am I the only one...

countrygrl5533 · February 2014

Let me first start by saying, to all you who are expecting again, I am honestly and truly very happy for all of you!

This is not posted to take away from your joy and excitement.

But am I the only one that wants to go hide every time someone IRL or here or FB or where ever, announces they are pregnant again?

I have about 10 lbs to lose to have a safe pregnancy. I'm only 30lbs overweight. Not obese by any means but I'm short and small boned. I need to be healthier before we can have another one. And we are in a rough patch financially. Once the tax return comes in, we can pay some things off and be fine. But until then....groceries are even hard to purchase. We are planning on starting trying for #2 in April but that may change as DH is considering a career change.

There are three March '12 babies in my church. All of them were first babies. The other two moms are pregnant again. One is in an even worse spot financially (like, my tax dollars are paying for her rent, food, and now this 2nd baby). I went through this with DD when we had a hard time getting pregnant and my cousin knocked up his girlfriend (they have two babies now).

Every new announcement just makes me want to crawl back into bed and cry. Even when I am truly happy for the couples expecting. I know I am doing things the smart way. I'm getting healthier and in a better financial place before adding another mouth to feed. But it is still so, so hard to watch what feels like everyone around me getting pregnant.

nunzchucks · February 2014

I understand what you mean. DH and I planned to start trying in Sept13 and I had 4 close friends get pregnant before I could even go get my IUD out. It was really hard because I wanted to be right there with them, but we needed to wait until it was a better time for us. ((Hug))

countrygrl5533 · February 2014

LilNunz1 said:

I understand what you mean. DH and I planned to start trying in Sept13 and I had 4 close friends get pregnant before I could even go get my IUD out. It was really hard because I wanted to be right there with them, but we needed to wait until it was a better time for us. ((Hug))

Thanks. It is so hard to describe what I mean because I'm not mad at the couples expecting. I'm not unhappy for them. Just sad for myself. I'm so glad someone else "gets it."

[Deleted User] · February 2014

Aww, I am sorry you're feeling this way. I don't feel the same right now, but I did when we were TTC DS. It took us a full year with an early loss along the way. A coworker had her first and got KU with her second during that time frame, and I totally had the thought, "No fair! When is it my turn?". Totally lame and I was happy for her, like you said, just sad for myself. So I get it.
It can be very hard to do the smart thing and wait when your heart wants to do it now. I'm not sure if it helps to think of it this way.. once you have #2, the pain of this waiting period will be behind you. When I think back to our tough journey to get to DS, even the loss, it is like a distant memory and I know it was all worth it because it led to my Weston, my perfect boy who was meant to be ours. Ok maybe the memory isn't all that distant because I totally just teared up...

(
Anyway, hugs to you and hang in there! You'll get there.

Wipz · February 2014

I'm not jealous of other moms.. but I do get damned frustrated at watching people pop out kids like peas when they cant even afford or take proper care of the ones they have and then expect everyone else to help out or give them stuff.. so fed up of hearing.. when you having another one ? ... like its expected of you to produce enough kids to make benefits and tax refunds worth while.

I am more than happy with having just my lil guy and doing the things we want to with him... I don't need 5 kids to get a big tax refund while everyone else pays for my kids

.. no offense to big families if you are supporting yourself, or have become unable to AFTER the fact... but to willy nilly get pregnant when you know damned well you cant afford to.. just puts the burden on everyone else.

I applaud you moms who want another kid and are waiting to get in a better position before you do, it's hard as hell and I admire that.

eyenigh · February 2014

Wipz said:

I'm not jealous of other moms.. but I do get damned frustrated at watching people pop out kids like peas when they cant even afford or take proper care of the ones they have and then expect everyone else to help out or give them stuff.. so fed up of hearing.. when you having another one ? ... like its expected of you to produce enough kids to make benefits and tax refunds worth while.

I am more than happy with having just my lil guy and doing the things we want to with him... I don't need 5 kids to get a big tax refund while everyone else pays for my kids

.. no offense to big families if you are supporting yourself, or have become unable to AFTER the fact... but to willy nilly get pregnant when you know damned well you cant afford to.. just puts the burden on everyone else.

I applaud you moms who want another kid and are waiting to get in a better position before you do, it's hard as hell and I admire that.

Exactly! I'm happily one and done and with my horrible pregnancy, I usually just feel bad for people who are pregnant.

countrygrl5533 · February 2014

I'm really trying to remember how hard pregnancy was and the newborn stage. I truly hate the newborn stage. That used to put me off but now...it doesn't. I try to think of the days where DD runs me ragged and I can't imagine having a baby too. But the older she gets, the better her days are (for the most part). She actually tucked me in for a nap yesterday, crawled in next to me, and just sat quietly watching Curious George while I took a short nap.

I have to keep reminding myself, 'Two periods isn't a long time to wait to start trying' and 'Once the tax return comes in, the big bill will be paid off and they'll stop taking it straight from DH's paycheck and we'll be normal again.' But this situation with my IRL friend.....just made it harder. Of course, the fact that the past few months instead of being a "b word" when my period hits like most of the female population with PMS...I get depressed and emotional. Not helping this week.

It is so nice to hear I'm not alone in this feeling.

am I the only one...

Re: am I the only one...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards