sharing experience: do african babies never cry?

EmumLys · February 2014

well, hello again

i think most of you have been curious about this qn and want to know more about this

where can i start???...mmmmh....ok

first all babies cry.. but then depends on severity. i can say most african babies wont be crying most of the times. for example my son cries when he has needs ie.. hunger, wants to sleep, cuddle etc..

in Africa, taking care of the baby isnt the mothers self job. actually when you just come from delivery someone older than you( may be MIL/ your own mother/grands/ aunt) has to be around so to help you with all where about of having a baby... as you know the first PP days are really difficult , here in the first 7 days(some go up to 40 days PP), a woman shouldnt be doing any work.. someone is gonna be taking care of laundry, cooking, prepare you warm bath and show helps with bathing the baby, plus hot water massage(helps PP utero clots to come out/making mom feel good). mom's work is only feeding the newborn and get rest/sleep when the baby sleeps so you can regain your energy. When the baby cries thats everybody's duty to sooth him unless its hungry, mom has to feed.

and there is something about grannies, when they sooth babies and sing for them they get so calm and quiet..

but then we offer BF whenever baby needs it... no schedules whatsoever.. you know babies cry alot when they are hungry.. and we offer lots of cuddles.. no crib time. the baby is likely to be bed sharing with mom up to 1 or 2 years, sometimes 3 depends with families.. so at night baby doesnt cry much as he feels the warmth of the mom and his needs are met, anytime..

cuddles ,cuddles lots of cuddles... African moms carry their kids on their backs.. when they are fussy- and they get so calm.. or when mom is too busy at home/farm elsewhere, you just carry them on your back and do your job-- babies love this- and they sleep so fast . i think its because of more close contact with the mother /warmth/ listening to mom voice through the back when she sings for the baby or talk..sometimes they even burry their head inside the piece of cloth used for carrying the baby and they stay quiet there(i have attached some photos) . i know you can compare this with baby carriers, but see this method has more skin/close contact with the mom)

Personal experience: after delivery my MIL had to travel 4 days to come to my city to take of me while in late preg and after delivery.. she stayed for 3 months. she helped around a lot when baby cries from soothing, rocking, singing for the baby(we dont use white noise/soft music- mom's voice and heart beat is best music to baby ever) monitoring boob attachment/foods to increase milk supply(no need for lactational specialist).. its like the baby has somebody's attention everytime, why should they cry?? most times my son would cry when he has needs although i dont deny the fact that there are some babies who are really fussy besides all the care,but not so many

we dont sleep train babies.. they sleep when they are ready to sleep , we just make sure their needs are met.. if their need are met, they are going to be awake but calm and they sleep when they are ready.. whats important is somehow keeping the routine somehow constant everyday ie say baby takes bath at 7pm everyday there after feeds, then sleeps when ready. most times my son falls asleep when he's feeding soon after taking warm bath(almost around the same time everyday)

pheeeew!!!!!! have written too much!! hope that gives some light into that topic

next time a'l share something bout milestones

WanderingA · February 2014

I love this, thank you for sharing! I think that a lot of the things that you mentioned here fall in line with the "attachment parenting" idea in the US. For example, responding to baby's needs, wearing the baby and bed-sharing.

I LOVE the MIL asisstance though and wish that was more common practice here! I had a lot of help after I delivered my baby but having someone stay with me and take care of the baby when she didn't need to nurse would have been amazing I think this would probably help mothers heal more quickly and provide a lot of stress relief.

sparkymcgeee · February 2014

Interesting. What about issues with reflux or colic? How do you take care of those special circumstances?

sparkymcgeee · February 2014

Or what if the mother simply can't breastfeed? The milk doesn't come in, baby doesn't latch, tongue tie, etc.

Clyde013 · February 2014

Thanks for sharing. Getting lots of help from family is similar to eastern traditions also.

pantsarella · February 2014

Didn't someone share an article that said all this before?

