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Update: hypnobirth/doula/birth plan questions

kalmte214kalmte214 member
edited February 2014 in Natural Birth
I spoke with the doula, and it really cleared a lot up so I feel much more comfortable about her.

I spoke with the OBs at my practice, and they are very supportive of my preferences.  One was hesitant about me saying I don't want an induction, because she wanted me to be aware that some circumstances may require induction.  I agreed that my plan was absolutely flexible depending on baby's needs.

Also took a tour of the hospital, and it seems the nursing staff and hospital is supportive of natural birth and of many of my preferences--they even provide birthing ball, bar and stool!

Thanks again for your feedback!


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DH and I took the hypnobirthing course, which I was very happy with.  I've been very excited about it, practicing daily, etc.

Several months back, I hired a doula.  She is not trained in hypnobirthing, which I was fine with, as I'm comfortable with my and DH's ability to help me stay focused.  I hired a doula to help advocate for me, as I'm having a hospital birth and wanted some extra support.

We met with the doula for the first time since I hired her months ago to go over preferences/birth plan/etc.  She was much more negative than she had been when I hired her.  She kept talking about the things I wanted in my birth plan (freedom to labor and birth in positions most comfortable to me, room as dim and quiet as possible, breathing the baby down/pushing only when I feel the urge and not when directed, etc.) as not being likely to be honored in the hospital. This has really been bothering me.

Is it really unlikely that the OBs and nurses will not respect my wishes and birth plan?  I probably should have hired a doula knowledgeable about hypnobirthing, but since the contract is signed and payment made, I can't change that decision now.

Any suggestions, thoughts or advice?
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Re: Update: hypnobirth/doula/birth plan questions

  • sschwegesschwege member
    Her attitude is disheartening.  Have you discussed your preferences with your provider?  Do you think your OB is supportive?  

    From what you have written your birth plan does not sound outlandish and I don't see why they wouldn't be able/willing to accommodate you.  I had two med-free hospital births with CNMs and had a wonderful experience both times.  I think for her to make mass generalizations about hospital births demonstrates a lack of knowledge regarding them.  
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  • aylafsu88aylafsu88 member
    I agree with the PP. Your doula should be positive and working with you in that situation to make the best of your birth and the hospital in general. I think many hospitals and OBs get a bad wrap for stuff like that but there are natural birth friendly hospitals and OBs. I had a hospital birth with a OB and a doula. My doula worked with me to stay home as long as possible. When we arrived at the hospital I was in transition and refused the Heplock entirely. The nurse never argued with me even though my practice requires one. I also ate and drank as I wanted and practiced pushing in the tub. My point is there are good nurses out there and not all hospitals/OB are bad.
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  • rubylovebugrubylovebug member
    Is your doula referring to the specific hospital or OB practice you're with?  I know that I'm going to a high intervention hospital & I have been less than enthused with the approach of some of the doctors in my practice, so having a doula on the same page as DH & I was really important (even though she's not trained in HypnoBabies, she's been really supportive & willing to learn).

    Perhaps your doula is trying to warn you about that attitude of your hospital?  Regardless, there's no need for her to be negative.  She's there to support & coach you, & if you don't feel like you're getting that support or if she's adding stress to your birthing process, I would talk to her about it ASAP so that you can try to come to a resolution.
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  • GPeterson24GPeterson24 member

    As a doula myself I can understand where she's coming from.  Sometimes a client's wishes aren't realistic given their care provider or birth location and we want our clients to be prepared to encounter resistance.

    Sounds like her ways of conveying that to you could use a little finesse though.  Is she suggesting alternatives or ideas to help you get what you want?

    Just an FYI...doulas cannot advocate on your behalf.  We are there to support you but almost all of the training/certifying organizations make it very clear that we are not advocates.

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  • kalmte214kalmte214 member

    It's possible that she's referring to this particular practice/hospital, but she said she has not attended a birth at this hospital, so it wouldn't be from personal experience if she was.

    I'll be talking with my doc about my preferences at my next appointment. If they seem really close minded and not open to discussing my preferences, I plan to look into transferring to the midwifery practice that just started here.

    As for advocating, I just meant that she could provide me with more information, education and support when I'm approached make decisions in the hospital. I definitely phrased that wrong in the first post :)

    I think I'll contact her tomorrow too talk to her more about hypnobirthing. I can't imagine she would be opposed to learning more about it so she can best support me.
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  • aylafsu88aylafsu88 member
    I get what you are saying about the advocating. My H and I were in the same situation with our doula. We knew that she could not talk to the doctors or nurses about our wishes as she is not a medical professional. What we did want was her advice/info if a situation arose. In my birth if something did come up we all had a plan where we would ask the nurse/OB for some private time to discuss the situation. In this private time our doula could tell us if this was normal, if she thought the OB was trying to scare/rush me etc. This would eliminate any rush decisions that they may push me to make.
    Honestly, some of the things your doula is complaining about are not that radical in a hospital setting. Some even depend on the nurse you have. I know that my nurse let me labor down before calling the OB in. Also when I moved to the bed to start pushing (I labored in the tub) I got into the position I wanted. No one told me to move and if they did I would not have unless their was a medical need. I would speak with your provider and feel them out about the situation.
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