I am in tears... I need help!

Snugly Ael · February 2014

After sharing my problems with you all I finally hired a nanny for the days my hubby travels for work. I'm facing a new challenge now with the twins. Since the past two weeks all of a sudden their bedtime has changed from 7:30pm to 5 - 5:30 pm. They aren't napping at 4pm like they used to. Almost all day they are giving me a hard time when I put them down for naps. I'm losing my mind as they are wide awake at 5am or 6am and I hardly get any sleep because I'm alone with them at nights too. They still don't STTN.

When I'm not to be seen my son cries a lot. He cries so loud that there are times I come running thinking he might have hurt himself or must've fallen from the bouncer... A mother's mind thinks all the unexpected things. I seriously don't know what to do. Yesterday was a terrible day. The twins cried a lot and were not sleeping at all. My girl at least took her nap after being awake for 2 and a half hour, but my son was up for 3 hours and 45 minutes. He kept yawning and rubbing his eyes, but every time I held him or put him in the swing or crib or bouncy he kept crying. Btw, all his needs were met. Later he finally slept after I decided to bathe both of them and he slept for 3 hours and my girl for 2 hours. I don't know what's going on with them. They've become very moody and become very very fussy as soon as their nap time gets close. I try putting them for their nap when I see that they've been up for 1 and a half hour and seem to look exhausted.

They are also getting bored pretty fast these days with their bouncers or playmat and they get happy when I play with them. But then again.... How long can I play with them? I have to cook and eat.

I've noticed that they've reduced taking their formula too. At least my son has. He seems to be more interested in looking what's around him, and it looks like he is forcing himself to be awake and not have his milk because he's afraid he's missing out on something important or major. Lol. I might sound funny, but this is what I've noticed. I seriously don't want to feel the way I'm feeling right now. If all this continues my hubby would call his parents here and I DON'T WANT THAT! If they come, they'll stay with us for 5-6 months.

(

They'll turn 6 months on Feb 9 and I haven't started solids yet because I'm waiting to meet my ped and see what she suggests as the babies are a little tiny. They were born weighing 5lbs 13 oz and 5lbs 9 oz.

Please help me before I go mad! by the way, my nanny comes for only 4 hours and I call her when it's close to their last nap time and bed time. It's kinda hard on us financially as my hubby is the only one who is earning and he has to take care of all of us and on that his parents too are dependent on him!!!!

( please help me. I am helpless and I feel I'll die by getting so exhausted.

shaunah816 · February 2014

What's their adjusted age? I'm wondering if you could be running into the end of the 4 month wakeful period that usually hits between 4 and 5 months adjusted. They sleep like crap, eat less during the day, and then are up more at night because they were too distracted to eat well during the day.

Snugly Ael · February 2014

@shaunah816 - Their adjusted age would be the same i.e 5 months. They were born full term at 38w2d. My due date was August 21, 2013 and they were born on August 9, 2013. I've noticed that my boy is going longer hours without eating anything especially at nights. My girl is sometimes asking for her next feeding in 3-4 hours. She's very tiny when compared to my boy. Last night they were up post 2am almost every hour and they were trying to get active, but I kept putting them back to sleep. My son woke up from sleep to be burped every now and then, even though he was burped after his feeding. I seriously don't know what's going on with them.

I'm going crazy.

dmurrie · February 2014

Teething? They're about that age.

Also, you can always call and ask the pediatrician about the solids. They'll either give you the green light or ask you to wait, but you might be able to start solids now. No harm in asking! They really don't mind those calls either (partly because those are quick and easy questions for them to answer).

Your son sounds a lot like my DD with the not wanting to miss out on things fussing. She eventually napped less during the day but slept like a log at night. At age 3, we have given up on naps. She just climbs out of bed and opens the door and comes in and looks at us. I'm trying to think of some "games" or toys or activities that might tire them out a bit more. . Are they crawling and/or sitting now?

