Dumb things our DH have done/said

rebennett06 · February 2014

I wanted to start this board primarily because of my DH-and sometimes it's nice to have others tell me they agree he is being stupid. Today it was "make sure you shower today since we have your doctors appointment"-um what? Im 26. I know when to take a shower. It worries me that you feel you needed to tell me this

Last week it was while I was puking and not responding to his questions (ya know, cuz I was puking) and he said "I couldn't tell if you were ACTUALLY puking or just gagging a little". Really? You have to be kidding me.
So let's hear it-I know I'm not the only one with these stories. What dumb thing has DH done or said to you lately?

Katsouza1 · February 2014

"I'm so tired" uhm, stfu. You have no idea what tired feels like until you are growing a human inside of you.

SocraTeaseMe · February 2014

I could write a book full of the dumb shit my DH says. Is this your first? We just had our first over the summer, and I can assure you it gets worse. My DH was somewhat tame for the 9 months during pregnancy: round 1. Once DD was born it was a whole new level of insanity. I'm particularly fond of when he gets home from work and asks me what I did all day.

"I kept your DD alive, you DI*K!"

Good luck!

LSN8308 · February 2014

We were talking about his paid time off, and figuring he would have about 2 weeks total by the time the babies come. So he proceeds to tell me "do I really need to take the whole 2 weeks when u have them? I mean its not like they'll be doing anything by then like crawling or talking"

Me: *evil stare* ......So u think that you'll just be making an appearance from time to time just to witness "milestone moments" and you don't even factor in that those "2 weeks" will be the first moments we have with our twins that we struggled for 4 years to have and you don't factor in that because this is a multiple pregnancy that there might be (god forbid) any complications that would cause them to be in the nicu. And you dont factor in that because its twins im more likely to have a cs and didnt think you'd want to be there for me in case it takes longer for me to bounce back and considering we'll be moving to another state soon where I dont know anyone and my family lives 250 miles away so ill be alone most of the time? U kidding me?

Hes like oh i didnt think of it that way...

no shit sherlock smh

SmarieMcB84 · February 2014

"We really need to cut back on sweets in this house" ... Smh. Me starring eyes wide open like are you serious "I'm f@ck!ng pregnant don't mess with my sweets!!" And we have two boys 4 and 2, who god forbid they don't get a treat after their nap!

JSS1002 · February 2014

"Do we really need to buy a second crib? Can't DS just transition to the full sized bed that is in the guest room?"

Um. Your son is 10 months old. He can't even crawl yet. Yes, we need to drop $150 on a crib.

"Do we really need a double stroller? WE have the jogging stroller in addition to the normal one."

Really? You're going to push two strollers by yourself? I would LOVE to see that.

biokitty42 · February 2014

A variation of this usually happens a couple times a week around here:

Me: *pleasant conversation*

DH: *nonsense BS unrelated response*

Me: What? That makes no sense. What do you mean?

DH: *blank stare* I don't know.

Me: But why did you say that?

DH: I don't remember what I just said.

Me: GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Annsor · February 2014

I'm a very clean person & I'm very set in my monthly cleaning routine which usually consists of me moving all the furniture & cleaning the baseboards. We have a ton of pets & I don't like to see dust bunnies. Every couple of months I move our bedroom furniture and clean the carpets. DH asked me why I haven't moved our SOLID WOOD bed and cleaned under it. Uuuuummmmm??? That seemed to hit a nerve, cause I'm still pissed off at him. I've decided I'm on a total cleaning strike for the next week or two.

hollster8 · February 2014

We were talking about a family reunion that is scheduled for July. My OB has a very firm policy about not traveling after 32 weeks. At that point I will be exactly 32 weeks. With DD I had to go to his bridezilla of a sister's wedding (was in the wedding party) in Florida, she made us run around like crazy doing things for her, ended up in the hospital with contractions, had to stay in the hospital for 12 hours with no food, thought I was going to have my baby at 31 weeks in Florida. We both swore we would never travel that close to the "no travel date" again.

I told DH that we probably wouldn't be able to make the reunion but that we'd talk to the doctor. He suggested he and DD go by themselves. It's at a lake that is 4 hours away and all of our family would be there. I said to him, "but what if something goes wrong like last time? I don't want to be alone." He says:

"why can't you just drive yourself to the hospital??"

