Second shower 19 years later?

PanamaPineapple · February 2014

I had my first DD at age 19 and now 19 years later having my second at age 38. My Mom and sister are throwing me a shower. I wasn't sure I should have one because this is my second child but they want to throw one because of the time between the two. Your thoughts?

deidremaria · February 2014

Great question for the baby shower board. TBH I don't have thoughts on anyone's subsequent showers because 1: I don't know you and 2: whether I had an opinion or not you'd still have a shower.

Enjoy your shower

BreeShipman · February 2014

My SIL had a 16 year gap between. We only throw full showers for the first child but she got a full shower. You are starting over and can't just reuse everything from your last one. Have fun and enjoy it!!

CBJmommy · February 2014

Enjoy! Each baby should be celebrated!

rainy369 · February 2014

I would definitely have one. Not for the presents, but for the celebration.

janice9821 · February 2014

If your mom and sister offered, I'd see no problem with it with 19 years having passed since your first. It might not be the "correct" answer, but it wouldn't bother me to get an invite for a shower in those circumstances. Heck, I barely know any of the same people now that I knew when I was 19...the guest lists would probably be totally different anyway if it were me.

AEisens · February 2014

Go for it!

BuggasMom · February 2014

I say go for it. So much time has lapsed and I'm sure it's like starting over again.

beautifulstr13 · February 2014

Have one. Even if you had gear left over from your first it's been long enough that safety regulations have probably changed. Plus it's like a whole new experience with that age gap.

Rrrrrachel · February 2014

Emily post says it's fine but you should try to invite different people, other than close friends and family. I would imagine the time gap mostly takes care of that, in your case, and anyone you've been friends with for that long won't care, anyway.

Alana1977 · February 2014

My daughter is 17 (had her at 19). My best friend is throwing me a shower for this LO. 17 years later you are def. starting over. I did not keep any baby stuff. I also don't have the same group of friends, moved away and recently got married (his family is excited to attend a shower). So it will be differ people at this shower. Personally though even if my children were closer in age I do not see the problem with subsequent showers (or a differ type if celebration) I think every baby deserves to be celebrated and honored - to me gifts are not necessary. And for this shower I am not encouraging gifts only because we already bought everything we need. I just think all babies deserve celebrating

KatieGummow · February 2014

Oh my gosh, totally just enjoy it! There's no way you would have held on to baby items after that long.

selina1113 · February 2014

Ooopsbaby14 said:
If you're comfortable go with it! It's been 12yrs since my first/only shower. My friends wanted to throw me a shower, but I declined because I don't like being the center of attention.

@buggasmom, it is exactly like starting over!! Ten years between my youngest and the new LO.

Same here! 10 year gap. I declined because I hate being in the spot light.

nicole mackenzie · February 2014

I think given the time inbetween it's fine. They offered too, so it's not you being gift grabby in my oppinion.

My cousin had her first in high school and then had a second shower at 30. The second one the men were invited to. It was dads first baby so I think it was partially for him really. But I still think its ok since so much time has passed.

AmberLiz99 · February 2014

Have fun! If someone wants to celebrate your baby enjoy it.

Ashleypixie · February 2014

People usually don't have second showers because you would have kept most of the things you had for your first baby. But I imagine you do not! Accept the shower! There is nothing weird about it. I wish I was having one because I didn't keep anything from my last pregnancy nine years ago and I'm totally, shamelessly gift grabby!

AcaAwkward · February 2014

I definitely think enough time has lapsed that having a second shower is appropriate!

rtv3 · February 2014

Since they offered, go ahead. Enjoy!

Luckie519 · February 2014

I know some people have the opinion, no showers for second babies. Some say like a sprinkle or "Welcome, Baby" party, however in this instance, I think it'd be fine. A coworker has a 16 year gap between her kids and had a shower.

I tend to not go to second baby showers, unless it's a close friend or family member, but that is just me. I literally have a friend, who had two showers and two diaper parties for each of her kids. So, for two kids, she had 8 parties total. Needless to say, I went to one of each. She also had a 1/2 year birthday party for her first kid too. It just got to be a little much.

RedDawnsRevenge · February 2014

I think after 19 years your ok to have another shower. I wouldn't have saved baby junk for that long!

KatieGummow · February 2014

Luckie519 said:
I tend to not go to second baby showers, unless it's a close friend or family member, but that is just me. I literally have a friend, who had two showers and two diaper parties for each of her kids. So, for two kids, she had 8 parties total. Needless to say, I went to one of each. She also had a 1/2 year birthday party for her first kid too. It just got to be a little much.

That's really excessive! She threw them for herself or had them thrown for her? Just curious

aboleary34 · February 2014

It's 19 years later I def think you should have one. I am not usually a 2nd shower person but this is one exception.

Smores730 · February 2014

deidremaria said:

Great question for the baby shower board. TBH I don't have thoughts on anyone's subsequent showers because 1: I don't know you and 2: whether I had an opinion or not you'd still have a shower. Enjoy your shower

Thanks for that flash back into high school. Eye roll.

OP: There's no reason you should turn down a 2nd shower after a 19 year lapse between children. Who in their right mind would keep baby stuff for 19 years?

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

Smores730 said:

deidremaria said:

Great question for the baby shower board. TBH I don't have thoughts on anyone's subsequent showers because 1: I don't know you and 2: whether I had an opinion or not you'd still have a shower.

Enjoy your shower

Thanks for that flash back into high school. Eye roll.

OP: There's no reason you should turn down a 2nd shower after a 19 year lapse between children. Who in their right mind would keep baby stuff for 19 years?

-----
@Smores740 Have you been on here much? @deidremaria was just saying what we've seen from experience over the past six months. People post to ask about second showers. People get all kinds of opinions based on regional standards, cultural norms, WASP-ey guidelines set in the 1950's, all of which have little to nothing to do with the OP and their social circle or circumstances. OP enevitably argues that their circumstances make their situation different and ultimately do what they want, which is have a shower, regardless of the advice they're given by strangers on the internet. Repeat x2,000 and that was our October and November.

Now, all that being said, this OP has gotten what I think are great responses, because I don't see anyone disagreeing that 19 years between showers is okay. But Deidremaria, being the first poster, couldn't have forseen that, and was likely anticipating a similar thread to what we have seen oh, so many times before.

Smores730 · February 2014

In almost all circumstances people are going to ultimately do what they want to do despite what strangers on the internet say.... So therefor no one should post a WDYT type question?

Despite my "attendance" on this board, I feel pretty confident in thinking that out of all of the A14's posts regarding baby showers, not one person has had 19 years lapse between pregnancies making this post not be like all the others.

Just like the shower questions come in great waves, the am I going into labor posts, how much sleep questions, how many ounces questions, breastfeeding questions etc. will soon be here in complete redundancy. Technically there are NO questions that haven't been asked before... let's try to keep that in mind.

LittleLady77 · February 2014

Enjoy your shower!

BiggerinRealLife · February 2014

@Smores730 So now I'm wondering how you got all of that, are completely right about repeat questions, and yet are still calling out the ONE person who got a bit snarky with the OP. All the other positive responses weren't enough for you, you had to call out a really cool person who, yes, was maybe a bit snarky, as we all have been at one time or another on this board? Congratulations on adding to the tiny bit of negativity on this extremely tame baby shower thread. I don't get it, and feel you're missing the forest for the trees.

Second shower 19 years later?

Re: Second shower 19 years later?

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