TheDairyQueenx3 · February 2014

I know this May seem silly but it's just a thought but are they over stimulated? My first was sort of similar in behavior but it took next to nothing for him to become over stimulated ( that eventually evened out around his first birthday) what I would do was take him in a dark room turn the tv on very low for me or brought in my lap top or a book, kept him swaddled up nice and tight and laid him next to me in my bed propped up on a pillow. I had a basket of easy snacks and bottled water and next to my bed and near his head I had the little lamb that makes a heartbeat sound gave him a paci and out like a light! I did the same at nap time and that's how he was able to sleep ever. The attachment parenting board may be able to offer a lot of help too so u would ask there as well. But crazy sleep cycles are common an most babies don't STTN until their first or even second birthday. It's all part of the joys of parenthood. I am so sorry these first few months are so hard for you. Amber necklaces helped so so much too as did taking him to a chiropractor to get adjusted. Just know you won't die from being too tired

DH has been to Afghanistan twice since my son was born for a year each time and next month will be gone for a while again when my twins will be 4 1/2 months parenting alone is challenging! I totally understand no family for at least 450 miles either so I'm literally all by myself and 3 under 4 alone isn't ideal but I just take it day by day and try new things if something isn't working well for us. As they get older their routines will evolve a lot the first year!

Snugly Ael · February 2014

My son already has two teeth. He was born with one. B-) when he got his second tooth he wasn't fussy nor had any changed in his schedule. He only ate a little less. My daughter just started teething and I can make out from her cries if it's the tooth that's causing her uneasiness. It's surely more than teething dmurrie because there were times they went to bed very late, but these days they are sleeping very early and waking up in the middle of the nights active and not hungry. They sometimes wake up super early too. 4:00 or 4:30 am!!!

My son is trying to crawl (I feel very soon he'll start crawling) and my daughter is wayyyy behind. She doesn't like tummy time and she gets tired very soon when put on her tummy. Many times she doesn't like being put on her tummy. They both are support sitters.

Snugly Ael · February 2014

I guess my son is overstimulated. He doesn't like being in his bouncer for long and just loves being on his playmat, where he can explore his surroundings. I think I should swaddle them for their naps. I stopped doing it because they kept turning in their sleep and woke up crying when on their tummy's. I put them in a sleep sack at nights. Hats off to you @mellissalynay90 for doing all this alone. I can completely understand what you go through each day. Please do share some tips on how to keep them busy, happy and sleep peacefully during nap time and night time. Thanks! By the way, I was just trying to sound funny by saying I'll die by being exhausted.

Wishing35 · February 2014

I'm sorry your having such a tough time. My girls are almost 6 months and can't stay awake more than 2 hours without getting overtired, maybe they are overtired? What I do is after 1.5 hours of awake time as soon as I see any eye rubbing or crankiness they go right in the swing. Even if they seem fine if it's been 2 hours they go in anyway. My girls have started solids but it doesn't make any difference with their sleep, they do sttn but have a lot if days lately that they get up early anywhere from 530 until 7 which used to be their normal wake up time, not sure how to fix that.
It does seem like they are harder to feed and eat less bottle, they are so distracted and squirmy it's harder to double feed at this point ! I'm sure that this will get better in time. When you start solids it will cut down the boredom because it takes a while to feed them and they will enjoy the new experience.I keep them in their high chairs after with some toys and face them while I clean the kitchen and wash bottles, it seems to entertain them for a bit. I'm glad you have the nanny even though it's only a few hours at least you get some sanity time, hang in there and GL!

kgs0505 · February 2014

At 6 months I let my girls hang out on the floor with some toys. This is where they spend a lot of their day. No more swings, or bouncers for the most part. They also only really have one nap. Back then, they snoozed a little in the morning (passed out on the floor for 30-45 minutes), then I put them in their crib to nap between 12-1pm dpending on what's going on. They sleep for hours during that nap. They get their room darkened and them in their sleep sacks every time.

