Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

Concerned...

LHCoxLHCox member
in Adoption
We were very excited to be matched just before Christmas with a birth mom who's baby girl is due at the end of March. She invited us to come to her ultrasound appointment and wants us in the delivery room for the birth. Conversations were going great at the beginning but have really slowed down and are very short now as we are still awaiting her to make her doctor appointment and the ultrasound. Though my husband tells me to remain positive, I can not help but be concerned she may be changing her mind. I think about it all the time! Anyone else been through this? Input or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Concerned...

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    It's pretty common for this to happen. I can imagine this is all becoming very real for her, and she may need time for herself and her baby. From your end,all you can do is keep the lines of communication open and hope for the best. If you're working with an agency, I'd check in with your SW and express your concerns
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • LHCoxLHCox member
    Thank you for your response Dr. Loretta. It does help a bit knowing its pretty common. We have been in contact with the adoption agency, as well as our adoption consultant, and they are working to get us an update. As difficult as it is on us, I can only imagine how extremely difficult this is on the birth mom and pray she is doing alright.
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Report Reply
  • erinmc1erinmc1 member
    Our son's birth mom was 100% positive she wanted to place, and she still took some space for herself in the final weeks. I think it's very normal, as she deals with the most uncomfortable time, physically, and the reality sets in.
    It's nerve wracking, for sure, but try to stay positive unless you have irrefutable proof there's a reason not to be.
    Report Reply
  • daniandbridaniandbri member
    I think how you're feeling is normal. I know during the 5 months we were waiting for baby to arrive, I think I over analyzed everything. If I didn't hear from her it was because she was backing out. If I saw a cryptic facebook post, it was because she was having second thoughts. We have a very open adoption, and relationship with Birth Mom. Because I felt very comfortable with mom, occasionally I would ask how she was feeling, if she was having second thoughts, etc. She would always say that there was so much uncertainty in her life and things she was unsure of, except that she wanted us have her baby. I would always follow up- with a "I'm sorry, just nervous or scared." And we were able to openly share alot of emotions we were both having. It seemed to help us. Again- I think I was fortunate to have known mom before the adoption came up, allowing us to have this bond through out.
    Blessed with 2 amazing little boys. One grew in my tummy and the other my heart.

    06/30/10 my 1st son was born on my birthday. 
    TTC #2 since 05/2011 BFP- Feb 2012, EDD- 11/01/12, m/c- 03/05/12 @ 5w+4d 
    12/20/13 my 2nd son was born and placed in my arms.
    Surprise BFP- Nov 2014, EDD- 8/06/215, mc 12/24/2015 @ 8w+6d
    SURPRISE - BFP- 4/8/2105

    Report Reply
  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    It's certainly a scary time for everyone---- while we were waiting we had pretty consistent contact with our son's mom- and while we'd ask how she was feeling, we'd never ask if she was changing her mind- because we didn't want her to feel pressured or freaked out. Someone told me during my journey that moms who make adoption plans before birth have to chose adoption twice- once before birth and once again afterwards. It's not the most comforting thought- because of the level of uncertainty that exists but it was helpful to have that perspective. At the end of the day, adoption is a choice that a woman makes about the future of her child. And I found comfort in thinking if she could make that choice for a baby while it was growing inside her, that it was entirely possible she'd be able to make that choice again after the baby was born.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • LHCoxLHCox member
    Thank you so much for all of your replies. We did hear more from her this week, as well as the agency...so it was a good week and I am in a much better place emotionally! Everyone told us there is a point where adoption becomes extremely difficult emotionally but since I am not typically very emotional, I wasn't sure what to expect. I am going to try to remain positive and continue praying for the birth mom as she continues down this journey of adoption. I can not tell you how much I appreciate you sharing your experiences and providing your support!
    Report Reply
  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    I'm glad you heard from her. I'll be thinking of you all.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"