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Is this PPD?

jennikarlejennikarle member
in Postpartum Depression
I've never been depressed, ever. But suddenly in the last month a physical sadness has crept over me that I can't seem to understand or control. However, my son is 12 months. So it's not just like I had a baby yesterday. Could this be considered PPD? I know it sounds silly, but I'm so embarrassed and confused that I don't talk to anyone about it. I've tried changing my diet, I quite drinking, I've joined some activities...at the end of the day I still feel so disconnected. I love my son to death, but I feel like I am not worthy of taking care of him. I hate it. 
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Re: Is this PPD?

  • SLWoodySLWoody member
    I have been told that PPD can happen until a year after the baby is born, so it could be. Either way it sounds like you are struggling and should seek out some help.

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  • SBmommaSBmomma member
    I started feeling the blues when my DS was around 15 months old. Before that I never had any issues with depression. I personally think mine was linked to when I stopped breast feeding. I just felt sad that my son didn't need my milk any more...which made me sad that he had grown so quickly. I would cry over silly things like if I saw a photo of him as a newborn, or if I saw his bouncy seat we stored away in our garage. Mine lasted about 10 days before I came out of it.
    Your body goes through a lot of hormone fluctuations when your milk dries up. Could this be the case with you?
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  • jennikarlejennikarle member
    I've been doing a little reading, and I'm starting to realize that I may have had PPD all along. Just not in the way I expected it to be. Ever since my son has been born I've been in a constant physical state of anxiety/stress. I'm constantly tense, constantly grinding my teeth, I always feel wound up and like I can't relax. It turns out this could be signs of PPD. I guess I was surprised because I always imagined PPD being feelings of deep sadness, not anxiety. I'm still embarrassed, which I know is silly. But I have a check up with my OB soon, so at least I can talk to her about it then. For now I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I'm not as ok as I thought I was this past year. :( Also, I did just recently finish up breast feeding, and for that reason started getting my period again. Which could explain the intense changes in mood. 
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  • rdonovanrdonovan member
    I was confused about my post partum anxiety also because it didn't seem like it was the classic depression symptoms. I had terrible anxiety and insomnia because I was so anxious and adrenaline filled. I'm sure that your period returning could change all your hormones up again. Have you thought about seeing someone? I saw a counselor for a bit and was prescribed a med which made a world of difference.

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  • megsandjohnmegsandjohn member
    It could definitely be PPD. I experienced it after my son was a year and I was so ashamed I didn't reach out for help for a very long time. You are not alone and you are not a bad mom. My turning point was when I finally admitted I wasn't ok and asked for help. I was able to get counselling and be completely honest about how I was feeling and it really helped. I also went on meds bit everyone is different. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Easier said than done, I know. The shame is sometimes the worst part but this is not your fault and you will get through it but please don't try to do it alone. Hugs to you mama!

     

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