Do they have a routine for sleeping? Are they maybe just needing a bit of an adjustment? Are you responding to the crying everytime he starts (I'm talking about sleeping, not during awake times)? Have your tried to let him cry for 5 minutes or so to see if he'll settle down (and I know... 5 minutes of screaming baby feels like 5 hours)? I used to respond to one of the girls when she'd cry while the other was sleeping because I was worried she'd wake the other one, but if I kept responding to her, I ended up waking the other one too. If I let her cry for 5 minutes or so, she'd 9.5 times out of 10 settle down and go back to sleep. But going in there to comfort her would just start the whole process all over again and she'd get worked up again.

Let them hang out on the floor with some toys. They might not like being confined to the bouncers anymore. The playmat (is it a gym?) might be too small now. I usually just spread out a big blanket or double wide beach towel and scatter a few toys around them. If your son is on the move he doesn't want to be straped to a chair as much.

Don't worry too much about how much they are eating as long as they are eating something. He might just be between growth spurts. They usually figure it out again within a week or two.

Good luck honey, I know it's hard. My DH works retail so I'm home with them and my older son alone a lot.

SWA80 · February 2014

My boys are a little younger (5 months, 3.5 adjusted) but are doing the exact same thing. Hopefully it is just a phase as some of the pps have suggested. They don't want to nap, are overtired and generally cry almost all of the time that they are awake. Even when they are rested they still cry for no reason. We did just buy a jumperoo and they seem to really like it, I think they were a little bored with lying on the floor and like being up.

LittleLady77 · February 2014

My babies aren't here yet so no experience myself but my friend who use to nanny for twins said she would put the fussy one in a carrier for nap time, put the good sleeper down and kind of bounce around while cooking, cleaning, eating etc till the fussy baby fell asleep. Maybe that could help? Good luck momma.

pillowass · February 2014

I remember the 5-6 month age as being particularly awful when it came to sleep. Around that time, we started doing some sleep training at night (with the blessing of our pediatrician) - kind of "Ferber light" and it really seemed to help with naps, too. Once we got the nighttime routine down, I just decided that naps would be at 9am and 2pm and the babies pretty quickly adapted. Enforcing a schedule went against every grain of my mothering instinct but it was absolutely the right thing to do because I was going insane with the sleep deprivation. Once we got on a schedule everything got so much better. There were still bad days, but I could kind of plan for at least 1 break per day.

The other thing I would share, as someone who has been through this with both a singleton and twins, is that "this too shall pass" - and by that I mean, this is a phase and it is temporary. Even if none of your interventions work, chances are that sleep will get better if you just suffer through this a little while. And then it will get worse. And then it will get better again. With 2, you just have to hope that both of them get in a good place with sleep at the same time. I used to refer to it as "graduating to the next level of unacceptable." Now I complain when my kids wake up at 5:30 but they go to bed at 7 and STTN - I would have killed for that a year ago!

BabyCarryingVessel · February 2014

Oh, sorry you are frustrated! Just a couple thoughts I had while reading your post. Could you wear your boy since he is more needy right now? As far as the 5:30 bedtime, what would happen if you made that a late nap, and woke them up around 6:30, then put them to bed around 8? I'm not sure if that would work for you, but I've done it many times somewhat successfully! Also, please take full advantage of that nanny while she's there. If you're really tired, skip the housework and take a nap!

carrotcake06 · February 2014

I agree w pp who said "this too shall pass". If there's one thing I've learned it's that nothing is predictable or permanent. Good sleeping rarely lasts and routines don't always net the same result. As hard as it is - and this is one of my biggest struggles as a mom - you've gotta go with the flow. Let go of expectations and roll with it. It's really, really hard for me to do this but giving yourself permission to not have things go as you would like takes a weight off your shoulders, at least for me.

You know what I fantasize about these days? A quiet house and a full night's sleep. My oldest, who will be 4 in April, still doesn't STTN with any regularity. I'm so ridiculously tired I don't even know if my body knows what to do with restorative sleep anymore! But, you do get used to it and find a way through.

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