- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
July 2014 Moms
Pinksundrops
member
Must Control EVERYTHING
Pinksundrops
member
I dislike being left out of a conversation, so FTM Moms feel free to join in, but I'm wondering if this is more of a STM or even third time mom, as I am, issue.
Anybody else notice a hyper need to control EVERYthing? Okay maybe not EVERYthing, that's probably my dramatic pregnancy hormones talking, but areas where I definetely don't need to be exerting extra control. I'm sure I'm that way normally but I've been on steroid mode since being pregnant. Actually, I'm not sure if I've been on hyper mode or I've noticed the need to control more as I've also been having to let so much go being a third time mom with two DS teenagers and pregnant. I'm too exhausted and out of it emotionally to parent so I've let a LOT go to DH, which actually works out really well since they're boys. Poor DH gets the brunt of my control though, down to his excitement of the baby. He is WAY too excited for a girl along with EVERYbody else we know. I'm mostly silently freaking out a little if it's a boy I'll be the only one who will really love him! Irrational I realize, I think, but I keep trying to quell DHs excitement and bring him back to reality we may have a boy. I really noticed the control when I shushed him last night for telling my parents the names we've picked out for baby (we've had them picked out for years), right down to middle names and found out he's been telling everybody. I told him I may change my mind if he keeps telling people. Gah! What has gotten into me?! I am more blunt since being pregnant, too, so I'm sure that isn't helping, everything pops out of my mouth completely unfiltered, but the need to control is out of control, no pun intended. Working on letting go with DH now as a result, not only DSs. Sigh.
ETA: For clarity. Words when pregnant are hard.
Anybody else notice a hyper need to control EVERYthing? Okay maybe not EVERYthing, that's probably my dramatic pregnancy hormones talking, but areas where I definetely don't need to be exerting extra control. I'm sure I'm that way normally but I've been on steroid mode since being pregnant. Actually, I'm not sure if I've been on hyper mode or I've noticed the need to control more as I've also been having to let so much go being a third time mom with two DS teenagers and pregnant. I'm too exhausted and out of it emotionally to parent so I've let a LOT go to DH, which actually works out really well since they're boys. Poor DH gets the brunt of my control though, down to his excitement of the baby. He is WAY too excited for a girl along with EVERYbody else we know. I'm mostly silently freaking out a little if it's a boy I'll be the only one who will really love him! Irrational I realize, I think, but I keep trying to quell DHs excitement and bring him back to reality we may have a boy. I really noticed the control when I shushed him last night for telling my parents the names we've picked out for baby (we've had them picked out for years), right down to middle names and found out he's been telling everybody. I told him I may change my mind if he keeps telling people. Gah! What has gotten into me?! I am more blunt since being pregnant, too, so I'm sure that isn't helping, everything pops out of my mouth completely unfiltered, but the need to control is out of control, no pun intended. Working on letting go with DH now as a result, not only DSs. Sigh.
ETA: For clarity. Words when pregnant are hard.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Must Control EVERYTHING
My best friend suggested to me the last day my office closed due to snow that I should start on the nursery. What annoyed me most about that was that she assumed I hadn't started yet and also that I wouldn't have thought of it without her suggesting it. Such a ridiculous thing to be annoyed over, it was a very thoughtful suggestion and she's showing her excitement.
I don't know, maybe part of us just wants to think we are already great mommies and that we don't need anyone else's opinions. But I know this is far from true, I will need plenty of advice as time goes on. Just not the unsolicited kind
This woman I work with is so damn opinionated. Her own daughter didn't tell her the names they picked and when the baby was born, she told them she wasn't crazy about the name. Jerk. So she asked me what names we picked and if we are sharing. I said we have a list but not sharing because we don't want to finally pick a name and have someone ruin it for us. So then she goes "well once the baby is here you might not like that name anymore!" I know that idiot, just because I haven't had my own baby doesn't mean I've never heard of that happening to other people. Doesn't mean I'm sharing. Move along.
ETA: ...and yes, I called my DH "my fiance" for the 19 months we were engaged.
@ Pinkie (can I call you pinkie? or do you prefer pinksundrops?)
I am the same way. I think it's because with this one I can't control everything that the things I can control I want to control them to the maximum extent. I totally get where you are coming from!