I nearly slapped him.

buddrfly421 · February 2014

Forgetting my first appointment! X( he made a dentist appt and then I said well don't forget what were doing at 2:00. He says ha ha funny you got me....what? He says i know we don't have anything planned you're tricking me.

he apologized but I've already told him 800 times what day and time
It's at! I think he got the pregnancy brain this time lol

brittneyandadam · February 2014

He says that he's tired...a lot. And I just stare at him. My favorite is when I'm beyond horny and he says he's too tired for sex...not just at night...this could be at 3 in the afternoon. I get it once a week if I'm lucky...and it just doesn't cut it right now. Honestly, my inner pregzilla is screaming, "YOU SHOULD BE WORSHIPPING THE GROUND I WALK ON, MINION!!!"

rebennett06 · February 2014

Love it ladies! So glad I'm bit the only one with an idiot for a DH. I love him-but I don't have to like him right now.

Bonnesetter27 · February 2014

Dh came home after spending a few hours with the boys. He kissed me and I commented on how he reeked of beer. He says I had 1 like 3 hours ago. You are like a dog. Hmm
Last night I was eating some cookie dough oreos, four to be exact. He looked over at my cookies for a long time. I say don't judge me. He replies I was just counting them, that's an awful lot. Bite me!

MrsLaLaBug · February 2014

"Are you sure you're hungry again? That was a lot!"
Bish, get up and prepare my second course. There's no need for commentary.

Irisheyes1247 · February 2014

My dh isn't bad but my mom's favorite story from when I was born is they arrived at te hospital, 3 weeks before her due date and my mom was in active labor, almost ready to push. My dad says to her, "I can't believe you need to stay like this for 3 more weeks!"

alisonc87 · February 2014

Last night I had "morning sickness" (that shows up whenever it pleases, I think it was a man that made that name up). First my husband let our cats in the bathroom and closed the door, then as I was cleaning up and trying to get in the shower he came in and said, "wait, I have to pee before you get in there." I may have used some choice words to tell him that when he is carrying our baby and has puke in his hair then he can have first dibs on the bathroom. Until then he can hold it while I wash my hair and brush my teeth, or go outside and pee. (And since we live in Maine and it is sub-zero at night he opted to wait for me to be done)

shutaff · February 2014

More funny than annoying, but right after we found out and I told him I was tired because my body was building the placenta, he came home from work one day and asked, straight faced, "So, how's the placenta coming along?"

jjenkinsreid · February 2014

As I was sitting on the bathroom, head in the toilet, wretching up my insides, DH walks up to the door, waits for me to look up & says "mmmeh, my stomach hurts. I think it's something I ate." &that's when all hell broke lose.

ConversationFear · February 2014

So far DH has been really awesome and not said anything stupid. My friend who is also pregnant - her DH - now he popped off with a winner the other night!

BFFDH: "I think that cesarians are weird. It's just weird that you go to the hospital and they take the baby and give it to you."

BFF: "Why is that weird?"

BFFDH: "I don't know - I just think it means more when you really work for it."

*blank stares and crickets*

BFF: "So - WHO's having this baby again? What WORK are YOU going to be doing? Trying to figure out which channel on TV will calm your boredom while you wait for me to "really work for it" and have this baby?"

EscoMama · February 2014

My DH mainly just mirrors everything I say and do, minus the puking. I can't stop burping, he now thinks he can burp the alphabet. I'm exhausted, he says me too. I buy extra snack food to keep from puking every three hours, he EATS IT. I make a snack and he EATS IT OFF MY PLATE. Now that I think of it, eating my food is my biggest pet peeve right now! LOL

[Deleted User] · February 2014

DH hasn't been too bad yet, but lately he swears he's experiencing my symptoms too (nausea, heightened sense of smell, etc.). Hell, I wish we could exchange symptoms for a day or a few hours at a time so I can feel like myself again.

debikae · February 2014

The day after we got our BFP, my husband showed up at my work with a lunch. Two large hamburgers and a large blizzard from dairy queen. I shared with my co-workers but asked my husband why he had brought such a large lunch. His reply, "You're eating for two now." I set him straight on that pretty quickly.

NClady89 · February 2014

Today I mentioned feeling huge and cow like,you know because I can't button or zip my regular pants. DH "you look exactly like you did 10weeks ago" ummmm...excuse me it is lucky you are driving or I would throat punch you! Later this evening as I am changing clothes "wow babe you are getting a little belly on you." Seriously my DH could win an award for least amount of tact.

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