Touchy Feely

itsmevkb · February 2014

In the post below about not being nervous to give birth, one person mentioned that it may not be as touchy feely as going through IVF. I'm just wondering how many other women out there didn't want anything touchy feely at all during labor? I can remember the nurses and my husband telling me how brave I was, how great I was doing and yadda, yadda and I literally was just rolling my eyes at them. What I really wanted them to say was "yea, boy that really sucks that you can't have an epidural, I'll bet it hurts like hell. As soon as you push the baby out we'll give you some Percocet." Ha!

But, I'm not much the touchy feely type in any situation. My husband buys me super sappy Valentine's Day cards and I buy him funny ones. When I was trying to choose the wording for our wedding invitation I asked the woman if she had any that didn't have phrases like "joined in love" on them. She looked at me like I had two heads. So, this pops up every so often and I just find it a little funny.

kzawisl · February 2014

I am much more comedy than romance, too.

mcgeeva · February 2014

Touchy feely here yet did a c-section so there wasn't really any. But I definitely want the affection. Not if I was hurting like hell..I probably wouldn't want him anywhere near me, anything he would say would piss me off I can imagine

itsmevkb · February 2014

And to me, especially with the nurses, it's just so disingenuous. It's not brave to have a baby without pain meds when they are refusing to give you pain meds. That's called having no choice. Also, do they ever tell women they aren't doing great? I just assume they use the same lines with everyone. I guess along with not being very touchy feely, I am also a bit of a cynic.

TJ1979 · February 2014

I thought for sure I would want the support and massage and hand holding. I wanted none if that. Just keep feeding me ice chips and shut up! Haha!

JBDamonM · February 2014

OMG @Ducky719- I feel the SAME way about cards!!!

My big thing during labor was that I did not want anyone talking to me. It drove me INSANE to have to speak. I literally could not handle it. My DH was pretty good for the most part. Wiping me down with a cold cloth and feeding me ice chips. The nurses really didn't cheer me on (thankfully) and my Dr did tell me a few times "You got this..." I didn't have a problem with that though - it wasn't too over the top.

If anyone cheered me on any more than that I probably would have throat punched them.

kmc84 · February 2014

I love this post!!! Not much romance, touchy feelyness over here either

One of the biggest reasons we didn't tell anyone I was in labor was because I did not want my mil anywhere near me. She is very touchy feely mushy yadda yadda..... All I wanted was to laugh (if possible), walk around, then push a baby out. My preferred support would be Nike-'just do it'

Saraevh · February 2014

I didn't read the other post, but I'm with @Ducky. My husband and I are also best friends who happen to be roomates who occasionally have awkward, painful, dry, postpartum sex and are doing the best they can to raise three crazy kids together.

The two times I was in labor I didn't want anyone near me let alone cheering me on and I told my husband to shut up after he said "C'mon Sara, push him out!" one too many times. During my c-section I didn't feel touchy feely either, but I wasn't in pain or exhausted or feeling like I was going to die at any given second so I didn't mind him talking to me/being by my side.

I'm the same way when it comes to anniversaries and sappy holidays - I always go the funny route. I actually just got my husband a card for Valentines day with a picture of a squirrel scratching its privates that says, "I'm nuts for you" on it.

I don't even like kissing ... yuck

jessica_gail2 · February 2014

I may be the odd gal out. I wouldn't call my labor or delivery touchy feely, but I had awesome nurses. They made it feel more personal (which sounds stupid) and I really felt like they were helping delivery go as smoothly as possible. Now nobody came in and talked low and rubbed and all that. And DH and I are extremely unromantic so he was mostly like holy crap I hope S comes soon bc you're starting to lose it (18 hrs of labor). But I will say I appreciated the support. I wanted my parents and sister OUT while I was in labor though. Blech.

CarrieB. · February 2014

I think this is funny, because my first birth was kind of touchy freely, as much as it can be with IVs and pitocin. There was lavender aromatherapy and the lights were dimmed and the moon was rising above the lake out my window and the nurses were there holding my hand when I got my epi.

My second birth was the total opposite, not a very nice nurse, being left alone while on insane painful pitocin contractions until I got my epi and then this old man doctor who smelled like cigarettes yanking my baby out with like every light in the hospital pointed at me. DH said it looked like the doctor was working on a car.

But really it didn't matter at all. The lavender didn't really do too much anyway.

kbeach82 · February 2014

I am not a touchy feely person, except for when it comes to my kids. My poor DH and I argue about my lack of affection all the time (I've been consciously working on it, so we've been doing better recently).

I really didn't want anything to do with anyone (DH included) during either of my labor experiences. For the most part, I really wanted SILENCE (unless I initiated conversation, then it was ok) and I really didn't want anyone touching me. V was sunny side up and I had some ridiculously painful back labor with him, so I did appreciate my mom rubbing/pressing on my lower back (DH seemed to have no clue what I was asking him to do, so he was no help).

My labor with the twins went from 0-60 in like an hour (after my doctor broke my water), and I was convinced I was going to give birth in the hallway while they were wheeling me into the OR (my doctor performs all twin deliveries in the OR just in case there are complications and baby #2 ends up having to be delivered via a C-section, etc.). It seemed like complete chaos once we got into the OR. I am SO thankful that one of my nurses warned me about that earlier in the day - she said that it would seem like chaos because of the amount of people that would be there, but that was normal and not to get freaked out. I definitely would have freaked out if it hadn't been for her! That birth was most definitely not touchy feely, which was fine with me.

I had really sweet nurses for both of my deliveries. While I appreciated their encouragement, I still didn't want them trying to hold my hand or anything. I'm just not that kind of girl when it comes down to it.

mnj05 · February 2014

I'm not touchy feely person in general either. I am with DH and DS, but that's it, and even at that I don't smother DH in hugs/kisses every day. I like the romantic gestures, just not all of the touchy ones and DH doesn't get it.

As far as labor went, we just talked all day with the nurse. We found out, while filling out paperwork, that our nurse lives around the corner from us and has a baby girl five months older that DS that goes to the same daycare, so we had a lot in common to talk about. We were having fun and during my 3.5 hours of pushing, it got to where I did it on my own without my nurse telling me when or how long because we were all distracted by conversation. There's no way I would exchange that experience for an all hands on, mushy, quiet, love fest. Even though I did have the epi and didn't feel much, I needed that laughter and great conversation to make the hours pass and take the attention off of me, well most of it anyway.

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