I guess my DD is going to cry because she's formula fed and left at daycare everyday so I can go to work.

madimyluv · February 2014

That story was simply beautiful. I wish I had that type of help when LO was born. Thank you for sharing :x

EmumLys · February 2014

Meimsx said:

Interesting. What about issues with reflux or colic? How do you take care of those special circumstances?

speaking on the medical perspective: we dont give any meds

but on parenting side: people use herbs, i realy cant tell you what they are because it depends with societies and tribes.. but medically we dont advice herb use, you know they are not approved and things of the like..

but then there is traditional enema for the baby.. and then there is soothing.. holding the baby tight on your shoulder ,tightening the belly and sometimes with smooth pats on the back / make baby sleep on tummy on your lap with softly patting the back and buttocks.. helps somehow.

but you know colic doesnt last forever...

EmumLys · February 2014

Meimsx said:

Or what if the mother simply can't breastfeed? The milk doesn't come in, baby doesn't latch, tongue tie, etc.

she can use formula.. but then here almost all moms breastfeeds, unless they have med contraindications

but if there is no formula availability, we use cows milk.. and most people wean(meaning solids/cereals) very early say at 2 to 3 months...

but giving baby water that may even starts from 1 month old

WanderingA · February 2014

pantsarella said:

Didn't someone share an article that said all this before?

I guess my DD is going to cry because she's formula fed and left at daycare everyday so I can go to work.

I don't think she was trying to be judgmental about anyone's choices (at least I didn't read it that way at all), she is just sharing what is common practice there because a bunch of us expressed interest in it when she introduced herself.

Pink724 · February 2014

Thank you for sharing! So interesting.

sparkymcgeee · February 2014

EmumLys said:

Meimsx said:

Or what if the mother simply can't breastfeed? The milk doesn't come in, baby doesn't latch, tongue tie, etc.
she can use formula.. but then here almost all moms breastfeeds, unless they have med contraindications
but if there is no formula availability, we use cows milk.. and most people wean(meaning solids/cereals) very early say at 2 to 3 months...

but giving baby water that may even starts from 1 month old

That's very interesting. Is there much supplementing? Like for instance, I no longer pump at work and so my son takes formula during the day and then I nurse mornings, evenings, overnight and weekends.

Married071709 · February 2014

Thank for sharing! Can't wait to read more about you.

pantsarella · February 2014

robynloureed said:

Didn't someone share an article that said all this before?

I guess my DD is going to cry because she's formula fed and left at daycare everyday so I can go to work.
im pretty sure she wasnt judging anyone. We expressed intrested in how she parents in her culture. Calm down.

I'm not upset. What she wrote looked very similar to the article that was posted where many people expressed the same viewpoint.

I didn't see her intro and no where in her post did she say that people asked about her culture- just about how and why african babies don't cry- the topic of the article that was posted.

Lelo2006 · February 2014

pantsarella said:

robynloureed said:

pantsarella said:
Didn't someone share an article that said all this before?

I guess my DD is going to cry because she's formula fed and left at daycare everyday so I can go to work.
im pretty sure she wasnt judging anyone. We expressed intrested in how she parents in her culture. Calm down.

I'm not upset. What she wrote looked very similar to the article that was posted where many people expressed the same viewpoint.

I didn't see her intro and no where in her post did she say that people asked about her culture- just about how and why african babies don't cry- the topic of the article that was posted.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12250180/super-late-intro-dirty-dirty-lurker-ever#latest

Here is her intro post.... In the thread someone asked her about it and she said she would post another thread addressing the topic.

I think it's interesting to get some first hand perspective; thanks op for sharing

cwhitloc · February 2014

Thanks OP for your perspective. I really love how family is involved and don't think the only need the baby has is hunger. Especially in the early days, all everyone thought my baby wanted was the boob when she cried. So frustrating. I still get that when I drop her off for child care.

