Question for moms with 2 or more children

j-aleo1 · January 2014

Hi ladies thanks for reading this, i promise it will be quick.

Long story short Hubby and I were having a conversation the other day about his sister announcing her pregnancy and my cousin telling me she will TTC in the next few months. With all the baby talk and excitement we decided we want to TTC again later on this year. So excited and giddy but I'm so nervous!

We already have an absolutely amazing, but energetic 18 month year old boy. Absolutely he is the love of my life but whenever he does something naughty I think "will this be too overwhelming"? I always come back to yes it will but I still want too lol, but is now the right time?

Basically my question to moms of more than 1 is: What do you think the ideal age/ milestone is for the first child when introducing a sibling? We were thinking about TTC after our little guy starts potty training in July of this year? How long did you wait after baby number 1 and do you wish you waited longer or started sooner?

kcisthebombdotcom · January 2014

I had my kids 12 months apart and wouldn't space them any differently. there's no ideal. reaching milestones makes some things easier and other things harder. If you start trying when your oldest is two you might have spacing just under three years apart. some kids are really challenging at that age. others may be challenging before or after that timeframe. it a crapshoot no matter what the spacing.

Jags8 · January 2014

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12238851/baby-2#latest

24karat · January 2014

It's a very personal decision. If you are financially ready to have another child, pick a time to start that works for your family dynamic. Children differ so much with personalities etc that what's ideal for one family may be anything but for another.

Personally, we began TTC before potty training as DD wasn't ready to start yet. I didn't want to push the matter prematurely. It took a few months to get our BFP and my children ended up 22 months apart in age. I'm happy with the timing, though sometimes I think it might have been helpful to have a little more spacing since our second pregnancy ended up being twins.

sschwege · January 2014

I always had it in my mind that 2-3 years apart would be perfect. Mine are 2 1/4 apart, which has worked out really well for us. DD was old enough to understand being gentle with the baby and could wait short periods of time if baby needed something right away. I had two in diapers for a brief period of time (4 months). I honestly don't see why people always make a big deal about that, I'm one of those rare folks that thinks diapers are easier I guess. It's like by the time they tell you they have to go potty they are 60 seconds away from having an accident. So you are rushing to find a potty or find a place to put baby down to help them. At least when they are in diapers, even though you have to change them of course, it's not quite the same level of urgency.

We want one more and we are planning to do a similar separation, DS will probably 2 1/2-3 when number 3 comes.

Wine&Cupcakes · February 2014

Nicb13 said:

DS will be 2 next month and I just found out I'm pregnant with #2. DS will be a little over 2 1/2 when this one is born and that's perfect for me. DS takes so much of my time and I enjoy giving him my undivided attention. For me, I couldn't imagine having 2 under 2 like lots of people do. I'm not up for a challenge like that

Holy crap, I missed this! Congrats!!

October30th2004 · February 2014

Our boys are 3 years apart. I was hoping for 2 years but it works well and it looks like our next will be about 3 years from our 2nd. I will tell you this I should have waited until #2 was born to start potty training. Our 1st was just about done with potty training then we had #2 but we also moved across the country when the baby was 3 months old. So just a hard time for #1.

JocelynB0911 · February 2014

Dd and ds1 are 15.5 months apart and ds1 and the twins are 2.5 years apart. I wouldn't change a thing.

aynjc · February 2014

My girls are almost 3 years apart and I can't imagine anything different. My youngest is going to be 2 next month and we officially started trying this month. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant soon, they will be about 3 years apart, too.

nursekatie47 · February 2014

My 2 are 27 months apart and it was a lot of work, but my situation was special. I got pregnant just before DH moved away for a job, continued to work full time rotating shifts and prepare and sell a house all while DH was gone. We moved 3 hours away from all friends an family when #2 was 5 weeks old. We are waiting to TTC #3 until this fall early next year. DD is almost 5 and DS will be 3 in May. So the ago gap this time will be much larger, but I think it will be much more manageable.

wirt2cute · February 2014

I think I waited too long. My boys are 10 years apart and it is not any easier. My 13 year old is so on his own and just wants to be left alone and my 4 year old is in at this new stage of he thinks he knows everything. They are on two different levels. I wish I would have had my kids closer together in age.

MrsRustyGriswold · February 2014

Mine are 26 months apart. It was hard at first. We were potty training DD when DS was newborn among other things. BUT, I am so glad they are close together. It has only gotten easier as we go along and I'm hopeful they will be close friends like my sister (almost 3 years apart) and I are.