing more. MTB who feel like they have to control every.single.thing about their showers are Pregzilla's in my book. Also, abnormally large showers (more than 40 guests) because again, it's not a wedding. Showers are for your nearest and dearest, not every one you know.

I just wanted to say sometimes 40ppl barely gets you out of your immediate family. Between DH and I, we have 16 siblings and around 20 nieces... So my shower will be big but it truly is only my nearest and dearest.

AMcLaws · February 2014

My friend had booze at her shower. It blew me away, because all of the pregnant girls were guzzling down hard liquor like their lives depended on it. I sat in the corner, quietly sipping my ice water. I'm not a drinker anyway. I've done it before. I've had my fun. But I grew up with an alcoholic mother, so I swore I would never drink once I had children. (MY personal stance. I find NOTHING wrong with parents who choose to drink. I do personally find liquor at a baby shower odd. But again, I say to each their own. All that matters is that you enjoy celebrating a beautiful new baby with loved ones)

Myanswer true · February 2014

redhotmama7 said:

I have another. I really don't understand the importance some people place on showers. It seems like some use it as an excuse to be the special pretty princess for a day. It's not a wedding or a graduation or some other life changing event. It's just a party with punch and cake where people bring you presents. Nothing more. MTB who feel like they have to control every.single.thing about their showers are Pregzilla's in my book. Also, abnormally large showers (more than 40 guests) because again, it's not a wedding. Showers are for your nearest and dearest, not every one you know.
I just wanted to say sometimes 40ppl barely gets you out of your immediate family. Between DH and I, we have 16 siblings and around 20 nieces... So my shower will be big but it truly is only my nearest and dearest.

I agree with you, I have a large family, so my shower will most likely be way more than 40 people as well.

tourqeyes · February 2014

^^ To the above thread of posters -- To each their own but that is crazy to me. That's more people than I had at my wedding!! I felt uncomfortable with the amount of time we spent opening gifts with only 10-12 people in attendance, it would feel like a marathon or needing intermissions during unwrapping of gifts with that many people, haha!!

Unknown · February 2014

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tealowl · February 2014

I just don't like baby showers. At all. I don't like going to them. They're boring, they never have booze, I hate watching people open gifts, I hate games, I hate that I spend a Sunday afternoon slogging through one, and I never get a thank you card (I always get them something they need off a registry, or I make an awesome display basket of stuff).

Bridal showers can be more fun sometimes, because theres usually food and booze or a bachlorette party afterwards.

I would be grateful if I got a baby shower and if they threw me a traditional one, I would be so thankful for it. However, something more non-traditional I would prefer (co-ed, food, booze, no games, no tacky decor, etc.)

jnnfrrose6 · February 2014

ashleysyn2 said:

This thread is making me thankful we have our showers after the baby is born. I have never had to play a silly game at one because all the focus is on the baby.

This is what I suggested to my mother when she brought up planning a shower for me. First, I told her this was my second baby so I didn't need/expect a shower, but I appreciated that she (and my family) wanted to do something. Since they do want to do something, I told her I would prefer a sip and see so that everyone can meet the baby and I can have something to look forward to PP.

Of course, this may all change as my SIL is due 2 months before me and I do not expect family to travel twice in one year for baby related things, so if they want to do something for me before hand in conjunction with traveling for her, that's fine.

Unknown · February 2014

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