LGBT Parenting
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GTKY 2/7 Edi.

Hi all! Welcome and please join in this week's GTKY!

1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.)
2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose?
3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!
4. How's the weather?
5. What's going on this weekend?

Bonus: Shout out to a bumpie, PIP of choice, or sage advice you wish the whole world would take :)
Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

It's been a long road to here...
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


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Re: GTKY 2/7 Edi.

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    JGYJGY member
    edited February 2014

    1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.)

    I really wish my body would/could naturally produce more milk.

    2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose?

    I would choose to die in my sleep, holding my wife's hand, MANY years into the future after having had a chance to know my future grandchildren and after having taken care of getting rid of all of my crap so Gabe doesn't have to do it.  Then I will lay down in my bed in the old-age home, with a belly full of institutional mac 'n cheese, and just drift off.  :)

    3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!

    The first birth that I attended as a Doula was a blow-your-mind, life-changing event.  The family were not my clients, I ended up covering for a Doula friend who was ill.  The birth was AMAZING, and while it was the realization of a dream for me to have finally found a way into the birthing space professionally, it was also a personal realization that this was something that I NEEDED to do myself (have a baby). 

    4. How's the weather?

    I am so SO SO over it.  It is so effing cold here.  And we're just trapped inside all the time, there's no safe way to do outdoor things when it's this cold.  And that makes everyone cranky including the dog.  I'm really hoping that this Spring will not be like the last, where it snowed into May.  If that happens again, I swear we are moving.

    5. What's going on this weekend?

    My choir's concerts are this weekend, so that will be good.  Good because it's fun to do, but also because it will bring the rehearsals to an end and we'll get our weekends back.  My Sister is flying in to visit/babysit which is AWESOME of her.  And then Sunday night S and I go to the JT concert - guilty pleasure!  Our friend ended up getting a Suite through her work, so it'll be doubly awesome and also free for us.  Even better!

    Bonus: Shout out: ETA - stupid bump left this off!!!

    Can't stop thinking about @Healz413 and @Manada today and their little embryos!!

     

     

     

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

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    Stupid bump ... my shout out was to @Healz413 and @Manada, who I can't stop thinking about!

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

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  • Options
    1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.) HMMMM...Good question. Probably run faster (or maybe even run at all LOL) I would also like to jump higher
    2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose? In my sleep before I lose control of my bodily functions.
    3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!I am not sure about a life changing moment...but a period of time. When I met my wife I was in a relationship that was not healthy. We had been together for 10 years but we were just destroying each other. After we broke up, M and I started hanging out. She made me feel safe and I was able to find myself again and really get comfortable with truths, no need to lie for feel attacked when someone was being honest. It truly helped me find myself and grow into the person I wanted to be and could respect.
    4. How's the weather? It is yucky here. Was up in the 80 for the last two days, but today has been in the high 60's and very overcast. Makes me wanna go curl up in bed
    5. What's going on this weekend? M and I are going to look at pool samples as we have saved up to build one unto our house (plus it will be great when I get the size of a whale in mid-summer heat of sweltering Florida. Then we have a family dinner with my in-laws and M's uncle from Germany (uncle in-law???). We are going to tell my SIL that we are pregnant and then the bonus of having two. M is very excited!

    Bonus: Shout out to a bumpie, PIP of choice, or sage advice you wish the whole world would take I would like to give the sage advice of "Blinker before Brake---it is alphabetical people." Blinkers are very helpful and I am sick of ppl turning them AFTER they are braking for a turn. Also, to go along with that....it is strickly a turn-not a lifetime commitment, please do not take an hour to make a turn. LOL  :!!

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)


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    KH826KH826 member
    edited February 2014

    1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.)

    At the moment, it would definitely be to sleep better, since I have not been doing well with that all pregnancy. However, it wasn't a huge issue for me pre-pregnancy, so I am hoping that is a somewhat short lived problem (I realize that is very naive of me). I think bigger picture, I would change my metabolism. It is horribly slow, and the only way for me to really lose weight and maintain a slim figure is basically for me to significantly limit my caloric intake and cut out all refined carbs like bread, pasta, etc. I did it for three years before becoming pregnant (following my weight loss), and while it was doable it took a lot of work and commitment and often felt like it was not sustainable for the rest of my life. I know I will be back to that way of life in terms of eating post-pregnancy in order to get back to my goal weight and I dread that. Unfortunately, I am just never going to be the type of person that can eat what I want within moderation and be thin. I would definitely change that so that it wouldn't be so darn hard to maintain my weight in the future.


