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XP 3T: So in a Dilemma

Sunni01Sunni01 member
edited February 2014 in Third-Party Reproduction
I know I haven't started a discussion in a long time. Really I looked back and said, dang it's been that long. So here I go. Well I think I am at a cross roads. I have given myself 5 IUI's to achieve my dream of a rainbow baby. Little did I know that I would get pregnant 3 out of the 4 times and miscarry. This fifth one coming up has me having so many mixed emotions, that I don't know what to do or where to go. RE wants me to start in the direction of DE if this cycle fails, but I am still scared of the thought. This is the most confused that I have ever been in my life. I usually come here, 3T/ ttc after 35/ IF, but thought that I can handle this this time. I can't. I do need you ladies. I am afraid/ scared. I know I am not ready for ivf, emotionally and I have not looked into it financially. Thanks for reading.
BabyFetus Ticker

Me-39, HSG 2/13- clear. DS-IUI #1-3/13,300iu Menopur 12 days,3 days Cetrotide, Ovidrel Trigger-BFN. IUI #2 06/13, BFP EDD: 02/22/14 m/c (cp), IUI #3- BFP EDD: 5/17/14 m/c 09/13. Blood work/RPL panel- nk cell/MTHFR mutation- negative. Blood work all good. Unexplained reason for m/c. IUI #4 BFP m/c (cp) 10/13. IUI #5- 12/13 Cancelled. No response. (1)follicle. IUI #5.1- 2/14. IVF Bound

********************SAIF/ PAIF/ ALL ARE WELCOME***********************
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Re: XP 3T: So in a Dilemma

  • 2MamazInSeattle2MamazInSeattle member
    What a tough place to be :( I'm so sorry. Being unexplained is awful because you don't have a problem to fix, or just accept. Here's hoping this cycle is the one, and you don't have to go any further.

    However, if you do, you said it yourself that you are not ready yet. I highly recommend seeing a fertility-related counselor or therapist to talk with you about these feelings. If your goal is to 'get there' in terms of donor eggs, then she will be able to help. Another less expensive route is to consider embryo adoption - much cheaper than a DE/DS cycle in most cases. But before you dig into the logistics, it sounds like you'll need a little time to grieve and accept whatever next step you take. We've all been there in some degree,  and it's a process. You're not alone.
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
    (((Hugs))) and no advise, just take it one day at a time, one decision at a time. It gets so overwhelming so be gentle with yourself.

    April 2013 DE IVF= BFN

    September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...

    October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C

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