Miss Manners on "gender" reveal parties

rainydayluck · February 2014

https://m.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-announcement-of-babys-gender-is-not-an-occasion-for-party/2014/02/05/e87803e2-7eeb-11e3-9556-4a4bf7bcbd84_story.html

MrsCaddyshack · February 2014

Ha! I am all for gender announcements via FB... or cute ways of telling people... But I have been invited to gender reveals and it does feel ridiculous to me. (Perhaps it's my FFFC??) I honestly don't care:

a) if you're having a boy or girl

b) what you're naming your baby

Keeping those things secret/making them a surprise/etc. then forcing me to participate in an event where I am required to "react" appropriately is ridiculous. It's your baby. You be excited. You share when you're ready. But don't make me jump up and down in excitement over something that has almost no impact on my life.

(Yes, I know I sound like a cold-hearted bish!)

LunaBug924 · February 2014

Well shit. I guess I should inform the people that came to our party and created a massive drum roll and stomping ceremony (without provocation) as we cut the cake that they should disown us immediately for being such attention whores and FORCING them to celebrate with us. Good to know! :P

deanna1313 · February 2014

Everyone has a different outlook on it. I wish I had a gender reveal, but didn't because it was a few days after christmas. I had for family and friends who were bugging me to do a reveal. I would only invite close friends and family. I don't agree with inviting everyone you know. Who turns down a good party?!

In fact, I would be thrilled to go to a gender reveal if a family or friend was having one. And yes, I do care whether or not they are having a boy or a girl.

Empireceo · February 2014

Yep. I can't get behind these ridiculous parties based around a fetus's genitals. Way too weird and AW.

oscarwao · February 2014

I personally think they are silly. If someone wants to have one then it is no skin off my back, but I probably wouldn't attend.

Ladiebug30 · February 2014

From the article ... "An acquaintance of Miss Manners’s who attended such an event said that the mother-to-be was so distraught when she didn’t get the gender she wanted that she started blaming the guests for jinxing it."

Could you imagine!??! Oh my goodness! How awkward for those poor guests!

My sister begged me to let her plan one of these parties for us. I just can't get behind it. It's not my style. I don't care if other people have them. It just isn't for me.

Kageer · February 2014

Meh-I feel the same way about these as I do about showers for subsequent children. If you want to do it-great-your life your choice. If you are invited to one and are opposed to the idea, then just don't go.

MamaLlama14 · February 2014

I have no opinion on them. I don't want one (we're team green anyway) and wouldn't attend one unless it was my own future niece/nephew, but I don't begrudge anyone else the fun if it's exciting to them. Then again, if you're stomping your feet and pouting after the cake is cut and blaming your guests for the way the DNA ended up, that's a whole different ball of crazy.

deanna1313 · February 2014

Even though I like the idea of a gender reveal I agree with you guys on some things.
Once you go beyond close friends and family(like second cousins etc.) it gets ridiculous. Those acquaintances and extended family don't care as much as those close to you.

Also, if you are one of those people who prefers a certain sex or will be devastated by the results, don't have it! Seems like a no brainer to me and so awkward for guests.

jenb_99 · February 2014

MrsCaddyshack said:

Ha! I am all for gender announcements via FB... or cute ways of telling people... But I have been invited to gender reveals and it does feel ridiculous to me. (Perhaps it's my FFFC??) I honestly don't care:

a) if you're having a boy or girl

b) what you're naming your baby

Keeping those things secret/making them a surprise/etc. then forcing me to participate in an event where I am required to "react" appropriately is ridiculous. It's your baby. You be excited. You share when you're ready. But don't make me jump up and down in excitement over something that has almost no impact on my life.

(Yes, I know I sound like a cold-hearted bish!)

This. 100%. You took the words right outta my mouth.

momthatlifts · February 2014

I mind of want to post this on my Facebook for the moms to be who threw these parties to see. But I wont

momthatlifts · February 2014

kitchencolors said:
This is sooooooooooo true:

"Not everyone is as excited as you are about every detail of your child’s life, let alone the pre-life."

I think the idea is silly.

I don't know how many times I have said that very quote

Kaylee524 · February 2014

Meh. My MIL wanted me to do a gender-reveal party, but I just couldn't get behind it. I was pretty sure most people just wouldn't care. Instead, we announced that we were having a boy at the family Christmas Eve party with little boxes of blue M&Ms that everyone opened. That was more than good enough for me.

Xath · February 2014

I'm too impatient (and an introvert). I texted an ultrasound picture and the gender to our immediate family right after the anatomy scan. Once they all knew it went up on Facebook for the rest of the family to see.

manderdoll · February 2014

Why does she speak in the third person, I don't like it.

As for the parties, they are not for me, we are team green anyway, I can see doing something with immediate family, those who actually 'care' about the sex of your baby, otherwise it's a bit much. I was tempted to find out just do some sort of cute surprise reveal just for DH and I, but that is it.

deanna1313 · February 2014

@Kaylee524 that's the type if reveal I wanted to have. We were just going to combine it with Christmas Eve until they changed my ultrasound date until 3days after christmas. No reveal. Just text out an ultrasound pic to everyone.

Tkburke · February 2014

I am not a huge fan. Also....I kinda feel like I have better things to do with my life. Like maybe prepare for becoming a mother?

hfooter · February 2014

My friends really wanted to throw me one. But I thought it was strange and not for me so I declined.

pistolpackinmomma · February 2014

We met our parents and my brother (the only people we figured would care) and surprised them with cupcakes with a blue center. Not a party per se but a fun way to tell our parents. They were extra surprised because we were supposed to be team green but dropped out. We knew for about 2 weeks before telling them. It was fun and I enjoyed making the cupcakes. But like I said, very low key.

awc1986 · February 2014

Our reveal was a text to the people who had expressed an interest.

It's very true that nobody is as excited about the details of your fetus as you are. Apart from maybe my dad, but he's a new level of crazy grandpa-to-be.

I tend to find that the reveal party types are also the ones who post daily updates of their pregnancy on FB, like they're the only people to have done it. I appreciate that it's a happy and exciting time but jeez, change the record!

Mimaloo · February 2014

Well she only said that gender reveal parties are a no-no. That totes means I can haz a nursery reveal party! Oh oh oh! Or a name reveal party! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaalllll!

Do you think I should combine my nursery reveal with the name reveal? Or should I have two different parties?

But don't worry ladies, I'll make sure everyone knows that I don't want any gifts at my part(y/ies) so that like, makes it better right?

lavendergiraffes · February 2014

Kimbus22 said:
I just can't fathom that people host parties about genitals. I'm throwing myself an "i have a vagina" party next summer just for funsies.

I might throw myself an "I can see my vagina" party this summer when I actually can!! :-)