At a TTC crossroads. Input appreciated :)

stinkerbell6879 · January 2014

So we were going back and forth with our current RE office about the possible donor we liked being available in March, but the contract came back $$ higher then we expected. We even told them that and they dropped it, but still not near what our last contract was, so I was a little WTF?? But was nice, etc...since they STILL are more affordable then the average, and told them we would have to wait until later in the year. Also honestly I have been happy with them and don't want to lose that relationship.

We are trying to not take out extensive loans, etc. we rather pay as much as possible without debt, we worked very hard to get to a good point in our life where we have most of our debt gone.

Now my crossroad is that I have always toyed with the idea of DEmbryo's, due to the cost factor. I was looking at CA Conc.e.p.tions. and for what I pay I can get more bang for the $$$. But now I am not sure if the DH would be on board to this.We never have heard that there is any MFI, almost 90-100% fert rates, etc. But I have also never seen the SA reports myself, just that things are good.

Would it be help to get those reports? Get a second opinion? Our first BFN was Frozen DE, our second BFN was fresh DE, and the MC was a FET of the 2 we had left from the 2nd cycle. Also it's not like we have used a large batch of eggs to get any idea if it is a sperm issue? They are shared cycles with 4-5 eggs being fertilized.

Well sorry for the novel. and TIA for any responses....

Mistyhf · January 2014

I don't have advice as we are about to start our first DE cycle. I do not see how it could hurt to get a second opinion. Praying for success on your next cycle.

DoublePortion · January 2014

I think it's definitely worth it to get the SA reports. Maybe if they used ICSI they could have meant the results were good enough for that instead of just overall good? From all that I've seen on the boards it seems like sometimes you just have to check things out for yourself instead of trusting those who are supposed to be helping you. It would be a lot of money to go through another DE cycle and find out maybe there is a sperm issue. Maybe even consider a sperm frag test?

pcrumley · February 2014

You should see the SA, you paid for it.

is there another RE at that practice you wouldn't mind getting a second opinion from? Congrats on your twins too @doubleportion <:-P

LittleLady77 · February 2014

These decisions are so difficult. I don't think there is any harm (or cost) in looking at the SA results but what if they are good? That still leaves you in the same dilemma. Good luck to you and your DH as you two work through this.

lincoln79 · February 2014

I am generally in the camp of getting as much info as possible. It might not change your decision, but it might.

I also know that sometimes embryos with great grades do not survive a thaw, we had that happen to us. I just raise that point because sometimes this possibility is glossed over.

GL with your decisions!

stinkerbell6879 · February 2014

Thanks everyone. I think it's just so much frustration so I just want to jump to whatever will make this happen ASAP.

I am going to see about getting reports and also just talk to our RE again to see if he offers anymore insight, and express my concerns before we move forward.

MrsT4 · February 2014

Just wanted to send you many (((hugs))) as I know these decisions are never easy. But I'm a firm believer in going with your gut instincts and if that means getting more information, then by all means you are certainly entitled to getting those reports.

Wishing you only the best of luck as you move forward.

brooklynesque · February 2014

Stinkerbell: You might want to seriously consider getting a second opinion from one of the clinics with stellar success rates for donor eggs (unless you're already at such a clinic -- I can't remember if you've mentioned where you cycle). Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago, Oregon Reproductive Medicine, and San Diego Fertility Center come to mind. At the very least make sure you're somewhere with at least a 60% success rate for DE, and only then if they do a fair number of eSETs -- if not I'd go for at least 65-70%. I've seen the right clinic turn ladies' luck around over and over on my other DE boards. Remember -- repeat failure almost anywhere is generally more expensive than a more expensive clinic. And travel for DE is easy.

stinkerbell6879 · February 2014

@brooklynesque The stat's at our RE's is right in line with those, but is not one of those. I really think it has just been a fluke (ya know? someone has to fall on the bad side right?) But I am going to look more into a second opinion, to rule anything out before we move forward.

Km672 · February 2014

Hey there!! I hate it when we are faced with such difficult decisions. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I would absolutely get a second opinion, just to either get reassurance or fix something that could be an easy fix. You can always get the second opinion and if they mention something you want to try, get in touch with your RE and see if it would be an option with your clinic. I wish you all the best!!!

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At a TTC crossroads. Input appreciated :)

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