    2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose?

    I would choose to peacefully drift away in my sleep at a ripe old age that allows me to feel like I have lived a good, long life, but also allows me to pass away with my dignity and my faculties (by avoiding a prolonged illness). I don't want to have to be taken care of in the end. I don't want to be a burden to my loved ones or lose my independence. I don't want my death to be traumatic or difficult. I want there to be a general feeling that it was my time and that I quietly left the earth on my own terms.


    3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!

    Over Christmas this past year we were up in Massachusetts visiting my family. My brother (for those of you who do not know) is globally disabled and medically fragile and now living at a care facility since my mother can no longer care for him at home. He is 15. I won't go into much more detail, since many of you are familiar with his story, as I have shared before. At any rate, one of his major issues is an uncontrolled seizure disorder, and though he is on a whole cocktail of anti-seizure meds, he still seizes daily and has grand mal episodes at least a few times a week. His doctors have prepared us that they believe he is at end of life, but there is no way of knowing how long the process of his decline will take. At any rate, my mother, my two sisters, my wife and myself all went to visit him on Christmas Eve to celebrate with him. We brought him all of his presents and we had planned to spend the day with him. He was having a bad day that day. He had a major seizure that morning when we were on our way to visit him, and he was very tired and out-of-it from all of the rescue medication given to him to stop the seizure. He wasn't alert enough to open presents. He was struggling with his respiratory issues (which always happens after a prolonged seizure) and was having to be suctioned continuously and needed oxygen support to breathe. This is not the worst that any of us has seen him, but it definitely was not a good day for him. We had been there visiting with him for about an hour and he had another large seizure. Part of the rescue plan for him when he has a large seizure is an injectible medication that is administered in his rear end. I had been standing next to his bed holding his hand when he started seizing. The nurse came in to administer his meds and she rolled him and asked me to hold onto him to keep him in place while my mom quickly pulled down his pants and the nurse gave him his shot. This is not a scenario totally uncommon for our family, but it struck me differently this time. I was holding him toward me and rubbing his hand and he was seizing and the nurse was giving him his shot, and I just looked at my mother's face and then I looked down at my own belly... for the first time I felt a new sensation that I couldn't really explain in words, but I started crying. I tried hard to keep it together because when one of us starts crying in situations like that we usually all end up crying. After my brother was a bit more stable, I stepped away and walked out into the hallway and just lost it. That will likely be my brother's last Christmas. My mother has cared for him in moments much like what I just described for the last 15 years. For the first time in that moment I felt differently about her relationship to him, and my own relationship to my future child(ren). I felt like a mom all of a sudden. I imagined caring for my own baby that way. I imagined how it would feel to be in my mom's shoes. I stood in the hallway and cried for a few minutes thinking about my brother, my mom and my own baby. Then I got it together and went back into his room and just laughed off my little emotional moment blaming it on my hormones. I still get emotional thinking about it. Anyway, I feel like that moment for me was life changing because I felt a connection to my baby that I hadn't felt yet, and I felt this overwhelming pain of parenthood that just felt like a knife. I know parenthood is not always painful, and hopefully not often painful for most, but for some it is hard road, and for pretty much all there are moments of pain for your child that you feel as if it were you experiencing it first hand. I am scared out of my mind to be a parent, but I know that I will be ready. I know that my wife and I are strong and we will support each other and our child(ren) no matter what we all face together. But for a few minutes, I just let myself hurt knowing that sometimes that is all you can do.


    4. How's the weather?

    At the moment it isn't too bad. High of 30 today (not terrible). We are supposed to get snow again tomorrow night into Sunday, but only a few inches (doable). The longer term forecast is predicting another larger storm for Wed-Thurs next week. Ugh! This has been a rough winter in terms of what we are used to. There are still many people in my area without power following the ice storm we had on Wednesday this week. We were very fortunate that we did not lose power. I hope that this next storm isn't too bad...


