Things men say

flkong · February 2014

Me: "Babes", where's the Coco Butter lotion I asked you to buy?

DH: "It's on the table".

Me: "That's Shea butter, not Coco butter".

DH: "Oh, is there a difference? I thought they were the same".

Me: "Shea butter, Coco butter.....no babes...not really. It's 2 different words".

What are some of the things your DH says or does that make you shake your head and say..."Men"?

Kitten80 · February 2014

Everything.

Started after we said, "I do."

flkong · February 2014

^ Lol!

I have another one. I sent DH to the store for Reynolds aluminum foil. He brings back Reynolds saran wrap. I'm like dude, I asked for aluminum foil! He told me I shouldn't have said Reynolds because that made him just look for a Reynolds product so he didn't read the whole thing.

Seriously!? This was on Xmas Eve just before the store closed so I was stuck with Reynolds saran wrap.

But in his defense, it's the Christmas edition so it's red and we'll have it until next Xmas.

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

My husband, bless him, doesn't read labels at the store. Example? He got the Sloppy Joe sauce in a can & brought it home. He really wanted sloppy joes & was very proud of himself. Gets the hamburger bun & opens the can...

I hear from the kitchen, "WTF? Where's the MEAT?!".

I went out to get ground beef because he felt lied to by the can. He was so angry. I restrained myself from giggling but at the butchers I laughed. :P

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

casey78 said:
Context: DH STTN always and has slept alone without even a monitor in the room several nights this week b/c LO and I have not been sleeping well. Getting into bed:

DH: If you take an ambien, how long do you have to wait to feed her?
Me: Too long. 13 hours.
DH: Maybe you should take one tomorrow night - I'll get up in the morning with her.
Me: (hopeful but skeptical) You'll take her overnight, too?
DH: Oh, no. I can't do that. My [fitbit alternative] says I'm getting a lot of REM sleep but not enough time in deep sleep.

Wow.

flkong · February 2014

PrimRoseMama said:

My husband, bless him, doesn't read labels at the store. Example? He got the Sloppy Joe sauce in a can & brought it home. He really wanted sloppy joes & was very proud of himself. Gets the hamburger bun & opens the can... I hear from the kitchen, "WTF? Where's the MEAT?!". I went out to get ground beef because he felt lied to by the can. He was so angry. I restrained myself from giggling but at the butchers I laughed. :P

) Totally something my H would do. Whenever he's putting things together ( baby/home furniture), he says something is missing and the manufacturer forgot to put something in the box. He doesn't read the directions either. But, he gets it up and running every time !

Kitten80 · February 2014

PrimRoseMama said:
My husband, bless him, doesn't read labels at the store. Example? He got the Sloppy Joe sauce in a can & brought it home. He really wanted sloppy joes & was very proud of himself. Gets the hamburger bun & opens the can...

I hear from the kitchen, "WTF? Where's the MEAT?!".

I went out to get ground beef because he felt lied to by the can. He was so angry. I restrained myself from giggling but at the butchers I laughed. :P

Oh my, thank you for the literal LOL. My husband wanted to know why I was laughing so I told him and he smiled, chuckled too.

blairwitch · February 2014

I hear you on the sleep thing. DHs dog has been sleeping worse than newborn as of late. Hes up all night...whining, pacing, etc. He has food, water, and can go in and outside as he pleases. But seems to prefer bothering us. But since his dog kept him up all night he needs to sleep in today.

seriously.

stephyfaith · February 2014

DH doesn't fully read labels either. I've sent him for chocolate ice cream twice and he's brought me lactose free chocolate ice cream and chocolate frozen yogurt. lol

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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redhead610 · February 2014

mermomo5 said:
It's not what dh says it's what dh does. If I send him to the grocery store he calls me 50,000 times, no exaggeration. Where's this where's that generally I'm like do you want a damn map. It's food , find it buy it bring it home. Drives me bonkers.

