Nervous confession

Stillharbor · February 2014

DD had a bit of a rough start. She couldn't BF, has DS and (more worrying) a heart defect. Several weeks in, we found that she had severe acid reflux and a dairy allergy. We were given a dairy free formula option, but couldn't get her to take it. (LO was so dehydrated at this point we couldn't wait for her to get used to it.). So I went dairy free. I stressed over ingredient lists, drank gallons of water, popped Fenugreek like it was candy, and made my pump a closer friend than MH all in an effort to establish my supply. I religiously sat down with my pump every 3-4 hours, for 30 minutues, and spilled milk was definately something to cry over. Now after 14 months, LO is on her way to being weaned and I am finding it difficult to stop pumping. Oh, I've been able to sleep through the night without pumping, but during the day, I've lived with an eye for where I'm going to be when it is time to pump next. Now that I need to drop a pumping session, I find I'm nervous and the next time I pump, when I don't get as much I can't help this slightly panicky feeling that DD isn't going to get enough to eat. Phew! Down girl!

minervacullen · February 2014

I'm sorry. I get it though. You've worked so hard to pump enough, non-dairy bm, for her all this time (great job!!!) and to just stop... Breath mama. Take it slow and if it takes some time for you to feel comfortable not pumping, then just keep pumping some. I'm sure you'll still use it if you have some.

Beth.1212 · February 2014

That totally makes sense. Honestly, I felt the same way about taking the pill. Even when I was pregnant, I found myself thinking "Oh no, did I forget to take my BCP today?" and feeling slightly panicky. It wasn't necessary anymore, but it's become second nature so you can forget that it's no longer needed!

Congratulations on making it so long EP! That's a real achievement.

DawnLilly · February 2014

If it were me I would not cut out a session just not complete the other ones. Shorten them so that you aren't draining completely. Shorten each until one just naturally isn't needed.

ETA: BTW I am amazed. You did a good job mama. You don't need to feel guilty about anything.

twinkletoes3126 · February 2014

I exclusively pumped too when my son was 6-11 months and I totally understand how you feel. I wasn't ready to quit at 11 months even though I had enough of a stash to get me until 13 months. Unfortunately I just randomly quit producing but would have kept going if I hadnt. It's amazing you've gone so long and if you aren't ready to stop, then don't. I will tell you that once I started dropping pumping sessions, I quit producing at my other ones. Good luck in your decision and awesome work!

BLPL101 · February 2014

I exclusively pump still at 13 months. I'm down to 2 pumps a day (morning and evening). I cut them out VERY slowly because I'm prone to clogged ducts and mastitis.