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Special Needs
ToastieSimons
member
S/O "Retarded"
ToastieSimons
member
One of the supervisors at DH's work took him and a few guys out to lunch yesterday. This is not DH's supervisor, he's in a different department. They're driving back to work and DH is behind Supervisor in the car. And supervisor says to DH " Dude, you're retarded". DH was shocked he's like "excuse me?". Supervisor repeats himself. DH says "I really don't think you should be saying that to me when you know I have two children who are mentally delayed". Supervisor says "No, you said your kid was JUST autistic". DH calmly responded that no, his children weren't autistic and that they are physically and mentally delayed and that they had already had a whole discussion about this.
So, 1) Apparently "retarded" is still considered acceptable despite being in the company of coworkers with disabled children
2) Autism is no where near as bad as having "retarded" children
3) Autism clearly is not a huge worry
Nice.
To my boys: I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O "Retarded"
It is remarkable that people still think that's okay in any setting, let alone in the company of a SN parent.
Your DH did handle it well! I've experienced that the best way I can handle these situations is with grace and education. About 10 years ago in my first job I had a colleague whose father had recently passed away from lung cancer. "That's terrible," I sympathized. "Did he smoke?" I asked innocently out of curiosity. My colleague paused and said, yes, that he had, but that he had quit 20 years ago. He then nicely explained to me that for the family of people who die of lung cancer, it can be very difficult to hear people ask if they smoked- as if they caused their own death, or that their death wasn't as meaningful because they smoked. I was absolutely floored. It had never occurred to me, and I was SO happy he told me this so I wouldn't make the same mistake again. It's the same thing as telling someone who was in a car accident- bummer you weren't wearing a seat belt, maybe you'd still have your legs.
Anyway the point of my rambling- I've resorted to being as generous as possible in the hopes that some people learn from their mistakes. Easier said than done of course, especially when someone says something directly about my son!
DS 09/2008