I wish DH would call me when he can't find something at the store! I sent him for powdered sugar. He came home with nothing and said they didn't have any, only had confectioner's and granulated.

valstulas · February 2014

Mr. Vals is good about reading labels and stuff like that, but his organizational skills suck. I requested next Saturday off from work for both of us and lined up a sitter so we could have our first date night in 2 years. Yep, he totally picked up the shift this morning.

Him: "I didn't know we had plans."
[-X :-q [-( @-) /:)

%-( :-w

TheLittleRedM · February 2014

Ugh. My DH does the same thing. He offered to go for me one day if I had a list so I made it as detailed as ever including where to find everything. He called me at least once for every item on the list.

flkong · February 2014

redhead610 said:

It's not what dh says it's what dh does. If I send him to the grocery store he calls me 50,000 times, no exaggeration. Where's this where's that generally I'm like do you want a damn map. It's food , find it buy it bring it home. Drives me bonkers.
I wish DH would call me when he can't find something at the store! I sent him for powdered sugar. He came home with nothing and said they didn't have any, only had confectioner's and granulated.

)

KTZ17 · February 2014

Your husbands go to the store? :-O

valstulas · February 2014

KTZ17 said:
Your husbands go to the store? :-O

Mr. Vals goes to the store every day. He's on first-name basis with everyone who works there. Before we leave, he says, "Okay boys, time to go visit our friends at Shaw's."

Homeboy needs to get out more.

valstulas · February 2014

mermomo5 said:
It's food , find it buy it bring it home.

)

flkong · February 2014

KTZ17 said:

Your husbands go to the store? :-O

@KTZ17 After years and years of fussing, pleading and bargaining....yes, he finally goes to the store. He actually goes full grocery shopping now. And I'm making jokes about him but over all, he's pretty good for a guy. :P

Melissa0926432 · February 2014

DH is good about going to the store but you have to be very very specific and have to give him back up options. For example if you are in the mood for cookies you have to say "hey DH I want cookies go to the store and get oreos but if they don't have oreos get chocolate chip and if they don't have those get sugar". Because if you just say "hey I want cookies can you go get oreos" and they are out of oreos it doesn't occur to him to come home with a different similar item.

Cookies were just an example but he does that for everything

[Deleted User] · February 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

martyn17 · February 2014

Me: I really need a vacation.
DH: you were just on vacation.

Referring to my business trip. Which Tess tagged along on. Meaning I was working all day and taking care of T all night. By myself.

mittensonkittens · February 2014

Last night I told DH that I didn't want candy for valentines day because I need to get serious about losing this baby weight. We're not big on giving each other gifts, so I suggested we write each other poems or something like that. He is not a romantic, or a poet, so at best I might expect a dirty limerick from him. I didn't expect him to respond immediately with "roses are red, violets are blue, your ass is too fat, no candy for you." Granted it was funny, and it summarized what I had just said, but dude...don't say your wife has a fat ass.

valstulas · February 2014

mermomo5 said:

valstulas said:
Mr. Vals is good about reading labels and stuff like that, but his organizational skills suck. I requested next Saturday off from work for both of us and lined up a sitter so we could have our first date night in 2 years. Yep, he totally picked up the shift this morning.

Him: "I didn't know we had plans."
[-X :-q [-( @-) /:) %-( :-w
Mr. Val's not good..

It's cool. He was going to get some action, so he only hurt himself.

Bkuhman · February 2014

Sent DH to get cough drops, subway and medicine yesterday because I've been voiceless and miserable for a week. He comes home and say he forgot the cough drops.... He waits until 11:30 at night to ask if I wanted him to go get them cough drops he forgot...... Yes!!! I want them!! My stomach hurts from coughing!

Kitten80 · February 2014

valstulas said:
Mr. Vals is good about reading labels and stuff like that, but his organizational skills suck. I requested next Saturday off from work for both of us and lined up a sitter so we could have our first date night in 2 years. Yep, he totally picked up the shift this morning.

Him: "I didn't know we had plans."
[-X :-q [-( @-) /:) %-( :-w

He is on quite the roll lately. I'm sorry.

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