Picking up

mancila60 · February 2014

The other day we were talking about advice people gave us before LO's were born. Well one of the things people said to me was don't pick them up all the time because they will get spoiled. I know there is some slight truth to that and I was wondering at what age is that true? LO is 4 months now and can almost sit up by himself and is working on crawling. Since he can't move on his own yet obviously we will still pick him up all the time. Just curious if that advice is true and at what point should we "worry" about that.

HFrizzle · February 2014

You can not spoil a baby. Plain and simple.

Gatorsgirl731 · February 2014

When she's 18. There is no such thing.

RedZee · February 2014

Giving affect ion doesn't spoil a child. Giving the child everything he wants and letting him dictate how everything goes all the time spoils a child.

ballygirl · February 2014

I know you can't spoil a baby but You can get them used to certain things so that they expect it. DH and I got the babies used to being carried around a lot. Now when I or DH are with my girls they want to be picked up and walked around the house constantly and it's the only way we can get them to sleep. We usually give in to this and end up doing the 'baby parade' all day. This is a real problem for me when am alone with them because I can't carry around 2 babies all day and when I try to put them in the swing or bouncy hair or any kind of baby seat, they protest. Loudly. I end up with screaming babies all the time when I'm alone because of it.

Our nanny never did this with them and sometimes let them fuss a bit. If they got fussy or threw a fit she'd comfort them on her lap or the couch or whatever, but didn't walk with them. It takes longer to calm them that way but she didn't give in to the walking unless it got really bad. Now they don't expect it from her and are really much better with her than me. They sit in the swing or bouncy seat or bumbo happily without freaking out. So I guess its not spoiling but they do seem to expect different things w DH and I than the nanny.

emmylou78 · February 2014

I definitely think babies can get used to things and prefer them that way. But that's different than just being spoiled. I think you can't spoil a newborn or infant. But definitely heed your own instincts instead of other'a advice.

FWIW: I pick my baby up all the time. She prefers being held. But I keep trying different things (play mat, swing, playing on floor) to get her used to those. When she cries, I then pick her up.

norbert5 · February 2014

I agree with @ballygirl, they just get use to different things.

I do let her fuss a bit more now before I pick her up and put her down more awake then I used to. But we are in the middle of the 4 MW period so my patience is wearing thin.

RedZee · February 2014

They can get used to things, but that wasn't the question. You should deft put LO to sleep and stuff the way you want it to be from now on. If you rock to sleep for every nap they will think that's the norm and not let you change it (or quit napping before they're ready life my kid). But those things still aren't spoiling them.

Mama2be12345 · February 2014

We are really struggling with this right now so I have little advice. I agree you can't spoil a baby but you do teach them what to expect. Our problem is LO has always had a hard time sleeping so she is swaddled for naps and bed, has to have her paci and won't sleep in her crib. I'm starting to worry weve totally created a monster. Thinking hard now about how to encourage some healthy sleep habits without CIO method because that's just not an option. She's also been going through 2 weeks of what we think is the 4 month wake up so life has been hell. I don't think cuddling and picking up LO during the day is spoiling her but our little one is pretty happy during playtime, so what do I know?

Want a personalized experience?

Picking up

Re: Picking up

Choose Another Board

Search Boards