Struggling with what to do with frozen embryos

eandk18 · February 2014

Hi all. I know I've only posted here a couple of times but we are struggling with what to do with our 2 frozen embryos. My DH and I decided we do not want to pursue IVF again. It was very stressful physically and emotionally and I just do not want to do that again. We have two beautiful daughters and we have decided that we are content with our family the way it is. We are open to a third and if it's meant to be it will be. We are unexplained/ovulation disorder so we know it's a possibility however slim. If we don't get pregnant, like I said, we are happy as a family of 4.

Anyways, I am really struggling with letting our embryos go.... we've decided against donating them. It's an awesome gift and I know there are some amazing success stories, I just know that I would always wonder what happened to them. So we either destroy them or donate them to science. Do you know what donating them to science means? Also, did anyone destroy theirs? I feel terrible thinking of "destroying" them. I don't know that I believe life begins while they are embryos (please, please no flames, I know everyone thinks differently) but I just don't know.

TIA for your input.

JBDamonM · February 2014

what about donating them for research?? You never know - that research could be a game changer and offer someone else the chance to have a baby who is also having trouble?!?!?

PennyLane26 · February 2014

JBDamonM said:

what about donating them for research?? You never know - that research could be a game changer and offer someone else the chance to have a baby who is also having trouble?!?!?

I think that is what OP means by donating them to "science." This is also how our RE explained it.

A better option, IMHO, than destroying them. But still a tough decision in general.

Sorry, no advice! But good luck. With our 7 frozen embryos, I'm sure DH and I will have to have similar conversation in the future and I am dreading it.

Ruthie04 · February 2014

We never had frozen embryos, but our clinic had us make the decision in advance and we had decided on donating them to medical research. DH's grandfather suffered from Parkinson's Disease and it was a cause that was important to his family.

Our clinic gave us literature on Harvard's Stem Cell Institute. They've got a very informative website with info on some of their findings and current research. The one thing I remember reading in my material is that there is a chance your embryos may not be accepted into the program. In that event, they would be destroyed. I don't know if they would ever inform you of that outcome, but I think it's something to consider.

HTH!

kbeach82 · February 2014

We only have 1 frozen embryo, but DH and I go back and forth. As much as we would be the most at peace with at least giving our embryo a chance at life, I just don't know if I could honestly start all over again in a few years. I don't mean the FET process, I'm fine with that, I mean starting the whole cycle with a newborn again. For financial reasons, and for the benefit of our kids, we wouldn't even consider doing a FET until our oldest is in school full time. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but we will either try a FET or donate our embryo for research in the hopes that its' creation will benefit others.

ccam · February 2014

I'm pretty sure we will have to make this decision at some point in the future. I think about it all.the.time and it really bothers me. I honestly have no idea which way we will go, but it will be between donating to another couple and donating to research. After we're done TTC#2, we'll keep any frozen embryos in storage for a few years until we know we are definitely done and ready to make that decision. Good luck to you, it's such a personal thing.

pantsarella · February 2014

I think we're going to donate ours to another couple. I remember how I felt going through IVF and seeing how hard the MFI diagnosis was on DH. Luckily, I didn't have any issues and our first IVF was successful. I can't even imagine being told that it would never happen, even with all that IVF can overcome. I hope every embryo becomes a blessing for someone.

If DH wasn't alright with donating, we would definitely donate to science. I got to get the blessings of scientific advancement, I'd like to help others do the same.

PrettyAccountant · February 2014

pantsarella said:
I think we're going to donate ours to another couple. I remember how I felt going through IVF and seeing how hard the MFI diagnosis was on DH. Luckily, I didn't have any issues and our first IVF was successful. I can't even imagine being told that it would never happen, even with all that IVF can overcome. I hope every embryo becomes a blessing for someone.

If DH wasn't alright with donating, we would definitely donate to science. I got to get the blessings of scientific advancement, I'd like to help others do the same.

This - and so beautifully said.

eandk18 · February 2014

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. DH and I have a lot to think about it.

Deardra77 · February 2014

We don't have any frosties, getting ready to do another fresh cycle now. One of the options we have talked about with our RE is transferring left over embryos with out any medication support & at a stage in the cycle where they are unlikely to be successful. Thinking that will be what I will lean towards if we find ourselves in this situation. But who knows if we ever will! Its the funniest thing to both hope for frosties incase our cycle results in a BFN and at the same time hoping for no left over frosties incase we have a BPF!

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