    5. What's going on this weekend?

    Tonight we are making breakfast for dinner - omelets! I am excited for that! Tomorrow we are picking up our crib that we bought a few weeks ago now that it has come in - which I am also excited for! Also groceries, laundry, some cleaning... my wife will probably be tempted to put the crib together, but hopefully she will hold off until after we paint. I will try to redirect her energy to another house project! That's all that we have on the docket for the moment...

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Options

    1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.)

    Better hand-eye coordination.  I am absolutely hopeless when it comes to sports.

    2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose?

    Similar to a lot of the previous posts, I want to be old, but still have all my faculties, and slip away quietly in the night at the same time as my love while we're cuddling. Oh, and I want my will to be completely up-to-date and certain things need to be in a box locked with a combination and labeled "In case of death, dispose without opening."

    3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!

    When my future wife asked me out in high school right before junior year ended.  We had been flirting the whole year, but whenever I had hinted I wanted something more she shut me down (she was sure I was straight). If she hadn't worked up the nerve to ask me out before we parted for the summer, I'm not sure if things would have been the same when we got back. Obviously, I said yes, and now we're coming up on 12 years of being together!

    4. How's the weather?

    Beautiful.  There's a bunch of snow on the ground (and on the trees, and on the buildings) from the storm on Wednesday, but today there's not a cloud in the sky and it's 27 degrees.

    5. What's going on this weekend?

    DW and I are going to go hike another mountain (we're trying to hit all the 4,000+ footers in the White Mountains). And I have a massage on Saturday.  Also, AF showed up today, so there will probably be some wine involved too.

    Bonus: Shout out:

    Shout out to @healz413 and @Manada. I really hope this is it for them!

    Me: 28 DW: 28

    Together since 5/30/02. Married since 8/31/08

    IUI#1 - 12/13/13 = BFN

    IUI#2 - 1/22/14 = BFN

    IUI#3 - 2/21/14 = BFN

    IUI#4 - 3/23/14

  • Options
    1. If you could change one physical trait or ability, what would it be? (Run faster, sleep better, etc.) 
    I would love to be more athletic, but more then anything I would love to be able to sleep and wake up feeling refreshed.  I haven't experienced that since probably high school.
    2. If you could choose your own death, what would you choose?
    I would chose to die in my sleep holding my wife's hand
    3. Tell us about a life-changing moment you've had that will give us insight into you!
    A moment that change my life forever was the summer of 2012.  My wife's teenage younger brother shared with me that he and their younger sister were molested by their father (My wife was also sexually molested by this man).  After long deliberation we contacted Child Protective Services in their county and an investigation was opened.  The children were questioned, my wife was questioned, their father was arrested and confessed to some of the abuse.  Their mother bailed him out of jail, he agreed to a plea deal but failed to show up for court to enter his official plea.  He was found later on the day, he committed suicide.  The entire family turned against my wife and blamed her for everything.  This all happened over a 6 month period and has taken a long time to process and get over.  This event impacted the way I look at life, because I realized that doing the right thing can sometimes come with huge sacrifices and repercussions.
    4. How's the weather?
    It sucks!  We got over 6 inches of snow earlier this week and side streets are still not cleared.  It is currently in the single digits and below zero wind chills.  My wife is currently making a fire in our fire place because I am freezing!!!
    5. What's going on this weekend?
    We had planned to take it easy.  I made a point not to agree to any plans or babysitting.  After the kids went home earlier I went to lay down to take a much needed nap and my phone rang, it was the foster agency.  They asked us if we would take two little girls 2 years old and 6 month old, they would be a permanent placement in our home.  We agreed, which means we might or might not have to go pick them up tonight.  One of the difficult parts is that just because we got a call for a possible placement doesn't mean we will actually get the children.  They could go to another family first.  It's a very inefficient, emotional process, but we signed up for it.  So now we wait, and wait.  So if we get two new kiddos our weekend is going to be crazy, if not I plan to lay on the couch watch movies, the Olympics and take as many naps as possible.
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



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