Everyone can help soothe the baby. Very nice.

giraffeluvspi · February 2014

Thanks for sharing! I wish our culture here supported this technique more, but I do believe too many people get caught up on spoiling children.

TheLittleRedM · February 2014

Thanks for sharing!

PrimRoseMama · February 2014

Thank you for sharing!

karen0477 · February 2014

Thanks for sharing your experience...I find it very interesting to see different cultures and the differences in parenting....

ljs4117 · February 2014

Thanks for sharing. I think what you described is a wonderful way to raise babies. I wish this was easier to accomplish in the US. I feel like instead of helping one another we all feel it is us against everyone else.. hence the defensiveness, perhaps.

Bmore721 · February 2014

Thank you for sharing!

jeng100 · February 2014

Thank you for sharing! I loved reading this!

Hilaboo86 · February 2014

Now I want to move to Africa!!! That sounds great! I love all of the support you get. Lucky lady! The mother experience sounds great in your culture! It's great here too, but you know what I mean, I hope! Also, the pictures are beautiful!

mandyrator79 · February 2014

My husband is from Morocco and it sounds pretty similar in terms of family stepping in to help out afterwards. My husband says the mothers get tons of help for at least a few months afterwards.

je2161 · February 2014

Really interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Dani428 · February 2014

So interesting thanks for sharing!!!

Myrrhaj · February 2014

Very interesting. Thank you for sharing.

rondosa · February 2014

This is so wonderful to learn about...I thought I was spoiled with 3 weeks of help from my mom, I can't imagine how nice it would be to have two to three months! Wow. Thanks for sharing

EmumLys · February 2014

Meimsx said:

EmumLys said:

Meimsx said:

Or what if the mother simply can't breastfeed? The milk doesn't come in, baby doesn't latch, tongue tie, etc.
she can use formula.. but then here almost all moms breastfeeds, unless they have med contraindications
but if there is no formula availability, we use cows milk.. and most people wean(meaning solids/cereals) very early say at 2 to 3 months...

but giving baby water that may even starts from 1 month old
That's very interesting. Is there much supplementing? Like for instance, I no longer pump at work and so my son takes formula during the day and then I nurse mornings, evenings, overnight and weekends.

actually people supplement here because they believe mothers milk is not enough for the baby especially after 2-3 months(even if mom has oversupply) actually its more of a belief than reality

i do the same like you , because i am working the whole day, i leave my son with a nanny at home so by the time i am at work he uses formula when i am around i BF as much as am needed to.although if i had a chance to BF exclusively for 6 months i would do it..

jackson290721 · February 2014

What does your SN mean?

I keep reading it as E-mom-lies...

sparkymcgeee · February 2014

EmumLys said:

Meimsx said:

EmumLys said:

Meimsx said:

Or what if the mother simply can't breastfeed? The milk doesn't come in, baby doesn't latch, tongue tie, etc.
she can use formula.. but then here almost all moms breastfeeds, unless they have med contraindications
but if there is no formula availability, we use cows milk.. and most people wean(meaning solids/cereals) very early say at 2 to 3 months...

but giving baby water that may even starts from 1 month old
That's very interesting. Is there much supplementing? Like for instance, I no longer pump at work and so my son takes formula during the day and then I nurse mornings, evenings, overnight and weekends.

actually people supplement here because they believe mothers milk is not enough for the baby especially after 2-3 months(even if mom has oversupply) actually its more of a belief than reality
i do the same like you , because i am working the whole day, i leave my son with a nanny at home so by the time i am at work he uses formula when i am around i BF as much as am needed to.although if i had a chance to BF exclusively for 6 months i would do it..

I was able to breastfeed my daughter until she was 18 months doing this so it's definitely possible to do it that way for a long time. I would love to exclusively BF as well. Probably a year or more. Oh well. This girl has to work.

Want a personalized experience?

sharing experience: do african babies never cry?

Re: sharing experience: do african babies never cry?

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards